ShineALight

I just joined after seeing a link for this site elsewhere. It's been about 27 months since my last sip of alcohol/poison, but I've been dealing with some painful family stuff lately, and noticed that my age-old desire to side-step emotions (which I did for 40+ years) is still in my head. I'm generally pretty confident and fulfilled in my sobriety, but it's been a pretty brutal couple of years, and it's all being topped off with a generous serving of heartbreak as I watch my 90-year-old mother rapidly deteriorate from dementia. I find my brain trying to dive back into its old fatalistic self-destructive patterns when thinking about the inevitable end that awaits us all. Usually I'm pretty joyous and content within my sober days, but it's been a real slog lately. It's nice to be here. Thank you all for having me.

advbike

Welcome, ShineALight. This is a wonderful community, and we're glad to have you here. Congrats on two years, it sounds like you're doing well overall, but I'm sorry to hear about your aging mother. I also went through a few years of that after mine had a stroke at 90. Sober or not, we still have to deal with life, and it deals us all different cards, but there is no escaping our ultimate fate. Hopefully she had a good life and you can reflect back on that, as I do when I think of my own mom. Yes, emotions are tough sometimes - I can relate. I find the serenity prayer, and a gratitude practice to be helpful.

Hodd

Hi Shine, that’s not a pleasant situation you’re on, so fair play to you for not having a sneaky drink when it sounds like you’re having cravings (as I certainly do and I reckon most of us now and then). I was within an inch of relapsing after having to sort a problem out for my mum. They’re hard work! Make sure you care about your own health, physical and mental, too. Take a break now and then from what’s going on with your mum. What I’ve learned, quite shockingly, from SR is that we’ll be hit with intermittent cravings forever more. Not the nicest thought, but let’s stay vigilant. All the best to you at such a stressful time.

Anna

Welcome ShineaLight, I'm sorry for your family issues and I hope you can find some peace. Good for you for recognizing that reaching out would be helpful. And, congratulations on 27 months of recovery.

ShineALight

Thanks, y'all. It truly means a lot. Time to go indulge in some self-care on the elliptical.

Hevyn

Hello, Shine - It's great you found us. This is a wonderful place for encouragement & friendship.
I'm sorry for the sadness you're dealing with. I'm thankful you realize drinking wouldn't do a thing to help the situation. I fell back on my old 'friend' too many times, and it always led to disaster & chaos. Congratulations on your 27 mos. free. You've done a wonderful thing for yourself.

least

Welcome to the family Shine! Congrats on your 27 months sober. I'm sorry you're going thru so much heartache and trouble right now. You know that drinking won't help at all, and will only make things worse. I'm sending you hugs and strength to get thru these troubling times.

Dee74

Welcome to SR

D

dustyfox

Hi Shine, 27 Months is a great achievement. I empathise with how you feel about your mother. Dementia is a cruel disease which is so hard to bear witness to. My own mother is currently slipping day by day into that darkness. I am so grateful to be sober , despite how painful it is. Kindness and compassion for your self at this difficult time is essential, posting here will help. You will need your strength.

ShineALight

End of the day here, and feeling better. Seeing all of your comments helped a lot. I did what I could on the mom front, knocked out my work duties, gave my buddy a nice long walk, worked out, and vacuumed the house. I'm feeling a quiet dignity and satisfaction as I head to bed. These victories always make one stronger for the next challenge, and given the way my last couple of weeks have been going, I'm sure tomorrow will bring its own set of issues, but I feel like today was a good day despite the emotional turmoil. A heartfelt thanks to you all!!! ;-)

SimplySue

Hello shine

You have definitely come to the right place. The people are lovely. Sorry to hear you’re having stress but you’ve done well to avoid going back to the old ways. Keep training on the elliptical!