MaximusD

Great to see you took some steps to get back on track Gabe!

I was reading a little about the living amends thing. Seems interesting. It is the name of a recovery location but also steps like AA's?

Gabe1980

Morning everyone....thank you very much for the posts and feedback. It's great to hear about your experiences and thoughts about where I am just now.

It's been a pretty anxiety filled few days....I then realised that I was doing what I always used to do and was making my life/recovery a punishment exercise! I managed to tap back into who I am and what I want from life (not what I 'should' be doing) and that has really helped...

Staying with gratitude and optimism about the future, but also being alright with life being difficult just now....it's not going to happen overnight and I just need to do the work for today ❤️

Anna

Yes, Gabe, it's important to shift your thinking as you are. It's important to find things that bring bits of joy to your life as you recover.

venuscat

I so agree with that ❤️

Sitting on an outside swing drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows and watching the birds.....putting on gumboots and walking through the puddles like we did when we were little....reading a book in front of the fireplace until your nose gets too hot .....going for a walk with your mum....making dinner for your parents with a lovely setting and flowers.....

Just a few thoughts.

From the day I got sober I have made it a priority to find joy in my day. Most days I succeed. Life is pretty amazing.

s

Obladi

Hey Gabe, how are you doing today?

venuscat

Also thinking about you dear Gabe ❤️💚

Hevyn

And me.

Gabe1980

Thank you for checking in. I'm good, thanks. I'm feeling better everyday and my anxiety is starting to settle.

Trying not to force things but they are happening! I'm moving to a different area, to get settled and be closer to my siblings, niece and her kids. Think I got a job and house sorted. It's a lot of change but I can't go back to my old home or stay with my folks forever!
​​​​​​The area has a great recovery community and I know people in the area from treatment.

I'd still have a few weeks to have a break and work on getting my recovery routine properly embedded.

If you asked me a couple of months ago, I would never have thought I'd have been to rehab and be starting a new life!!

venuscat

It all sounds wonderful love. And brave. And we are all just so proud of you.
And although it might feel a little overwhelming sometimes, you just need to go one step at a time. s ❤️❤️

Robbie64

Gabe1980, good to read that things are going well for you. All the best.

Anna

You are taking on a lot Gabe, and you seem to be doing really well. Good luck with your upcoming move and job-hunting. You can start off your 'new' life sober and strong.

Dee74

Go Gabe!

D

Gabe1980

Thanks everyone!❤️

I know it's a lot and I almost bottled it last night but I was a bit scared. Then I realised that I have to keep moving forward....staying here in the temporary life is not going to help me in the longer term. Also, if either the job or the house don't work out, I can change it...I'm not tied in to either forever.

Sometimes we just need to take risks and have faith (and stay calm!!) Xx

Dee74

I think you’re right Gabe

D

Gabe1980

Thanks Dee x

DriGuy

I kind of understand this "punishment" perspective. Being that initial recovery is hard, it may seem like punishment. Obviously, you know this, but it's easy to slip into that mindset of punishment as a consequence of all your moral failures, and I'm sure you're AV loves that.

You are right to refocus you efforts on the positive goals that are gained from the hard stuff. Struggling is not punishment. It's a way to get to the rewards. When my cravings diminished to a manageable level, I can't remember one bad thing in recovery. It was all good, satisfying and rewarding. Sure, there were definitely bad things in my life, but I was able to compartmentalize, and separate the crap in my life (which is a given by the way) from the joy of being free or becoming free from my addiction. So even at the worst of times, I had something to be grateful for. And don't dismiss gratitude as some goody two shoes fakery. Recognize it and then cultivate it. It's a tremendous source of satisfaction and inspiration.

I don't know why had to write all that. You're there. I guess I just wanted to encourage you to keep it up.

DriGuy

An old timer I once knew used to advocate taking time to "be quiet." I liked that advice. Take some time to ignore all that chaos in our heads and, and just be quiet. You don't even have to focus on all your should dos and all the advice guys like me pump at you. Just be quiet and enjoy the silence.

AlbaSober

I used to anounce any series events in my life post-alcohol. I didn't have the confidence to say what I felt sober. My proposal to my wife. Her pregnancy etc and probably some other stuff.

Steely

You are doing great Gabe.

I like the recommendation (here) to seek the quiet. It's golden.

Obladi

I’m particularly proud of how I answered my own question about what I should plan to do when I feel a certain form of debilitating anxiety: nothing!

It has worked wonders for me.

Seriously