You can do this!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 398
You can do this!
I wanted to share in the hope it may help.
I started drinking massively in university. It was the done thing apparently to get trashed , feel rough and just about manage to get assignments in. I drank though my twenties thinking the same. Drinking to excess through the entire weekend but being sober in the week for work. I had my two children and was sober throughout so naturally brain goes there’s no problem here!! Fast forward a few years and I’m back drinking through the weekend again. Thinking I was a good mum when truly at times I was probably dreadful!! I then decided at 37 to try sober January. I stayed sober until the November of that year. I attended friends weddings sober and people I knew were constantly shocked that I was sober. I hit Christmas and decided to have a glass of wine. That’s all it took that one glass of wine!!! I still had the mindset though that because I only drank at weekends I didn’t truly have a problem.
I carried on like this for a few years! Then 2020 hit. My beloved step dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the beginning of the February. I was there to support him, help him and support my sister as he is her dad. I drank more to numb the pain but I still felt I had a handle on it. Then the pandemic hit and the lockdown. We couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. My stepdad got iller and was alone. Boris decided we weren’t allowed to be with our loved ones due to covid. My stepdad died alone with me and my sister on FaceTime to each other. It was horrific. She wasn’t allowed a funeral. We still now have not had a funeral. The funeral home that dealt with his cremation charges us for a hearse that they never used. What they did to him broke our hearts and I will never forgive them. Luckily his friend caught them out but it was a sour taste and the reality is so many others were conned and hurt in these times. I started drinking more to cope as I missed him, couldn’t see my mum or my sister. They lived further away and their borders were locked tight. I had to sort my step dads house and clear it and pack it away as my sister wasn’t allowed to travel. It was horrific as she should have been able to do this. This brings me to the beginning of 2021. I was a complete mess and drinking nearly every day. My partner wasn’t very good at supporting as he just didn’t understand bless him and I wasn’t in a position to explain it all. He let his brother move in as he had split with his wife which added to my issues. This brother used my vulnerability to support himself and I ended up drinking daily, drinking behind peoples backs, drinking on the way home from the shop to hide what I had really bought and drinking more in other rooms. I his drink and lied terribly. It came to a head when the brother kissed me, I kissed him back and my partner walked in the room. He walked out on me and I very nearly lost everything I had. I had systematically destroyed my relationship, the trust, everything. I woke up to a drunken haze as I was still drunk and as the hangover hit I realised the enormity of my messed up life. I chose there and then to quit however hard it was rather than drown my already rock bottom sorrows. I admitted to my loved ones the truth. My mum and sister were mad at my choices but fully supportive. Slowly my partner decided to hear me out and listen to what I had to say. Slowly we worked on our relationship. Slowly I built my kids trust that I wouldn’t drink again. I admitted to manager at work my alcoholism and she was so kind and also admitted that she had known. She has been nothing but supportive!
Fast forward to today. I am 310 days sober. My relationship with my partner is much stronger. Yes there are hard days where we both struggle but it’s a work in progress. My children trust me again. My son is happy for me to walk to the shop alone again as he knows I won’t drink on the way back. He’s so proud of how far I have come. My family know I’m keeping my word and they know I’m stronger now. Knowing my loved ones are proud of how far I’ve come is so amazing! Yes i still have bad days where I remember the pull of the red wine! But I know without a shadow of a doubt that I do NOT want to go back to where I was!
You can do this! I won’t lie it’s hard and there are days where you just want to give up and throw in the towel! But please don’t!! When you get more sober time you won’t recognise yourself and you will be so happy that you pushed through the really bad days and came out the other side!! If you had told me this time last year next year you will be happy and sober I would have laughed especially because I didn’t even recognise I was an alcoholic.
im Josie I’m an alcoholic and I’m so happy to be living this sober life!! Xx
I started drinking massively in university. It was the done thing apparently to get trashed , feel rough and just about manage to get assignments in. I drank though my twenties thinking the same. Drinking to excess through the entire weekend but being sober in the week for work. I had my two children and was sober throughout so naturally brain goes there’s no problem here!! Fast forward a few years and I’m back drinking through the weekend again. Thinking I was a good mum when truly at times I was probably dreadful!! I then decided at 37 to try sober January. I stayed sober until the November of that year. I attended friends weddings sober and people I knew were constantly shocked that I was sober. I hit Christmas and decided to have a glass of wine. That’s all it took that one glass of wine!!! I still had the mindset though that because I only drank at weekends I didn’t truly have a problem.
