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Join Date: Feb 2022
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Originally Posted by AAPJ 
Welcome! 16 years is a long time. How did you get/stay sober? Clearly you did not use the soberrecovery forum. Thanks!
I used the assistance program in place at work, checked into rehab for 20 days, the first 6 months after was scary.Went to a lot of AA meetings in those first few months but didn't stick with it....
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Originally Posted by MLD51
Welcome! And congratulation on 16 years.
Warning: Sad Cautionary Tale coming.
I had a dear friend I had known since junior high. I had not seen him in years, and we ran into each other at a bar and hit it off and began dating. We both drank pretty heavily at the time. I found out after some time went by that he had been sober for 16 years and decided he was "cured" enough to drink again. We dated a while but broke up. Stayed in touch. He called me one night and said he needed help, he'd gotten a DUI. I went and picked him up, and he decided he needed to be sober again. He went to treatment, went to AA. Got sober (or so I believed). I got a DUI a few months later and also went to treatment and AA. We dated again, sober. Broke up again because something was "off" about his sobriety and I saw warning flags. Still stayed in touch. Came to find out he was drinking more than ever, and had been for some time, even though people thought he was sober. He had given up trying to be sober. He gave up on life on October 9, 2019. Took his life. Was unemployed, nearly homeless, destitute, and ill. I had tried so hard to convince him to live, to go back to sobriety. I felt so guilty, like I could have done more. I still feel that way sometimes. The sadness is with me every day.
So, even 16 years isn't enough time. 7 years isn't enough (that's how long I've been sober). I had another dear friend who went back out after 5 years and died of internal bleeding. I know countless others who "experimented" and it was disastrous. Whenever hear that little voice in my head telling me it might be ok to have a drinkie-poo I just think about my friends who didn't make it back alive. It would be stupid of me to think I wasn't running the same risk. I'm the same as they were. Powerless over alcohol. Gotta stay humble.
Warning: Sad Cautionary Tale coming.
I had a dear friend I had known since junior high. I had not seen him in years, and we ran into each other at a bar and hit it off and began dating. We both drank pretty heavily at the time. I found out after some time went by that he had been sober for 16 years and decided he was "cured" enough to drink again. We dated a while but broke up. Stayed in touch. He called me one night and said he needed help, he'd gotten a DUI. I went and picked him up, and he decided he needed to be sober again. He went to treatment, went to AA. Got sober (or so I believed). I got a DUI a few months later and also went to treatment and AA. We dated again, sober. Broke up again because something was "off" about his sobriety and I saw warning flags. Still stayed in touch. Came to find out he was drinking more than ever, and had been for some time, even though people thought he was sober. He had given up trying to be sober. He gave up on life on October 9, 2019. Took his life. Was unemployed, nearly homeless, destitute, and ill. I had tried so hard to convince him to live, to go back to sobriety. I felt so guilty, like I could have done more. I still feel that way sometimes. The sadness is with me every day.
So, even 16 years isn't enough time. 7 years isn't enough (that's how long I've been sober). I had another dear friend who went back out after 5 years and died of internal bleeding. I know countless others who "experimented" and it was disastrous. Whenever hear that little voice in my head telling me it might be ok to have a drinkie-poo I just think about my friends who didn't make it back alive. It would be stupid of me to think I wasn't running the same risk. I'm the same as they were. Powerless over alcohol. Gotta stay humble.
I told one friend that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, I lost a family member to suicide.
I never came so close as one morning when I woke up so extremely hung over and depressed that it seemed almost reasonable...
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
Drinking made me so depressed that suicide seemed like a good idea to end my miserable life. After I'd been sober for a few months, the depression lifted and I no longer had thoughts of taking my own life. So glad I got sober. I'll never go back to that hell.
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