Seduced into taking a drink.
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Join Date: May 2021
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Seduced into taking a drink.
I realised something today, I realised that we can not give our lives away anymore to drinking.
After decades of 'very very heavy drinking', followed by just plain old 'heavy drinking' I stopped drinking in 2016 and did a year sober. (At that time I had not yet discovered SR ).
So there I was a year sober, feeling pleased with myself, little knowing that waiting for me was a drink with my name all over it. And it was a clever trick. One warm May evening I was invited to a beautiful concert of music played by a very famous Cellist. The audience was captivated, me included.
It was early Summer, fresh and glowing and warm, I was dressed up and feeling good. After a year of sobriety , healthy skin, a slim figure a world which seemed wonderful all conspired to create an illusion that everything was possible. In the interval the audience strolled in the gardens, people laughing and talking, enjoying the atmosphere.
Wandering over to the bar, with the intention of taking a glass of water, there sparkling in the sunlight was that glass of wine. Of course there was!
After a year of abstinence it seemed seeing an old friend or even a lover. I could see it had my name on it, waiting for me since I walked in the door. No encouragement was needed it felt as natural as breathing to reach and take it.
The very famous Cellist walked by me and smiled., I smiled back, and drained the glass before returning to my seat for the rest of the concert. That summer evening was May 10th 2017 .
It took Four years, four years before I realised that the drink I had on that evening would cost me dear. FOUR years later on May the 15th 2021 I raised my head from drinking maybe 3,000 bottles of wine, and stopped.
I will never be seduced into taking that poison to my lips again.... I do not have 4 years of my life to give away like that ever again. Don't be tricked into thinking you can have that glass or bottle or can or pill that has your name on it. You can't. We can't.
After decades of 'very very heavy drinking', followed by just plain old 'heavy drinking' I stopped drinking in 2016 and did a year sober. (At that time I had not yet discovered SR ).
So there I was a year sober, feeling pleased with myself, little knowing that waiting for me was a drink with my name all over it. And it was a clever trick. One warm May evening I was invited to a beautiful concert of music played by a very famous Cellist. The audience was captivated, me included.
It was early Summer, fresh and glowing and warm, I was dressed up and feeling good. After a year of sobriety , healthy skin, a slim figure a world which seemed wonderful all conspired to create an illusion that everything was possible. In the interval the audience strolled in the gardens, people laughing and talking, enjoying the atmosphere.
Wandering over to the bar, with the intention of taking a glass of water, there sparkling in the sunlight was that glass of wine. Of course there was!
After a year of abstinence it seemed seeing an old friend or even a lover. I could see it had my name on it, waiting for me since I walked in the door. No encouragement was needed it felt as natural as breathing to reach and take it.
The very famous Cellist walked by me and smiled., I smiled back, and drained the glass before returning to my seat for the rest of the concert. That summer evening was May 10th 2017 .
It took Four years, four years before I realised that the drink I had on that evening would cost me dear. FOUR years later on May the 15th 2021 I raised my head from drinking maybe 3,000 bottles of wine, and stopped.
I will never be seduced into taking that poison to my lips again.... I do not have 4 years of my life to give away like that ever again. Don't be tricked into thinking you can have that glass or bottle or can or pill that has your name on it. You can't. We can't.
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Join Date: Dec 2019
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Amazing post Dusty. Such a haunting post. The years and years this thing will take from us. I gave 30 years to it that I can never get back.
Thank you for reminding me I can never be done paying attention and being proactive about my health.
Thank you for reminding me I can never be done paying attention and being proactive about my health.
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Great post and so so true. I had 3 years of sobriety and was fooled into thinking I could take one drink. That was four months ago and it soon spiralled. I don’t want to go back to that life for anything but I know I have to remain vigilant. Thanks for posting
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Join Date: May 2018
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Read few papers that for alcoholics, a chemical called THIQ starts to accumulate in the brain due to specific genetic arrangements (hence runs in families). This happens only to about to 15% of drinkers.
Once this accumulates in the emotional center of the brain , it stays there until the person lives. THIQ is the one that causes a bio chemical reaction that makes the alcoholic brain prefer the poison over anything else. In short, I guess THIQ is what we call as the AV.
As one of the articles say, once we are a pickle there's no going back to a cucumber. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.
Once this accumulates in the emotional center of the brain , it stays there until the person lives. THIQ is the one that causes a bio chemical reaction that makes the alcoholic brain prefer the poison over anything else. In short, I guess THIQ is what we call as the AV.
As one of the articles say, once we are a pickle there's no going back to a cucumber. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.
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That’s unfortunately also my story fox.
In summary the main focus of my recovery now is to stop focusing on “why I could/couldn’t have a drink”, and instead just keep focusing on “I won’t have a drink whatever happens”.
This is genuinely simplifying the whole thing, screw the circumstances, I won’t drink alcohol just like I won’t drink from the dog water pot. I could, but I just won’t.
In summary the main focus of my recovery now is to stop focusing on “why I could/couldn’t have a drink”, and instead just keep focusing on “I won’t have a drink whatever happens”.
This is genuinely simplifying the whole thing, screw the circumstances, I won’t drink alcohol just like I won’t drink from the dog water pot. I could, but I just won’t.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
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Nice post, dusty. I still reckon there’s a glass out there with my name on it. If the conditions were “right”, say if we were tired or stressed and that drink was right there in front of us, it might be just too tempting. An uncouth hooligan like me wouldn’t be allowed into a cello concert, but it could be any situation, so we should be wary at times.
