Smegasaur

Hi everyone thanks for all your great support. I did 12 days dry, thought this is easy so had a drink at the weekend, then stopped again till the next weekend had a bit more but thought I had it under control, the next weekend was I didn’t stop for five days because I had some time off, ended up worse than when I started, was out fell over don’t remember much lost my wallet everything turn to ****! Not drunk since, obviously I’m never going to be in control, how many times can you give yourself another chance? What’s the mindset to just not do it? And just say No? Are you ever in control???

Dee74

The day I accepted I couldn't control my drinking I regained control of my life smegasaur.
Do you reckon you're at the point now to give it up for good?

Smegasaur

Totally I keep reaching new low points! How low do I have to go before the penny drops.

least

The last time I drank, I woke up feeling like death warmed over and said THAT'S ENOUGH!! I decided then and there that drinking was no longer an option under any circumstances.


I hope you get to that point before something really bad happens that you can't take back.

Smegasaur

Thank you. I feel like I’m at that “THATS ENOUGH “ moment. I thought it was easy at first, no problem, but I can’t get complacent I’ve had enough now, this site and the stories on it are inspiring I have to do it. Cheers

dustyfox

I hope you do Do it - it is without a doubt the best decision I have made, and I now have my life back. Good luck.

Smegasaur

Thanks dustyfox I do feel I can do it, and when I started stopping I was starting to feel really go, happier I felt confident I could do it, but that could of been my downfall I was running before I’d learned to walk. Gunna try harder this time, maybe to the point that I can get a good nights sleep, anyway here’s hoping thanks.

Hevyn

Smeg - Just before I finally admitted there'd be no control I really went off the tracks. I was trying to prove to myself that with enough willpower I could just have a drink or two. The last time I tried to be in control I crashed & burned very badly. I took alcohol to work, got a DUI & had to go to court, let down a lot of people, made a fool of myself in so many ways. It took me a long time to admit that once it was in my system I'd behave in a reckless way, no matter how determined I was to stick to my plan of moderation. It was not possible. Finally acknowledging that was actually a relief. I knew what had to be done, no more gambling with my life.
I'm glad you're here. We know you can get free.

Surrendered19

You can get on top of this Smegasaur. Best not to theorize how low you can go. It is much lower, but enough of that.

Once you conclude once and for all that drinking can never be your response to any situations or feelings, you can leave it behind for good.

Mummyto2

Sounds like me, felt good and thought yeah 1 drink, that first drink sent me spiralling and always will, bloody poisonous stuff, you can do this good luck

nez

Been there. Done that. Thought I was trying to control my drinking. What I was doing was trying to control was my sobriety by occasionally not being sober.

For me, it is like to control my breathing by occasionally not breathing. It goes alright for a while, but the desire to breath is always there, so it is much easier to surrender to breathing all the time rather than taking breaks from it. Holding my breath is just not worth the effort and the results are always the same.

My soul wants to breath. It is natural. Holding my breath is not. I was born breathing. Drinking is not natural. I wasn't born drinking. I learned it. I can unlearn it and be natural once again.

Smegasaur

Thanks Mummyto2 & nez. Thank you all for the positivity much appreciated, it sounds like you can never relax against the fight for sobriety. Just got to be strong.

fishkiller

You give yourself as many chances as it takes. Hopefully this is the last one you need.
If you are like me you will never be able to drink "normally" so I decided to not drink at all.

There is a bit more to it but once you make that decision it gets easier.
We can relax but must be ever vigilant against alcohol and our AV.
It gets easier with time.

Jo43

Hi Smeg

Im 310 days sober and I still keep my eye on the ball! I always will and be vigilant as I know I can’t have one as it WILL lead to more. It’s what is inside me. I never stop being vigilant and I never will stop.

Well done on coming back and keeping on going. That’s the key to this! Always taking each day! Keep posting and keep coming back xx

DriGuy

"Not being able to control your drinking" is one of the most commonly used definitions for alcoholism. Alcoholism is for life; If you are an alcoholic, you can never NOT BE and alcoholic. You drink; The results will always be the same. It's one of the hardest facts about alcoholism that the alcoholic must come to terms with.

We drink after a long spell of sobriety, because we start to feel healthy, and it feels like we aren't really alcoholic anymore. Until you accept that you can never drink, this will always be a struggle. We want to deny that we are alcoholic, and why not? No one wants to be that. This is one of the big problems that alcoholics have with reality. We can't change reality.

Zebra1275

I quit drinking pretty easily . . . about 1,000 times.

The problem was, I would have always have drink after a few days of sobriety. After awhile the time between drinking episodes decreased, until at the end I was drinking every night and most mornings just to relieve my hangover. Alcoholism is progressive, and I guess I did the research to prove it.

I kept trying and trying to get sober, relying on the advice from a drunk, me! That didn't work.

I finally gave up and tried AA and joined this website. It wasn't always easy, and I had some setbacks, but I'm coming up on 12 years sober in a few weeks. If I can do it, so can you.

Anna

I will never be in control of alcohol, and I think, if you can accept that fact about yourself, sobriety and recovery will become a lot easier.

DriGuy

What I call strength (and there are a lot of semantics in that word) was necessary in the beginning during those god awful obsessive cravings. That's where the strength of willpower came into play for me. If the cravings had not lessened, I'm not sure I would have had the strength to keep it up, but it's universally accepted by those who are in successful recovery that the cravings always diminish in the presence of strict abstinence. No cheating can be tolerated, not even a little, because that restarts the craving cycle. But with time, the cravings become easily manageable. There are tips on steps you can take to ease the cravings. I didn't know about them and just muscled my way. It was horrible.

But when the cravings are manageable, you are not cured. While you no longer need strength, you now have to depend on smarts, and this is most critical for alcoholics. Now you have to learn to identify your alcoholic voice, and learn not to engage it. Not with acceptance, or debate. It loves to argue. Don't do it. Mentally run from it. Learn to choose not to drink when you:

1. think you are well enough,
2. need just a little to take the edge off,
3. need a break from recovery,
4. have cause for a celebration over a wonderful event, or
5. any other good ideas you get from your AV.

YOU CAN'T DRINK! You can't ever drink, or it's right back to the beginning... and worse from what I hear. I never tried it. I couldn't imagine wanting to go through those early cravings again.

LoveDD

I quit So MANY times! But when I was finally sick and tired of being sick and tired and realized I could never drink again, not even one, things changed. The first 6 months were rough, hard, a lot of work maybe even miserable for the first 2-3 but let me tell you when you commit and come out on the other side it is an amazing thing to experience living life to the fullest again! Keep trying. You CAN do it.

Hodd

Aww, sorry Smeg.

You need to admit defeat. Alcohol’s won and now has you by the you know whats. You need to run away bravely. It all sounds a bit cowardly and weak, but it’s the only way to kick this addiction and start quitting properly. None of us reading now can be “weekend” drinkers like that. Whether it’s been 5 days or 30 years, that attempted moderation will lead to heavy drinking all over again.

I used to do exactly the same. I’d quit for a few weeks, start again and soon be drinking even more. Admit defeat on this one. You’ll be immensely glad you did.