Rehab to recovery...
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Hey Gabe,
My mind tried (tries) to pull me into other compulsions as well. That's one reason I advocate a schedule in early days (months). It helped me tremendously to write a plan every evening for the following day. It wasn't anything over-the-top, and I didn't follow it exactly, but I did aim to approximate what I planned to do. I purposely chose some things that I wasn't going to worry about (food, for example) and some triggers I was going to avoid (no bedroom until 8pm as that was my drinking grotto, no 'addressing' particularly painful things from my past just yet). Sounds like a lot as I write it out, but it really isn't that complex. Every single day, do something productive, something enjoyable, and something to keep focus on recovery.
A particular red flag in your post was the mention of 'searching, checking.' If that has anything to do with keeping tabs on a person, that's probably the most important thing to eliminate/eradicate right now. Perhaps I'm inserting my experience into your story and I've missed your meaning.
You are doing great, Gabe. This after-rehab period was really rough for me. Doing ok overall is really wonderful.
O
My mind tried (tries) to pull me into other compulsions as well. That's one reason I advocate a schedule in early days (months). It helped me tremendously to write a plan every evening for the following day. It wasn't anything over-the-top, and I didn't follow it exactly, but I did aim to approximate what I planned to do. I purposely chose some things that I wasn't going to worry about (food, for example) and some triggers I was going to avoid (no bedroom until 8pm as that was my drinking grotto, no 'addressing' particularly painful things from my past just yet). Sounds like a lot as I write it out, but it really isn't that complex. Every single day, do something productive, something enjoyable, and something to keep focus on recovery.
A particular red flag in your post was the mention of 'searching, checking.' If that has anything to do with keeping tabs on a person, that's probably the most important thing to eliminate/eradicate right now. Perhaps I'm inserting my experience into your story and I've missed your meaning.
You are doing great, Gabe. This after-rehab period was really rough for me. Doing ok overall is really wonderful.
O
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,474
You are awesome O, just saying. 
s
And intuitive I am thinking.
I still do pretty much what you said every day: I set out a plan for myself, and even though I do not have to follow it exactly (sound familiar?), it guides my day and helps me to stay away from obsessive or generally unproductive thoughts.
As for food and shopping...I very much like planning out the week's meals in advance and organising my groceries....and having lots of healthy and awesome food here to eat.
I find that empowering, a direct contrast to the days when I could not afford much and alcohol was always the priority.
I am not a big shopper for me, but I do think we all deserve a treat every now and then.
And I agree with Dee and O Gabe: you are doing great!!! s xx ❤️❤️
sAnd intuitive I am thinking.
I still do pretty much what you said every day: I set out a plan for myself, and even though I do not have to follow it exactly (sound familiar?
), it guides my day and helps me to stay away from obsessive or generally unproductive thoughts.As for food and shopping...I very much like planning out the week's meals in advance and organising my groceries....and having lots of healthy and awesome food here to eat.
I find that empowering, a direct contrast to the days when I could not afford much and alcohol was always the priority.
I am not a big shopper for me, but I do think we all deserve a treat every now and then.
And I agree with Dee and O Gabe: you are doing great!!!
s xx ❤️❤️
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by Obladi 
Hey Gabe,
My mind tried (tries) to pull me into other compulsions as well. That's one reason I advocate a schedule in early days (months). It helped me tremendously to write a plan every evening for the following day. It wasn't anything over-the-top, and I didn't follow it exactly, but I did aim to approximate what I planned to do. I purposely chose some things that I wasn't going to worry about (food, for example) and some triggers I was going to avoid (no bedroom until 8pm as that was my drinking grotto, no 'addressing' particularly painful things from my past just yet). Sounds like a lot as I write it out, but it really isn't that complex. Every single day, do something productive, something enjoyable, and something to keep focus on recovery.
A particular red flag in your post was the mention of 'searching, checking.' If that has anything to do with keeping tabs on a person, that's probably the most important thing to eliminate/eradicate right now. Perhaps I'm inserting my experience into your story and I've missed your meaning.
You are doing great, Gabe. This after-rehab period was really rough for me. Doing ok overall is really wonderful.
O
My mind tried (tries) to pull me into other compulsions as well. That's one reason I advocate a schedule in early days (months). It helped me tremendously to write a plan every evening for the following day. It wasn't anything over-the-top, and I didn't follow it exactly, but I did aim to approximate what I planned to do. I purposely chose some things that I wasn't going to worry about (food, for example) and some triggers I was going to avoid (no bedroom until 8pm as that was my drinking grotto, no 'addressing' particularly painful things from my past just yet). Sounds like a lot as I write it out, but it really isn't that complex. Every single day, do something productive, something enjoyable, and something to keep focus on recovery.
A particular red flag in your post was the mention of 'searching, checking.' If that has anything to do with keeping tabs on a person, that's probably the most important thing to eliminate/eradicate right now. Perhaps I'm inserting my experience into your story and I've missed your meaning.
You are doing great, Gabe. This after-rehab period was really rough for me. Doing ok overall is really wonderful.
O
No, it not searching and checking on people, so much as planning, planning, planning! It's because I am moving and there is a lot to consider but some of what I have been looking at is just pointless!!
It's a big transition and it's just how my anxiety manifests itself, but overall I'm good
xxx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by venuscat
You are awesome O, just saying. s
And intuitive I am thinking.
I still do pretty much what you said every day: I set out a plan for myself, and even though I do not have to follow it exactly (sound familiar?), it guides my day and helps me to stay away from obsessive or generally unproductive thoughts.
As for food and shopping...I very much like planning out the week's meals in advance and organising my groceries....and having lots of healthy and awesome food here to eat.
