3 years today but what a weird start
 

I’ve written before about my last drink (on a plane somewhere), but I had an interesting memory just now. I landed back in the UK on 2 January (2019) and had an appointment to pick up my first lot of Campril the next day. When I got back from the airport, I went to bed and didn’t wake up until around 6pm - serious jet lag. So I headed out to the shops for some food, but it was of course a public holiday, so they’d closed early. Luckily we had some food in the house, but I really reckon the shops being closed did me a massive favour. No prizes for guessing what else I’d have bought.

Over the next few days, a combination of jet lag and the placebo effect of my new pills (Campril takes about 6 weeks to work and reduce cravings) meant I didn’t drink. As my body clock normalised, obviously the evening cravings kicked in. Being prescribed Campril is a lengthy process which requires seeing a GP, counsellor and nurse and paying for the pills, so it seemed ludicrous to go through all that and still drink. I stopped the Campril after 5 or 6 weeks, but it or its placebo effect had done the job.

I had some big cravings over the next few months, but I think the most effective way to deal with this is to have no alcohol in the house.

It seems illogical that an ex-drinker like me can’t have “just the one”. A successful dieter can have that chocolate bar with no consequences, for example, but this is alcohol we’re talking about. The posters who post on SR about relapses after months or even years are very brave to do so, and I really have to thank you guys for that even though I find it painful to read. If I do have that “one” drink, there’s absolutely no doubt it’d lead to hundreds more and a return to the pointless existence I lead before.

And on that last point, that’s the big secret to all this. Not drinking will improve your life. Things just seem to work out although in reality you’ve made your own luck. You need to cherish and protect the new life. It’s too important to throw it away by drinking again.

🙂 HNY all.

Thanks for sharing your insights Hodd and three years is fantastic! As you say, there's no such thing as "just the one" for people like us. Drinking alcohol simply isn't an option in any quantity or at any time. Simple as that.

It does seem logical, but when you test this thought using the rules of logic, there is nothing logical about it. In this case, there is no personal experience or impartial data to verify this claim. But this false belief is helped along by the actual fact that we feel so convincingly well after a period of long abstinence. Our AV uses this to implant the idea that this is a logical thought, when it's not.

What we do have at our disposal is a huge library of the experience of others who have bought into the fallacy and failed. As much as I try to live my life logically, alcoholism forces me to make an exception, and I have to depend on information and the experience of others, either from what they tell me, or by observing their success, and of course, their failures. This is a rare situation where we have to rely on trust, or alternatively we have to touch the hot stove one too many times to create our own personal data inventory to guide us. I was lucky enough to rely on the collective wisdom of others, and decided I didn't have to validate the information on my own.

I always enjoy reading your thoughts on the subject. They make me think. Congratulations on 3 years. Congratulations on getting well.

Thanks, DriGuy. I’m a mere babe to sobriety compared to the likes of yourself.

But I honestly assumed 3+ years ago that I’d just give up for a few months and then be able to have the occasional drink. My GP didn’t say otherwise nor did a counsellor I had to see to get those Campril tablets. Mind you, would I have believed them if they’d said I had to quit 100%? The only place I’ve even seen in writing that a heavy drinker/alcoholic/dependent must quit 100% is SR.

I often bang on about GABA receptors, etc., but I haven’t got the medical knowledge to summarise this into a few sentences. I’ll try and do that this month as when I read it, it made it 100% clear how a drinker’s brain chemistry gets irreversibly altered, and after that, they (we) are programmed to relapse if we drink again.

Thanks for posting this Hodd.

To summarise it alcohol is the only area of my life where logic has failed, repeatedly and miserably.

The picture in my head remains that of the little angel on one shoulder vs little devil on the other discussion, but now there’s a big sign in the middle saying “alcohol is not debatable”.

Well done on 3 years, awesome mark!

Thanks MrPL, I like this.

I think it’s partly that we feel better after a spell of sobriety and then ego kicks in. If we’d beaten cancer or a similar disease, we’d have really beaten it. With alcohol, though, we’ve got to accept it’s beaten us. On this occasion, it’s great to be a coward 🙂

Congrats Hodd, on 3 years! Woot woot!🎊🪅🎉💫🎏🪄💥

Congratulations on 3 years!

(I'm one of those idiots that screwed up after 5.5 years of sobriety, thinking I could successfully control my drinking after years of sobriety. I was wrong and it took me a miserable year to get sober again. Don't do that).

No idiots here, Zebra, you’re one of the heroes we have to thank for posting about your bad year. Glad you’re back and sober, though. 👍

Hi 5uper, I haven’t nagged you about running for a few days. So … 🤣

Congrats on three years sober! :)