Detaching - what was your reaction?
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Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 55
Detaching - what was your reaction?
Did a loved one or friend detach from you due to your drinking/emotional unavailability? What was your reaction? How did it make you feel? Did it make you deal with your own consequences and/or have any influence on you deciding to get help/recover?
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Join Date: Sep 2021
Location: Central NC
Posts: 205
Yes, a few people did cut me loose when I was at my worst. One was a woman I was dating, and the other 2 were friends. 2 of them eventually did talk to me again once I became sober, but one stopped talking to me altogether. In active addiction, I resented them somewhat, but it didn't really impact my drinking one way or the other. The way I look at it in now is that it really wasn't intended to have an impact on me, but it was their way of protecting themselves. As one friend put it, "I can't stand by and casually watch you destroy yourself anymore." It took being in recovery to fully understand their side of it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Over a 30-year drinking career, I damaged and destroyed so many relationships. All of them really. As I drove people away and I became far too much of a liability to be around, I wish I could say losing those relationships pushed me to wake up and become sober. But that isn't the case. Instead, I blamed everyone else and was normally relieved that they were leaving me alone to drink.
The only good part of my relationship story is that there were people who still loved me after I became sober and, for reasons I still cannot fully understand, welcomed me back into their lives. I did not deserve it.
The only good part of my relationship story is that there were people who still loved me after I became sober and, for reasons I still cannot fully understand, welcomed me back into their lives. I did not deserve it.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,549
Some left me behind, but noticed that those who didn't no longer invited me many dinner parties. 
And now I understand. I wouldn't want me at the party either, and grateful to those who forgave me.
How audacious of me. Shame.
Deeper sobriety is allowing me to forgive myself now.
And now I understand. I wouldn't want me at the party either, and grateful to those who forgave me.
How audacious of me. Shame.
Deeper sobriety is allowing me to forgive myself now.
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