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Join Date: Oct 2021
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Only a trickster could convince you that the image you had of yourself on that occasion could only be complete by it's inclusion
beware the trickster he will seduce you to hell (he'll nick all your money in the process too lol)
beware the trickster he will seduce you to hell (he'll nick all your money in the process too lol)
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 109
Originally Posted by dustyfox 
I realised something today, I realised that we can not give our lives away anymore to drinking.
After decades of 'very very heavy drinking', followed by just plain old 'heavy drinking' I stopped drinking in 2016 and did a year sober. (At that time I had not yet discovered SR ).
So there I was a year sober, feeling pleased with myself, little knowing that waiting for me was a drink with my name all over it. And it was a clever trick. One warm May evening I was invited to a beautiful concert of music played by a very famous Cellist. The audience was captivated, me included.
It was early Summer, fresh and glowing and warm, I was dressed up and feeling good. After a year of sobriety , healthy skin, a slim figure a world which seemed wonderful all conspired to create an illusion that everything was possible. In the interval the audience strolled in the gardens, people laughing and talking, enjoying the atmosphere.
Wandering over to the bar, with the intention of taking a glass of water, there sparkling in the sunlight was that glass of wine. Of course there was!
After a year of abstinence it seemed seeing an old friend or even a lover. I could see it had my name on it, waiting for me since I walked in the door. No encouragement was needed it felt as natural as breathing to reach and take it.
The very famous Cellist walked by me and smiled., I smiled back, and drained the glass before returning to my seat for the rest of the concert. That summer evening was May 10th 2017 .
It took Four years, four years before I realised that the drink I had on that evening would cost me dear. FOUR years later on May the 15th 2021 I raised my head from drinking maybe 3,000 bottles of wine, and stopped.
I will never be seduced into taking that poison to my lips again.... I do not have 4 years of my life to give away like that ever again. Don't be tricked into thinking you can have that glass or bottle or can or pill that has your name on it. You can't. We can't.
After decades of 'very very heavy drinking', followed by just plain old 'heavy drinking' I stopped drinking in 2016 and did a year sober. (At that time I had not yet discovered SR ).
So there I was a year sober, feeling pleased with myself, little knowing that waiting for me was a drink with my name all over it. And it was a clever trick. One warm May evening I was invited to a beautiful concert of music played by a very famous Cellist. The audience was captivated, me included.
It was early Summer, fresh and glowing and warm, I was dressed up and feeling good. After a year of sobriety , healthy skin, a slim figure a world which seemed wonderful all conspired to create an illusion that everything was possible. In the interval the audience strolled in the gardens, people laughing and talking, enjoying the atmosphere.
Wandering over to the bar, with the intention of taking a glass of water, there sparkling in the sunlight was that glass of wine. Of course there was!
After a year of abstinence it seemed seeing an old friend or even a lover. I could see it had my name on it, waiting for me since I walked in the door. No encouragement was needed it felt as natural as breathing to reach and take it.
The very famous Cellist walked by me and smiled., I smiled back, and drained the glass before returning to my seat for the rest of the concert. That summer evening was May 10th 2017 .
It took Four years, four years before I realised that the drink I had on that evening would cost me dear. FOUR years later on May the 15th 2021 I raised my head from drinking maybe 3,000 bottles of wine, and stopped.
I will never be seduced into taking that poison to my lips again.... I do not have 4 years of my life to give away like that ever again. Don't be tricked into thinking you can have that glass or bottle or can or pill that has your name on it. You can't. We can't.
All lies, as an alcoholic and cocaine addict, since I can't control how much alcohol I'll drink the only thing alcohol really did was make me act like an idiot, say things I didn't want to, spend money I didn't want to, use drugs when I had no intention of doing so, drive drunk when I didn't want to, etc...
It's very important we realize the AV is pretty much all bs. It's just addiction trying to trick us into using a depressant drug.
We need to see through the lies so we can continue to remain sober and live the lives we deserve to live!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Excellent post, Dustyfox. I find these posts most helpful for me. I am almost 4 years sober and yet I realize how vulnerable I am at times to the call of the drink. The memory of the awful, demoralizing relapses that I endured for years before I got sober are my barrier to picking up again. Unfortunately the thought that I will never, ever experience the level of escape that alcohol provided creeps into my mind and I find it unnerving. That is why these posts help me keep my barriers strongly in place and safe from the horrors of repeating my alcoholic past.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
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Great post, Dusty, thanks. I hope I'm there, I feel like I am but in the back of my mind is always.... be careful, be careful. I don't know if that will always be there, but just being free from the desire to have a drink is enough for me now, but I pray to never be seduced, ever, ever again. I lost too much time last time, for sure.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by Gettingcloser
Excellent post, Dustyfox. I find these posts most helpful for me. I am almost 4 years sober and yet I realize how vulnerable I am at times to the call of the drink. The memory of the awful, demoralizing relapses that I endured for years before I got sober are my barrier to picking up again. Unfortunately the thought that I will never, ever experience the level of escape that alcohol provided creeps into my mind and I find it unnerving. That is why these posts help me keep my barriers strongly in place and safe from the horrors of repeating my alcoholic past.
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