Free2bme888

What’s the point of only having a few? I drank to get WASTED, NUMB, ESCAPE. I believed the marketing, ‘drinking makes you sexy, more social, relaxed, outgoing, honest, etc’. What a bunch of horse manure.💩💩💩

Have you researched what alcohol is? It’s ethanol! I suggest looking up the nutrients and chemical compound of alcohol.

The book, Alcohol Explained doesn’t tout abstinence, it’s about good information, then you make your own decisions. Downloadable RIGHT NOW on Amazon. Highly recommend.


AVRT quick lesson online will take about 10 minutes. Good info also.

Best wishes on your journey of moderation. I spent five years trying, got worse every time, or caused so much angst because ‘one or two’ did NOTHING but cause more angst. The brain has adjusted to the poison, so tolerates and needs a LOT more.

People rarely drink less as time goes on in their drinking journey…..

Hodd

To be fair, a lot of us, including me, thought we could cut down. Even after I’d quit, I assumed I’d be able to have a drink on very special occasions. If anyone has ever quit first time, they’re very lucky. It’s the start of a journey that either ends in quitting 100% or a life of heavy drinking. You could save years by quitting now, but us drinkers/ex-drinkers are a stubborn lot. We think we’re different. Give it some thought as it’s clear alcohol has got you by the b****. It’ll always be the case until you quit.

DriGuy

That's quite gracious after all of us telling you that you can't do it your way. However, you aren't doing anything different than the rest of us when we decided to do something about our drinking. Recovery is a struggle at first, and then it's not a struggle. The reason its such a struggle at first is not because recovery is hard. It's just that struggling against recovery is HARD. And we've all done that. When you finally give in, it becomes easy. Life becomes easy; Granted it becomes easy in very small steps, not right away.

Willpower was necessary for me in the first week of recovery, because breaking through the craving was a horrible few days. Paradoxically, recovery is not about building willpower strength. If I had to resist drinking my whole life as hard as I did that first week, I never would have made it to a month. The paradox is that it isn't about willpower strength. It's all about breaking out of the addiction, at which time willpower is no longer necessary. This is why cutting back on consumption doesn't work for alcoholics. Cutting back, while reducing consumption, is still feeding your addiction, and just one drink revives that addiction to it's full strength.

Breaking the addiction is only the very beginning of recovery, and this is actually a critical stage. Now you can ease off on the muscle, and must use your brain. You will have to make choices based on an inner library of knowledge and facts you can gain from reading books, or even just hanging out in this forum.

People are right when they say recovery is not easy, but that doesn't mean it can't be fun. Watching your self confidence grow, and finding new ways to deal with problems, rather than drinking "at them", is a joy.

Unknownpleasure

Thanks again all for your amazing responses. I managed to stick with half a bottle of wine last night and today I'm feeling proud despite knowing I have a long way to go. I feel clearer headed today and slept better last night. As it is the weekend this will be a tougher challenge but I'm ready.

Hodd

Good luck tonight and this weekend, Unknownpleasures. What I like about this site is the lack of judgement. If you’re struggling, it might be worth having a vent on here.

I have an acquaintance who’s alcohol dependent. He usually keeps below the U.K. (arbitrary) 14 unit* weekly guideline, but the way he does this is quite pitiful. He’ll buy his 14 units on a Saturday and drink 2 or 3 that day, 2 or 3 the next until he runs out on day 3 or 4. Then he’ll sit on his hands every evening fretting until Saturday comes and the cycle repeats. He’s not only wasting his life, he won’t sustain that. He often goes way over 14 weekly units if there’s a good reason, and for a drinker any reason is good. All he’s doing is basically pouring petrol on fire by feeding his cravings, but his body will want more and more. That’s why I say I was so surprised when I finally quit and how much easier it was.

*14 units (a confusing and arbitrary U.K. system) is about 7 pints (20oz) of beer.

DriGuy

Yeah, I get it. It's like, "I blew a hole in my budget, because spent too many units last week. I always seem to buy the things that cost the most units," or "I decided to go on a diet and start counting units." Or, "Is that temperature given in Fahrenheit, Celsius, or Units?"

Unknownpleasure

Thank you and I totally understand and appreciate all the support here as it's amazing.

Unknownpleasure

I'm sad to say I failed at the weekend. Drank a bottle on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Back to the drawing board today. 🥺

Dee74

Many of us found that rather than moderate, we seemed to drink more to catch up.
Are you growing more open to the possibility of no alcohol at all?

D

Haris2014

Hi unknown pleasure, good luck with your journey. I would suggest giving sobriety a go, what have you got to lose? .you have given drinking a good go for years and you are unhappy with your consumption..so why not try sobriety for a few months and see how you feel then?

alcohol had a diminishing return...started off great when I was younger and only went downhill. even for normal drinkers eventually it takes your health your money and our power of reason.

sobriety is an appreciation return.. better health, wealth, friendships, relationships, general wellbeing and a much more controlled existence...actually start to live life instead of reacting from one drunken disaster to another.

good luck

Hodd

The rationale for 14 units seems very arbitrary. I used to think it was based on research of cancer cases, but I think it’s more of a guess. The UK could give a figure along with reasons why, but this hasn’t been done. In a country where alcohol is a fact of life, it makes sense to have guidelines. 14 units is quite a small amount. It’s not possible to keep below this by drinking every day. For normies, I think it’s a good idea. For my acquaintance, he’s struggling and needs to give up.

Surrendered19

Nobody on SR is surprised at what happened over the weekend Unknownpleasure. We've collectively been in your shoes a zillion times.

I hope you aren't feeling too rough today. What does this "drawing board" you refer to look like? Are you ready to give life without alcohol a try? I think it is time.

Can today be your Day 1?

BackandScared

As Surrendered and everyone else is saying, nobody ends up here without trying moderation, cutting down, special occasions, only the WEs, only outside the house, etc. i guess many of us also had a period when we were actively looking for stories of 'the moderators'. Many persons seem to be able to drink alcohol moderately (for us that means almost never, of course). I am sure, some exceptional humans out there have also managed to cut down heavy drinking to only special occasions/moderate consumption. However, I would bet a lot they are not around here, because we all try EVERYTHING before we try quiting. I wish your luck on whatever wherever this journey takes you.

Nonsensical

As I tried to moderate over and over again without success, I finally asked myself why it was so important to me to keep drinking some amount.
I didn't like the answer I got, but it was a much better question to ask myself than "How do I make moderation work?"
Best of Luck on Your Journey!