FlyingDutchMan

Take a deep breath and let the people on this forum pull you through. It really makes a difference. You’ve made a great start with your sober streak. And if for some reason you slip, don’t shy away from this place and report right back. We’ve all been there, often more than once unfortunately. The support is pretty much unconditional.

Go Marit go!

marit3303

I feel extremely empty and depressed. I am worried that the thoughts that I would be better off dead than dealing with these issues are going to come back.

Surrendered19

Fight against those thoughts dearest Marit. You are so wise beyond your years to get this thing figured out at such a young age. Can you get some help with the dark thoughts? You have such a bright future ahead of you free of alcohol. Do everything you need to do to stay here. Don't disappear.

Dee74

Hi marit
if those thoughts get on top of you please do reach out for help.

There are some crisis phone numbers here and things to read.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html

D

Juve

Sitting with these feelings of emptiness and being depressed--for me, that's the hardest part of recovery. Sometimes, though, I find when I simply allow these feelings, instead of acting out, something will change inside me.

Sitting with you.

Let's all recover and heal.

Johannes

FlyingDutchMan

I am sorry to read you are struggling Marit, but this might be more temporary than you think when you’re in the middle of such a state of mind. It will pass and if it won’t, there are other options besides substance abuse.

Is there something you could do to take your mind off things for a little while? A long walk perhaps, something active that calms the mind down?

We’re rooting for you!

marit3303

It's the morning of day 5. To be completely honest I think the reason I've been able to abstain from alcohol these past few days is because I've been smoking more weed. However I believe that personally weed really helps my anxiety, and I'm not saying this to try to justify that I should keep smoking, because don't get me wrong I do need to quit weed at some point as well for drug tests for nursing school. But I believe that weed can sometimes (not all the time) be beneficial to my mental health. I also believe that it is damaging to my overall health, and I know I will be quitting that soon as well but I need to make alcohol sobriety my first priority. I tried to quit both alcohol and weed at the same time and it felt impossible. But that's just my experience.

fishkiller

Hang in there Marit.
It gets better

As Dee said, if you can't shake the dark feelings contact someone who can help.

The AV is telling you that life is not worth living without drugs and alcohol. That is BS.
Life is Much better without them but it is very hard especially at first.

We are here for you. Please stick around

marit3303

I wish I could go for a long walk, that is definitely one of my main methods of releasing energy. But I live in Wisconsin and it's literally 1 degree outside

fishkiller

Yeah winter sucks. I hate the cold myself.

As far as quitting weed and alcohol at the same time I believe that is the best way. Weed always dulled my judgment so I would get high and think I could moderate alcohol.That did not work.

I will say though that we are all different.
Maybe both are too much at the same time I don't know but my way of thinking is its gonna be hard no matter what so why not go all in?

You can do it.
Stick around, cry, scream, laugh whatever you need to do just don't drink.
Try to put down the weed too if you can.

This from a 52 yo man who did a lot of LSD, PCP, weed, coke, alcohol in his lifetime and does not miss any of it.
What I do miss is all the years I stayed in a drug induced fog while life passed me by.

This won't happen to you. You are so young and smart. At 19 I was a bad mofo who could do anything. At least that's what my doped up brain thought.
You however have the smarts and insight to see your situation for what it is. Use that knowledge and have a Great rest of your life.

AL48

Marti its like anything we start, unless we commit to what we want to do it won't happen. I did so much self talking for many years. Mainly to tell myself im not going to be able to do it so why bother trying. Do try and keep at it until successful, the beginning is the hardest and that voice gets a lot quieter and easier to tell get lost. Good luck.

FlyingDutchMan

Hey Marit, if it helps, there’s a dedicated marijuana section on this forum. I tend to hang around there myself, because I was a daily user for about 25 years. I’m trying to navigate a different course now, but I am still in the very early stages.

In the beginning, when I just discovered the forum I simply devoured all the threads I could get my hands on. It was so special to read that everybody kind of struggles in the same departments. Until that point I thought I was some kind of unique being who experienced using marijuana and getting off it in a way nobody did. Well, that turned out to be not true…

I wish you all the best for now. Stay in touch with us ok?

MrPL

Hi marit - it’s great you are on day 5, and it’s even greater that you said sobriety is your priority.

It will no doubt become easier to quit weed soon, just keep an eye that you don’t abuse it now, it’s easy to go down that road (been there myself), but it sounds like you are in control so well done to you!

Your life will change a lot for the better as you stay sober!

Dropsie

Its all about the decision, at least it was for me. You know your real demon, slay that first. Sounds like its drink, like it was for me.

Once you have slain one, the rest fall easier. If you try to do it all at once, most fail.

You got this!

Dee74

How are things Marit?

D

marit3303

Today is day 6. My mood disorder is raging, one minute I'm imagining myself dying and the next I'm manic and doing a million things at once. I just want to feel normal again.

Dee74

You will - but if you drank like me, you drank for years - it's going to take a little while for things to get back to normal.
Try and be patient best you can.

Better times are ahead

D

Triggered

Hang in there Marit...you're doing great. Take this one stage at a time. As long as youre moving in the right direction, you'll eventually get out of the woods. There IS an end in sight...you just need to keep doing the right things until you can see it.

fishkiller

Good Work on Day6

Things will normalize. It just takes time.

Keep up the good work

marit3303

Today I hit one week sober. I had therapy this morning and when I told my therapist this she teared up. Seeing the pride from my boyfriend and friends and therapist is very encouraging. I'm feeling okay today, but the stress of school is beginning to hit harder. i just hope I'm able to keep this up.