Sobriety2018

I have not had a drink in over 4 years. Literally 4 years! I have gone to bars, parties, restaurants, etc..and not had one drink. Lately, I have had the urge to drink. People do it right? Live normally, have a few drinks and go home. I remember what detoxing was like-living hell. Anxiety, insomnia, night sweats for a very long time. Idk i guess I just want to be like everyone else. Has anyone felt this way? Thoughts? Advice?

MythOfSisyphus

Congrats! Four years is AWESOME!

Dee74

Congrats on four years sobriety sober 2018

The problem is we’re not like other people.

Other people don’t have to try to moderate their drinking. They don’t have to deal with the obsessiveness of the next drink, or the secrecy of hiding our problem from friends loved ones workmates and bosses.

Often our addicted selves will try and argue that we’ve beaten our problem, we have control, and enough time has passed so that we might have reset ourselves, and we might be able to drink normally now.

Abstinence is not control. They are two seperate things.

I’ve accepted if I drink again I’ll pick up where I left off. I have enough raw data to know that’s true in my heart.

This is where you came in.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6698967 (Sober Day 8)

I think maybe you have enough data to know the truth too?

D

Steely

Yes, I have, Sobriety2018.

Had 5 years up once, and like you wanted to be like "everyone else". It went South pretty quickly, and took me a number of years to find sobriety again. I have, and I treasure it now.

Recently, at just on 2 years, had overwhelming compulsion to drink, this time born out of stress. It was a close call.

I played the tape both backward and forward Sobriety2018, and saw the impending disaster in 3D. I didn't act on it, and can't tell you how happy I was the following morning. Overjoyed, and further committed to remaining sober.

It's not what it's cracked up to be S2018. It's AV talking. And it talks bs. Don't buy into it is my advice.

Congrats on 4 years.

Kaily

Don't do it, the fact that you are having the urge for it proves the addiction is still there. Celebrate your sobriety instead. You have done amazingly well.

Gabe1980

Well done on your sober time

Honestly, it's such an achievement and I reckon would not be easy to reclaim, if you go back...

We can't have everything. Sober is better!

Reid82

Congrats on 4 years sober and yes what you're thinking about can be pretty normal. You have to keep remembering what alcohol did to you so you won't go back there again.

DriGuy

I felt that way before I quit. I do not feel that way now. My advice is to like being the guy who no longer drinks. Understand that sobriety is not a sacrifice, but a gift you worked hard for. I don't know for sure why I don't have that desire to be like everyone else. I guess it was because I was grateful to be off the merry-go-round. It's been 25 years.

DriGuy

You are not the forsaken loner you may think, because not everyone else wants to drink like everyone else. This includes millions of non alcoholics who don't drink because they don't see the point in it, and I'm betting there are more of them out there than there are alcoholics in recovery. We never hear their stories, because they don't come to forums like this, but there's a lot of them, and they don't appear to be complaining.

Zebra1275

Congratulations on 4 years.

Don't screw it up.

I was once sober for 5 1/2 years and thought I could moderate my drinking with just a beer or two.

I was quickly proven wrong, and ending up living through a year of hell trying to get sober again. Don't do that.

Free2bme888

OMG. Read relapse stories here and see if you can find one where a member was happy they chose to drink again, who believed they could moderate 😂.

I hope you squelch those thoughts with an extinguisher right now.

So glad you posted here. Hear that? That’s your soul begging for it’s life. Listen to it……

Anna

I think your brain is lying to you as it tries to convince you that you can do what 'normal' people do. Don't give up your four years.

least

Don't throw away your four years sober. That's great and it's not worth it to drink.

Sobriety2018

do you go to AA? I guess its the loneliness I experience sober. I dont have any friends or family that dont drink. Being sober has changed some of my relationships with some people I thought were good friends. Perhaps they liked the fun party version of me. I guess I dont have anyone in my real life that can relate to me and being sober.

Introvrtd1

Nearly a year in, and I’ve often had thoughts about how others (non alcoholics) can drink a few and stop. I mean, they don’t even seem buzzed.

Yes, I’ve also felt this way…For me, it’s all or nothing. So be it…has to be nothing because I remember the horrible withdrawals. The anxiety, insomnia, depression, palpitations, health anxiety, restlessness, etc… Never wanna go back to those experiences ever again.

Keep coming here for support! Lots of great experience here.

Surrendered19

I feel like that some times Sobriety2018, but wishing we could drink normally is enough to tell us we shouldn't drink right? Man don't do it. Keep your amazing 4 years of healthy, quiet, calm living and keep it going.

There is not a single instance that I've ever heard of on SR or in real life where a person reported being happy and content having gone back to drinking. It always ends badly. Some people lose years and years, or worse. And likewise, there is not a single instance I've ever heard of where people like us drink again and become normal drinkers. It is a pipedream Sobriety2018.

Stay on your amazing road.

Introvrtd1

Hevyn

Hi Sobriety!

Like Steely, I had years of being sober & then went back out for years. The innocent glass of wine I intended to have turned into many that night, followed by a total meltdown. That last time the damage was severe , & I had a very deep hole to dig my way out of. It can never be worth it, & it can never happen again.

Glad you posted - stay with us.

sugarbear1

I felt that way. Then I relapsed. I don't suggest relapsing. It's more difficult to get sober than to stay sober!

nez

All I know is that I have never woken up the morning after a night of not drinking and been disgusted with myself and filled with guilt, shame, and remorse. I can't same the thing about mornings after a night of drinking.