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I want to say sorry

Old 12-26-2021, 07:43 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by KittyMama00 View Post
Sasha, it gets better. Just don't drink. The self-hatred, shame, regret, depression, and anxiety is the mark of alcohol abuse disorder. If you can just stop drinking your brain and your body will heal, and you will love yourself and your life once again. Sending you peace, love, understanding, and most of all hope that you will give yourself the gift of sobriety.
Please keep us updated on your recovery progress.
Well said
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Old 12-26-2021, 07:57 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Sasha.
We are all given this day. No guarantees for anything else. Take this day and make it the best day you can with all that you have. This life is hard and beautiful and all of the in between. Today is the day for giving it your all. Wake up tomorrow and give it your all. Do the same the next day. Never be defeated, Sasha.
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Old 12-26-2021, 08:48 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I feel like this, more often in these days of anxiety inducing government pandemic chaos.
feeling by feeling, I suffer, I wonder, I don't drink but still the feelings persist.
learning to love myself is one of the hardest things
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Old 12-26-2021, 09:13 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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This is purely my opinion based on a cursory glance of a few threads. I’m sure the levels of stress due to this pandemic are worse with UK posters. I can’t comment on the USA, Canada, Aus or NZ press, but the UK media are an absolute disgrace. They’re really getting off on this piling on the misery.

I haven’t read any news or watched TV for a week. I cancelled my TV licence last month. In my car, I put music on as I’m not interested in constant drivel about you know what. Actually, I drove for two minutes on the 24th (raining/lazy) and accidentally had BBC radio on. What a surprise, it was a phone in about you know what. Put a sock on it, BBC.

I think we’d all fare better mentally by switching off the news.

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Old 12-27-2021, 05:01 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I just didn't think this would happen.
Ive just slept for over 24 hours - having strange dreams and not been able to fully wake up.
Maybe I'm not well physically.
I just wish i could have a break from my head and my thoughts.
I miss having something to take the edge off.

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Old 12-27-2021, 05:22 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Maybe your body just needs a rest. The rebound effect from having taken the edge off packs a nasty punch.

I’d wager none of us thought this would happen, a fact that may give you no comfort right now but may at least reassure you that you are in good company.

O
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Old 12-27-2021, 05:43 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Do you think you need to see Dr,Sasha?

D
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Old 12-29-2021, 04:46 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I think my body did need a rest.
I have not drank.
I can promise you all that.
I will be 10 years sober in Feb 2022.

I'm just struggling with me.
I guess the pandemic means I spend so much time alone.
I work from home 5 days a week alone.

I am grateful to have a job though.
I have had so many redundancies.

I get stuck in a rut with my thoughts.
I also have a really, really good memory.
It's a curse at times.
I think back to episodes and events with such crystal clear clarity.
I find it exhausting mentally.
Like an incessant chatter in my head that never stops unless I am asleep.

I have so many regrets. I'm not strong. I worry. I isolate because I don't want the normal drinker people i once knew to say look that's her, you know the one who did that.
I try distraction - films, activities but a lot of it feels forced because it's not what I want to do, its what I need to do to refocus my mind.

I often feel like an outsider.
Like I am always holding back something because I don't want people who did not witness the worse bits to know.

Thanks for all being here for me.


I know going forward, as long as I don't drink, I will never create more regrets as a result of drink.


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Old 12-29-2021, 05:28 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I did not think you were drinking

Like I said in another thread today Sasha - these are dark days but dark days will pass like any other days..we have to have faith in that.

As far as regrets and fears go - we spent so long living with those as drinkers, maybe it's time to think of new ways to look at things?

Maybe you can say, "I did those things but I am not the same person I was back then. I have nearly ten years recovery. I have a job, and a house and I am a great single mum.

The things I do today define me - not the things I did a decade ago."

hugs,
D
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Old 12-30-2021, 10:22 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Thanks Dee.
I know you are right.

I think the loneliness of the pandemic has made me really hyper aware of feelings like regret, sadness and guilt.
There are times when i am happy.
I have so much to be grateful for and thankful for.




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Old 12-30-2021, 11:44 AM
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It’s easy to get lost in negativity when you’re on your own a lot I think Sasha.
I find it really important to have contact with other people, even if it just in a cyber sense

SR is always open and you’re very welcome here anytime.

D
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