Alpine

My original thread was titled " I keep getting knocked down". I decided it was a negative title and I need to focus on the positive. AV has been really loud lately darn it and last night when I woke up at 1am it would not shut up. It may sound silly..but in my head I kept repeating go away, go away..... I know I have to keep my self busy both physically and actively to help mute it. Well I just wanted to check in with all of you fine people here. Have a great day. I may check in later just to say high or to yell at my AV. Although I do not like to yell. After a stupid relapse I am on day 7.

biminiblue

In early sobriety my brain would still fixate on things. It's part of the obsessive loop of anxiety and it was caused by taking alcohol away from my nervous system. The sedation was gone. The quieting of the thoughts was gone and my brain was in full-on panic, ramped up. It wasn't just drinking thoughts, I would grab on to all kinds of negative stuff and had trouble letting go.

It Gets Better, Alpine. Hang on.

After a few months I found a peace I hadn't felt since before I started drinking. It took a while, but I don't get into those circular obsessive loops in that way any more. I'm much more able to pause, process it, and move on.

Free2bme888

Yay!

🪅🎉🎊🎏🪄

Surrendered19

We're with you on this road Alpine. Nice job on 7 days.

Erratic

im with u alipine i have AV just now but im knocking it back and riding it . good job on day 7 hun im on day 8. you got this!!!!!

least

We're with you all the way! We're traveling this road together. You are never alone.

samwitch

GOOD JOB!!
We are with you.

Alpine

I did the treadmill for 45 minutes and weights for 20, then took Riley out for a walk. Trying to beat that AV down as hard as I can. Since the sun is out I will probably go for a walk outside later today. I need to continue to keep myself busy because like most people I feel better about myself the more active and productive I am.I just wish that voice would go away. I know..it will take time. I just have to have patience. I hope everyone is doing well.

Alpine

I know I have to hold myself accountable for my actions. Just checking in again..Like some of you I am sure, I drank out of habit. When I started drinking to excess, I was drinkng while I was cooking, cleaning, sewing, reading, etc,,the list could go on so I associate pretty much everything with drinking. I need to break that mindset.

Anna

Great job on Day 7, Alpine.

The AV will quiet down as days and weeks go by. It's pushing hard right now, but things will get easier. It's good to hear that you're staying the course.

JimiC

When AV pays a visit, don't serve tea and entertain. Usher it right out the back door!

Hevyn

I love the name change, Alpine! What a great idea.

As you mentioned, I drank out of habit too. I did it for so many years it was part of every aspect of my life. Never imagined I could live without it, even while it was destroying me. I found out 14 yrs. ago how little I needed it - and how self destructive it was causing me to be. You can do it, Alpine! We know you can.

Dee74

Great post Alpine - congrats on7 days!

D

Steely

I've found when I look my av straight in the eye it leaves with a whimper.

These are early days Alpine. You are right on track.

fishkiller

Once I recognize the AV I ignore it.
Never give it more than a half a second of my time.
This takes practice of course.

Early on I would play the tape forward.
AV says just one man! I say OK but what about after that.
AV gets quiet.
My rational mind takes over and paints a perfect picture of Exactly what happens after that.

NO Thanks

BornToBeSober

That's what I do too. I never try to argue with it because you can't argue with AV. The more I argue with it the more I seem to be able to justify drinking. AV wants what it wants. It can't be reasoned with.

What I can do though is either ignore it or play the tape forward and ask myself what will happen if I give in to the AV.

We all know the answer.

RecklessDrunk

Your thoughts are like a television you just have to change the channel.

Quickly think the drink through. Is it a good idea to drink tonight? No, onto the next thing to think about.

The AV may seem like its getting stronger but its an illusion. The stronger the urges the closer it is to running out of ammunition.

Don't drink before the miracle happens!

Alpine

Thanks everyone. I held tough and kept myself busy. In addition to my morning workout I did a 45 minute walk outside, then a Pilates YouTube video (Thanks Free!!), sewing, and laundry. I have decided..if you can put up with me I am going to use this thread as a journal so to speak to keep myself accountable. Yes, I can write in a journal as well but if in my mind others are reading it then I need to keep honest and focused.
The AV slowly disappeared, and I hope it stays away for a while. I know it will come back but I will continue to push it away. I like the idea of running the tape forward in my head. I have done that and it makes me think at the end if I gave in I would be more miserable.

Free2bme888

That’s an awesome idea. I have an ongoing thread here too, and my promise to me, even if no one reads it, is to post, no secrets. I had been less then stellar in early 2021, lying by omission of my struggles/decision to drink.

I HAD to do things differently this time. It’s been very rewarding.

PS. You are going to be SORE, in a good way 😍

Free2bme888

So for me, Queen Relapse visiting is NOT AN OPTION. OFF THE TABLE. NO LONGER INVITED. THOUGHTS OF HER ARE DEADLY, (love the TV analogy -change the effing station, not spending a minute on that channel ).

much love. 🤓❤️