I find that empowering, a direct contrast to the days when I could not afford much and alcohol was always the priority.
I am not a big shopper for me, but I do think we all deserve a treat every now and then.
And I agree with Dee and O Gabe: you are doing great!!! s xx ❤️❤️
sAnd intuitive I am thinking.
I still do pretty much what you said every day: I set out a plan for myself, and even though I do not have to follow it exactly (sound familiar?
), it guides my day and helps me to stay away from obsessive or generally unproductive thoughts.As for food and shopping...I very much like planning out the week's meals in advance and organising my groceries....and having lots of healthy and awesome food here to eat.
I find that empowering, a direct contrast to the days when I could not afford much and alcohol was always the priority.
I am not a big shopper for me, but I do think we all deserve a treat every now and then.
And I agree with Dee and O Gabe: you are doing great!!!
s xx ❤️❤️It's not for much longer and I'm lucky that I'm a healthy eater (when sober!)
One of the major things I've learned about myself in rehab was that drinking was just part of that compulsion or pattern. I can observe it coming out in all these different ways - the difference is now I have an awareness and a choice!
The planning sounds really good. I just bought a new diary and it's a New Year....the perfect time to start.
Thank you Suze....
xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Moving out and moving on.....
Got the first load of stuff out of the flat today. I never really got the whole thing about recovery coming before everything else, but I get it now
I don't know what will happen in the future with repairing my marriage or permanently separating, but I do know that in order to keep moving forward in my recovery, I can't live in the place and in the relationship I've been in the last few years.
I have no idea what I'm feeling right now.....the only thing I know is that this is the right thing to do.
Happy New Year my SR friends xx
Got the first load of stuff out of the flat today. I never really got the whole thing about recovery coming before everything else, but I get it now
I don't know what will happen in the future with repairing my marriage or permanently separating, but I do know that in order to keep moving forward in my recovery, I can't live in the place and in the relationship I've been in the last few years.
I have no idea what I'm feeling right now.....the only thing I know is that this is the right thing to do.
Happy New Year my SR friends xx
folks!!
Happy New Year Suze.....wishing you peace and all good things for the new year. Lots of love ❤️xxx
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Originally Posted by Gabe1980
That's a great way to look at thing O xx
xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
52 days sober and a very grateful start to the New Year.....
I move on Friday, start my new job on Monday and attend my first face to face home group meeting on Sunday....I have found so many Zoom meetings I like, that I am going to keep going with them too.
Anxiety is a bit of rollercoaster just now but that's okay. To be expected. I still can't believe all this has happened sometimes but at least now I can live an authentic life.
Love to you all today, whatever you are facing...there is a magic about the new year, with a fresh start and the potential for things to really change in life ❤️xx
I move on Friday, start my new job on Monday and attend my first face to face home group meeting on Sunday....I have found so many Zoom meetings I like, that I am going to keep going with them too.
Anxiety is a bit of rollercoaster just now but that's okay. To be expected. I still can't believe all this has happened sometimes but at least now I can live an authentic life.
Love to you all today, whatever you are facing...there is a magic about the new year, with a fresh start and the potential for things to really change in life ❤️xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,474
Amen dear Gabe ❤️❤️And just keeping putting one foot in front of the other, or, as my friend from NA many years ago said: Keep Your Head Where Your Hands Are.
That is what I do, or try to do.
s xxxxx
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Hold on tight, Gabe.
This is an awful lot of change for you all at one time, and is very exciting! I am a big fan of 'start-overs,' so I'm invigorated just thinking about your new adventure. You know that saying, 'wherever you go, there you are?' It took a really long time for me to internalize that - I think because I wasn't even able to recognize myself when I got there. I kept thinking that I'd see a new improved version of me, shiny and new, but learned that I had to do a lot of excavation to be able to begin my journey to authenticity. So worth it...
But let's get back to you. Do you have help with moving? Will anyone be able to stay with you over the weekend? I'm thinking that might be a mighty good way to keep the anxiety at bay...
Stoked for you!
O
This is an awful lot of change for you all at one time, and is very exciting! I am a big fan of 'start-overs,' so I'm invigorated just thinking about your new adventure. You know that saying, 'wherever you go, there you are?' It took a really long time for me to internalize that - I think because I wasn't even able to recognize myself when I got there. I kept thinking that I'd see a new improved version of me, shiny and new, but learned that I had to do a lot of excavation to be able to begin my journey to authenticity. So worth it...
But let's get back to you.
Do you have help with moving? Will anyone be able to stay with you over the weekend? I'm thinking that might be a mighty good way to keep the anxiety at bay...Stoked for you!
O
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Gabe, you're doing great. Moving and starting a new job are both very stressful life changes. Being sober will help to make those things manageable and hopefully enjoyable for you.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
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Keep your head where your hands are....
Wherever you go, there you are....
I love both of those and I'm going to add them to my wee stock of sayings that are helping me along every day! Thank you ❤️
Yes, lots of change. A bit scary....staying with my sister for a couple of nights before moving in on Sunday. She is just five mins away, so it felt like a goo idea.
I'm talking to my husband too, tomorrow. We haven't spoken in a couple of months and I'm not sure what he'll say but it won't change what I'm doing right now.....recovery first....then we will see about everything else.
Love to everyone xx
Wherever you go, there you are....
I love both of those and I'm going to add them to my wee stock of sayings that are helping me along every day! Thank you ❤️
Yes, lots of change. A bit scary....staying with my sister for a couple of nights before moving in on Sunday. She is just five mins away, so it felt like a goo idea.
I'm talking to my husband too, tomorrow. We haven't spoken in a couple of months and I'm not sure what he'll say but it won't change what I'm doing right now.....recovery first....then we will see about everything else.
Love to everyone xx
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