silentrun

The next couple of years has to be about you. It's going to take everything you have to clear this.

SouthernSober

I understand everyone's--and their circumstances, dilemmas, etc.--different. But one of my iron-clad rules: I refuse to have any relationship with anyone, no exceptions, who is dishonest with me. I've never regretted that policy and I never will.

Delilah1

Hi Ican,

I am going to agree with everyone else who said to stick with the hard order. I’ve followed your story, and based where you are in your sobriety right now I do not think changing things with your son at this time is a good idea. It doesn’t mean you can never have contact again, but I think you need more time to go by so you have more sobriety and he has had time to continue making good choices.

My mom passed away three years ago, and she completely enabled my now 43 year old brother his entire life. He’s an addict who she continually made excuses for, and bailed out, it didn’t help him because he’s really struggling to grow up now, and I’m not sure that is ever going to happen. They had an extremely codependent relationship, and it took a huge toll on both her mental and I believe physical health.

This is one of those airplane situations where you put on your oxygen first. I know it’s not easy, but I truly believe it’s the right thing for you, and for him.

Sending lots of love.
❤️Delilah

BornToBeSober

I know he is your son which makes this much harder but a 'non molestation order,' is a very serious charge. I don't know what happened but next time it might be much worse. People tend to hold grudges and you don't know how your son will react if he loses his temper.

Frankly, son or not, if you have that type of order against someone you probably should not have contact with this person for a very long time, if ever, unless you are absolutely 100% certain this person has changed.

Please think things through Icandothis2013 and most importantly - stay sober!