PhoenixJ

Prayers CB.
Xmas was always a trigger/excuse to ramp up drinking.
The thinking and emotions centre on my shared birthday in early January with my deceased bro..he was older. We (family) consented to his life support being turned off some 20y ago. He had multiple organ failure from drinking. Just to add to the mix, I had my being revived x3, from burns, from drinking.....and according to my other bro, I was in the same bed, in that same ICU as deceased bro died in.

So after a healthy period of sobriety, these accursed thoughts and feelings still plague me. Xmas and early Jan are a time of some sadness, but always with growth and slowly healing.

Kaily

CBS sorry things are so difficult for you at this time. That aside, congratulations on achieving your first year sober.

This time every year someone gifts me alcohol. Past years its mere presence in the house has literally driven me crazy, woken me up at night and caused me no amount of angst. So yesterday I was presented with a bottle of Prosecco and it has hardly bothered me at all. The alcoholic in me did check to see what proof it is, 11%, nowhere near strong enough so maybe that is why. But then in the night I had crazy thoughts of maybe keeping it as it is so low in alcohol and I am not craving it and sharing it with my Dad with Christmas dinner. That pesky AV really does try every angle.

I will be gifting it on today.

calmself

Signing off Day 34. No AV, no buzzing voices to buy beer. Good night from Seattle.

Willow00

I’m going to a work Christmas party tonight. It’s at a pub. I’m really not looking forward to it at all but it’s an obligation I can’t get out of. I’m designated driver, and I’ll be the only non-drinker. I hope we can escape early-ish. From past experiences with this company there’s always the drunken after party pub crawl. Ugh, I really really hope my partner doesn’t want to go pub crawling afterwards. He says he doesn’t want to now, but with the cajoling from others after several drinks he’s going to be hard to drag away. I have to remain vigilant and not let people twist my arm into drinking too. I know they’ll try hard to get me to drink. I know them. But I’m driving so I have a perfect reason to say no to drinks. I don’t want to go, but short of a sudden illness I can’t escape it. So I will take some deep breaths, hold my head up, put my shoulders back, straighten my spine and put my serene sober warrior smile on.
Wish me luck.

Kaily

Sounds awful Willow. Are you sure you can't stay at home? Good luck.

Mags1

Willow, good luck on the party. You don’t drink alcohol, same as you don’t drink bleach. Both can be fatal. There’s some fantastic sober drinks. Tonic water with a splash of lime is mine. Have you a favourite.

Kaily, I usually get booze sent me too. Gifting it on sounds a good idea. Weird how the av try to torment us.

Asthma played up in the night after a few days of allergic rhinitis. Fortunately I have my prescription rescue meds (steroids and antibiotics). Rest day today.

Love and hugs to all Weekenders xxxx

Kaily

Sorry your asthma is bad again Mags. It must be so scary to struggle to breathe. Hope you feel better soon.

Mags1

Thanks Kaily. It is a bit scary until I know the meds have kicked in. Keeping calm is needed when I can’t breathe. I don’t take any risks after learning from others and have experienced myself that you have to act quick. Thank goodness I don’t drink. I’d be in a right pickle if I did.

Dee74

Sorry the asthma is knocking you around Mags
I hope youll be home before too long Willow

Robbie64

Snap! I've had the same problem (my allergic rhinitis kicking in) though thankfully it hasn't progressed as far as causing breathing problems. Just lots of sneezing the past couple of days. I had to get a nasal spray from my doctor a few weeks ago as I was having some breathing problems caused by my allergic rhinitis kicking in. A few days of using the spray and I was fine. It looks like it could be back again. I wonder what is causing us both to have this problem again? It's not like the pollen is high outside.

Robbie64

Willow, can you not get out of the Christmas party? It dosn't sound like it's going to be fun for you and I'd be looking for any reason to get out of going.

Mags1

Robbie sorry you’re having problems with allergic rhinitis too. I wonder if there is something in the air. Who knows what we breathe in. Take care and wear a scarf(if you don’t already) if you need to go out.

Mags1

Thanks Dee, I’m getting there.

Willow00

I hope you’re feeling better soon Mags

Thanks Kaily, Mags, Dee, Robbie. I made it home! We didn’t go pub crawling afterwards, phew.
I drank cranberry juice and sparkling water and ate all the food on offer. I made small talk with a few people for 3 & a half hours and now I’m home, phew!
Thanks for your support

Mags1

Willow, you did great!

Willow00

Thanks Mags I’m so relieved. And exhausted! I haven’t felt this tired in ages. Bed for me, night night ❤️

Cityboy

Willow, was it different being the sober one and watching while others began slurring their words?

CBS62

Great that you made through Willow! Mags I hope you are feeling better!

I am about to pack and go the the hospital to see my mom. Then we hop on the train to head home tonight. This will be tough saying goodbye. I plan on coming back next month but I don't think she will improve. Still waiting on a diagnosis but at almost 89 I don't think there is much they can do. Cancer is somewhere. I adore my mother and I feel like I am in a bad dream.

Cityboy

Sorry you are having to deal with your mom being in the hospital CBS.

calmself

Hello weekenders! Good morning. Starting my vacation with creating list of things to do! Day 35 for me starting, max energy and sudden positivity. Let's keep it going.
Thought of the day: It does not matter how much anyone drinks. Alcohol causes cognitive dissonance i.e a fight between your good part that says, you don't need this to be happy vs the AV that says drink more. When this happens, it causes chaos/negative energy within ourselves