40 days!!
Hi, back in the Bahamas, working, back on my normal schedule/ life. Sober and keeping it going since the slip in FL. Plan on keeping busy on my days off fishing, diving, kiteboarding, positive active things. My heads in a good place now that I'm back here. Still on here reading every night before bed.
Cool deal crazychef! Thanks for filling us in. What part of the Bahamas are you based out of? I have spent some time on Andros, diving and checking out the blue holes, camping on the beach, and selling fish caught to the hotel down the beach for folding money. Good times.
Mostly based out of Nassau because of the easy flights. Was just in Bimini for a week and heading to the Exumas on Sunday for a week. Hopefully will do a big trip in a month or 2 hitting the Southern Bahamas. I like it down there. Andros is a cool island, bonefishing is a borderline obsession for me.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,920
Sounds like a time to cherish, chef 👍
I think you know, drinking would ruin it, so it’s brilliant to hear you’re spending this time sober. I mentioned on here living abroad for years as a drinker. Big waste, and that’s why I cherish my life now, albeit not exotic right now
I think you know, drinking would ruin it, so it’s brilliant to hear you’re spending this time sober. I mentioned on here living abroad for years as a drinker. Big waste, and that’s why I cherish my life now, albeit not exotic right now
Still sober, still on here reading every night before bed but was seriously contemplating a drink tonight. I'm on charter now with very demanding high end guests. The stress level is a 10 for the entire crew. I can't do what I need to do for my job because of his rules. I'm on a yacht with a full bar at my disposal. I had to cook with white wine tonight so opened a bottle. Wine was never my drink of choice but after 14 hours of cooking when I open my fridge it was sitting on the shelf cold right in front of me calling. I resested it, laying in bed happy now and less stressed.
Kind of new to actually staying sober with a permanent mindset of never drinking again. Anyone have any tips/ tricks to move past that moment that in my head I'm contemplating a drink because of a circumstance. My job is usually pretty low stress but tonight brought me back to my restaurant days of super fast pace high stress and the thing I looked forward to was an iced cold double rum and coke after the chaos was over.
I need to find some tools to use as soon as the thought pops into my head to fend them off. But unfortunately for me there is no way for me not to be surrounded by alcohol working and cooking on a yacht in the Caribbean so I need to remain extra vigilant.
Kind of new to actually staying sober with a permanent mindset of never drinking again. Anyone have any tips/ tricks to move past that moment that in my head I'm contemplating a drink because of a circumstance. My job is usually pretty low stress but tonight brought me back to my restaurant days of super fast pace high stress and the thing I looked forward to was an iced cold double rum and coke after the chaos was over.
I need to find some tools to use as soon as the thought pops into my head to fend them off. But unfortunately for me there is no way for me not to be surrounded by alcohol working and cooking on a yacht in the Caribbean so I need to remain extra vigilant.
Hi Crazychef,
I have just re-read this thread and am full of admiration for how you handle sobriety in such an intense environment. There is a lot of good advice in this thread - I suggest you re-read it yourself. The key for myself would be to 'play the tape to the end' and realise that even one drink would lead to the next with all the chaos that would bring. A challenge of early sobriety is that you might not have yet developed methods of coping with pressure by any means other than drinking. If you can do so though, you will build those sober muscles we talk about and it all becomes a self-reinforcing process over time. It does get easier...
Put your sobriety first and everything else will follow!
Keep up the good work. All the best. Forwards.
I have just re-read this thread and am full of admiration for how you handle sobriety in such an intense environment. There is a lot of good advice in this thread - I suggest you re-read it yourself. The key for myself would be to 'play the tape to the end' and realise that even one drink would lead to the next with all the chaos that would bring. A challenge of early sobriety is that you might not have yet developed methods of coping with pressure by any means other than drinking. If you can do so though, you will build those sober muscles we talk about and it all becomes a self-reinforcing process over time. It does get easier...
Put your sobriety first and everything else will follow!
Keep up the good work. All the best. Forwards.
That’s a good and fair question. In those days when I was figuring out that I wasn’t going to return to drinking, but wondered how, I ended up in several situations similar to that which you describe.
I made not drinking the one and only, most important priority. Not the kind of priority that would stress me out. Just the one thing that absolutely could not be negotiated. In some situations I’d get up and go to the bathroom, shut myself in there for a few minutes, and just focus on myself, breathe. I left situations like that as soon as possible. When I caught myself feeling frustrated, angry, and/or resentful, I refocused on what I was grateful for. I posted here. When the thought of a drink came into my head in terms of anticipating it as a reward, I thought instead about the reward of waking up with a clear head. (I’m sure you know how much better it feels.) Not drinking, in the beginning, and for a while after that, was pretty much my sole and constant internal priority. Everything else was premised on that. I took it day by day. I had a rule: I won’t drink today. Just today. And that rule applies to tomorrow too but it’s not tomorrow right now, it’s still today. Tomorrow is none of today’s business. Today I’m not drinking. Sometimes I took it by the hour. During those moments I often looked at this site on my phone; those were the more difficult moments.
Know that it will be easier, like riding a bike or learning any new technical skill. It’s not rocket science. You’re training your brain. You’ve got this.
b
I made not drinking the one and only, most important priority. Not the kind of priority that would stress me out. Just the one thing that absolutely could not be negotiated. In some situations I’d get up and go to the bathroom, shut myself in there for a few minutes, and just focus on myself, breathe. I left situations like that as soon as possible. When I caught myself feeling frustrated, angry, and/or resentful, I refocused on what I was grateful for. I posted here. When the thought of a drink came into my head in terms of anticipating it as a reward, I thought instead about the reward of waking up with a clear head. (I’m sure you know how much better it feels.) Not drinking, in the beginning, and for a while after that, was pretty much my sole and constant internal priority. Everything else was premised on that. I took it day by day. I had a rule: I won’t drink today. Just today. And that rule applies to tomorrow too but it’s not tomorrow right now, it’s still today. Tomorrow is none of today’s business. Today I’m not drinking. Sometimes I took it by the hour. During those moments I often looked at this site on my phone; those were the more difficult moments.
