SouthernIsolati

Hi,
I'm not entirely sure how to start this, but I just thought I should write something. I was sober for many years, but succumbed to temptation from a non0sober significant other (not that I'm blaming them per se, I made the decision to drink). It's all been downhill from there. I can't seem to force myself to attend AA for whatever reason. I truly don't know why. I drink to dull my boredom and isolation. I suspect also to numb my disappointment with my current state. I believe I'm slowly drinking myself to death. I've come here to try to put myself back onto the path of recovery, and perhaps build up the willpower to take a more concrete step, like attending AA meetings.

Steely

Welcome SouthernIso. I drank after 5 years of sobriety and find myself here also. Similar reasons. . I think relapse after long period abstinent makes it difficult to stop again. Feel like fail, but you have not, and you will get sober again. Today

I've been sober for 2 years now and it is sooo much better. Will never return to drinking again. And never thought I would say that. You can do it too.

Are you still with the non sober significant other? What does he/she think about your drinking, or don't they care?

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

saoutchik

Welcome to SR SouthernIsolati

If you have been sober before then you KNOW you can do it again. You would almost certainly be in a much better position to change your current state rather than passively being disappointed with it.

AA is crucial for some people but it is not for everyone, it suits some personalities more than others so if you really loathe the idea of going then don't, it is perfectly possible to quit without using them. Due to Covid, face to face meetings of any sort have been off the table until recently anyway so it might be worthwhile looking for online meetings as an alternative.

Good luck!

Dee74

Great to have you join us SouthernIsolation

D

Hevyn

Good to have you with us, SouthernIsolati. You'll find this to be a welcoming & encouraging place. Everyone here understands what you're going through.

I had 3 yrs. sober once & decided it would be ok to have a glass of wine. That started me back on a terrible road to destruction & misery. Took me years to get back my sobriety & sanity. As Steely mentioned, relapse after abstinence is especially hard to recover from. The only good thing to come out of that horrible time was the determination to never touch the stuff again. I knew it was going to kill me.

You can do this!

VikingGF

Welcome, SouthernIsolation, you have found a great place. SR has been my main support and that's true for lots of members. You've had sobriety before, so you can get there again- the important thing is to never stop stopping. We are very glad to have you join us!

fini

welcome, Southern.
wondering if you’re aware there are organizations other than AA that have meetings, also? SMART Recovery and Lifering come to mind - check them out if it is AA meetings in particular that you are barriered ( i just made that word up) against but interested in connecting with others via zoom or in person.
and, hm, you say you might be drinking to numb your disappointment with your current state. thing is, your current state now includes getting drunk to deal with your current state and its disappointment. pretty much guaranteed to worsen your current state and increase the disappointment, yes?
lots of ways to go about this, and it’s great to see you here wanting to change direction.
showing up is always a good beginning!

Delilah1

Welcome to SR Southern! I went back and forth between periods of sobriety and failed attempts at moderation for years. SR helped me finally make sobriety stick. This is a wonderful place for support. I have found the monthly classes, and 24 hour thread really helpful. You should jump in and join the February of 2022 class!!

advbike

Welcome friend. You are in good hands here but you need to do the work. Read threads, post, and join the February class.

This is a great place with good people - you will be able to do it if you want it. That part is key.

DriGuy

Significant others do wield power in relationships. In my plan for recovery, I included that trigger and how I would deal with it. I could not be a part of someone else's alcoholic needs. It's a hard one to resist, but yes, recovery does require some hard choices, and few are harder than that one.

I could make a good guess. You are walking into a room full of people who were so ruined that they have to gather together to get their lives back together. You must publicly acknowledge your failure in what seems like a last ditch effort. It's a ego buster for sure. But here you are doing the same thing on the internet, although granted, there is much more anonymity on the internet than in AA. Reaching out is letting go of your independence and self direction. But here's the the thing; You already let go of all that when you let alcohol take over your life for you.

You don't need to explain that. Your reasons may be interesting, even if they might be true, but disregard those problems for now, and focus on the solution. We can help, but you still have to do the heavy lifting.

Maxing your willpower is necessary during the cravings, but you will soon realize that gargantuan amounts of willpower are not what you will experience or even need later. After the cravings, you will only need to make choices not to drink when those alcoholic brainstorms fumble into your head. You may or many not overcome your reservations about AA. But it's one of many ways to solve your problem, and does help many people.

It's good to have you here.

Mizz

Welcome! You can change your life. You did it before. I dont attend AA but there are many people here who have gained freedom from their active alcoholism in the AA program. Do what you feel is best for you. Its all one day at a time for everyone. You can do this.

Surrendered19

Welcome to SR SouthernIsolati. The nonsober significant other is a tough situation, but many here navigate those waters successfully. You know the drill right? That person's support will be so key to your getting sober again but as DriGuy says, the heavy lifting is up to you. Lay out your plan and let your SO know what it is. No booze in your home for a while? Make a plan on how you are going to do it. I'm glad you joined us.

I appreciate you telling your story. I've been sober two years and hearing others tell of drinking again after long periods sober is so scary/motivating/powerful for me to hear.

Anna

Welcome and I'm glad you're working on your sobriety. Yes, it does add a bit of a challenge if your partner is drinking, but it can be done! As others have said, talk to your partner and express your plan to stop drinking.