I carried on like this for a few years! Then 2020 hit. My beloved step dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the beginning of the February. I was there to support him, help him and support my sister as he is her dad. I drank more to numb the pain but I still felt I had a handle on it. Then the pandemic hit and the lockdown. We couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. My stepdad got iller and was alone. Boris decided we weren’t allowed to be with our loved ones due to covid. My stepdad died alone with me and my sister on FaceTime to each other. It was horrific. She wasn’t allowed a funeral. We still now have not had a funeral. The funeral home that dealt with his cremation charges us for a hearse that they never used. What they did to him broke our hearts and I will never forgive them. Luckily his friend caught them out but it was a sour taste and the reality is so many others were conned and hurt in these times. I started drinking more to cope as I missed him, couldn’t see my mum or my sister. They lived further away and their borders were locked tight. I had to sort my step dads house and clear it and pack it away as my sister wasn’t allowed to travel. It was horrific as she should have been able to do this. This brings me to the beginning of 2021. I was a complete mess and drinking nearly every day. My partner wasn’t very good at supporting as he just didn’t understand bless him and I wasn’t in a position to explain it all. He let his brother move in as he had split with his wife which added to my issues. This brother used my vulnerability to support himself and I ended up drinking daily, drinking behind peoples backs, drinking on the way home from the shop to hide what I had really bought and drinking more in other rooms. I his drink and lied terribly. It came to a head when the brother kissed me, I kissed him back and my partner walked in the room. He walked out on me and I very nearly lost everything I had. I had systematically destroyed my relationship, the trust, everything. I woke up to a drunken haze as I was still drunk and as the hangover hit I realised the enormity of my messed up life. I chose there and then to quit however hard it was rather than drown my already rock bottom sorrows. I admitted to my loved ones the truth. My mum and sister were mad at my choices but fully supportive. Slowly my partner decided to hear me out and listen to what I had to say. Slowly we worked on our relationship. Slowly I built my kids trust that I wouldn’t drink again. I admitted to manager at work my alcoholism and she was so kind and also admitted that she had known. She has been nothing but supportive!
Fast forward to today. I am 310 days sober. My relationship with my partner is much stronger. Yes there are hard days where we both struggle but it’s a work in progress. My children trust me again. My son is happy for me to walk to the shop alone again as he knows I won’t drink on the way back. He’s so proud of how far I have come. My family know I’m keeping my word and they know I’m stronger now. Knowing my loved ones are proud of how far I’ve come is so amazing! Yes i still have bad days where I remember the pull of the red wine! But I know without a shadow of a doubt that I do NOT want to go back to where I was!
You can do this! I won’t lie it’s hard and there are days where you just want to give up and throw in the towel! But please don’t!! When you get more sober time you won’t recognise yourself and you will be so happy that you pushed through the really bad days and came out the other side!! If you had told me this time last year next year you will be happy and sober I would have laughed especially because I didn’t even recognise I was an alcoholic.
im Josie I’m an alcoholic and I’m so happy to be living this sober life!! Xx
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,510
Josie, Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful news.
I can relate - 'one glass of wine' was all it took for me to return to years of alcoholic drinking after 3 yrs. of sobriety. The lesson has stayed with me, though.
Congratulations on your 310 days. I'm so glad you've been able to get free at a relatively young age.
I can relate - 'one glass of wine' was all it took for me to return to years of alcoholic drinking after 3 yrs. of sobriety. The lesson has stayed with me, though.
Congratulations on your 310 days. I'm so glad you've been able to get free at a relatively young age.
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