Know that it will be easier, like riding a bike or learning any new technical skill. It’s not rocket science. You’re training your brain. You’ve got this.
b
Hey crazy, your post made my night. I am sitting here quietly screaming at the monitor saying "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
I am so glad for you!!!
It might sound corny, but what has worked for me in the past is complete, total, honesty. Yes I might want it...but not really, not deep in my gut. My first response, is not always what is best for me. A lot of times it is my spoiled self centered "I want" two year old child side of my personality. Honesty brings me to my senses and reminds me that the key is not getting what I want, it is wanting what I get. What I get by refusing the siren call of alcohol is my self respect and dignity; and those are priceless!
Keep at it Chef. You are doing great!
I am so glad for you!!!
It might sound corny, but what has worked for me in the past is complete, total, honesty. Yes I might want it...but not really, not deep in my gut. My first response, is not always what is best for me. A lot of times it is my spoiled self centered "I want" two year old child side of my personality. Honesty brings me to my senses and reminds me that the key is not getting what I want, it is wanting what I get. What I get by refusing the siren call of alcohol is my self respect and dignity; and those are priceless!
Keep at it Chef. You are doing great!
Play it forward. We don't have just one drink.
We have no drinks. It's a much better life.
Stress. You will find other ways to deal with it. Long rough day? Bask in the glory of knowing you got it done and the day is over. Have some sweets or some other kind of treat besides alcohol.
Alcohol really doesn't relieve stress anyway. Just buries it shallow enough it always digs its way back out.
When we learn to actually process what stresses us out we can eliminate it.
Early on there were days when all I could do is remember I Do NOT Drink anymore.
We have no drinks. It's a much better life.
Stress. You will find other ways to deal with it. Long rough day? Bask in the glory of knowing you got it done and the day is over. Have some sweets or some other kind of treat besides alcohol.
Alcohol really doesn't relieve stress anyway. Just buries it shallow enough it always digs its way back out.
When we learn to actually process what stresses us out we can eliminate it.
Early on there were days when all I could do is remember I Do NOT Drink anymore.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,920
I’ve heard from other chefs, chef, that heavy drinking is a bit problem in that profession with the long hours, late nights, etc. You did amazingly well with that bottle of wine in the fridge. I reckon I’d have had (and regretted) a quick swig.
Not a very helpful suggestion, but do you need to take on such a stressful gig? You said the job’s normally low stress. Can’t you keep it that way? I’m not playing down the job by any means as I’ve seen first hand how much work’s involved, but the fact is it’s just a job and not worth risking your health for.
Not a very helpful suggestion, but do you need to take on such a stressful gig? You said the job’s normally low stress. Can’t you keep it that way? I’m not playing down the job by any means as I’ve seen first hand how much work’s involved, but the fact is it’s just a job and not worth risking your health for.
I’ve heard from other chefs, chef, that heavy drinking is a bit problem in that profession with the long hours, late nights, etc. You did amazingly well with that bottle of wine in the fridge. I reckon I’d have had (and regretted) a quick swig.
Not a very helpful suggestion, but do you need to take on such a stressful gig? You said the job’s normally low stress. Can’t you keep it that way? I’m not playing down the job by any means as I’ve seen first hand how much work’s involved, but the fact is it’s just a job and not worth risking your health for.
Not a very helpful suggestion, but do you need to take on such a stressful gig? You said the job’s normally low stress. Can’t you keep it that way? I’m not playing down the job by any means as I’ve seen first hand how much work’s involved, but the fact is it’s just a job and not worth risking your health for.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,920
I have to ask as I’m a big advocate of “it’s just a job”, is there a big advantage of being a chef in that environment? The chef I know worked in a restaurant with appalling hours and left to work in a very nice (posh) school. The standards are higher (UK public school), but the hours are sensible. They got their life back.
I have to ask as I’m a big advocate of “it’s just a job”, is there a big advantage of being a chef in that environment? The chef I know worked in a restaurant with appalling hours and left to work in a very nice (posh) school. The standards are higher (UK public school), but the hours are sensible. They got their life back.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,920
I’ve got to say, chef, your job definitely has its upsides.
I’m trying to imagine if I was suddenly to become a chef (I don’t have anywhere near your talent) what I’d feel like around so much alcohol. To be honest, as I’m three years sober, I’d probably be OK. Plus the drinkers I see around the U.K. are mostly unattractive and overweight. It’s a daily reminder not to be like them to be frank. I’d imagine the drinkers in your eyeline look way better. In your shoes, I’d probably buy a pair of bathroom scales and some running shoes and get some miles in. That helped me cut down and later quit.
You’re doing really well. It’s just a lot of temptation around you.
I’m trying to imagine if I was suddenly to become a chef (I don’t have anywhere near your talent) what I’d feel like around so much alcohol. To be honest, as I’m three years sober, I’d probably be OK. Plus the drinkers I see around the U.K. are mostly unattractive and overweight. It’s a daily reminder not to be like them to be frank. I’d imagine the drinkers in your eyeline look way better. In your shoes, I’d probably buy a pair of bathroom scales and some running shoes and get some miles in. That helped me cut down and later quit.
You’re doing really well. It’s just a lot of temptation around you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)