least

Their meals are always on time, and carefully prepared. With the exception of being out of commission right now, Billie always gets/got her daily walks, weather permitting. They all see the vet when they're supposed to.

When I was drinking, I was either too drunk or too sick to take proper care of them. The guilt ate me alive. I knew I was giving them short shrift but cared too much about drinking to change my ways.

What a difference now that I'm sober. They are clean and cared for and loved. They are well fed and Billie gets her walks. (not now since I can't walk her yet, but before I got sick, she got regular walks) and is in good shape physically.

There is really no way to measure the difference between then and now, except to say that I'm no longer consumed by guilt over my shortcomings.

It's the same for those who are raising kids. To give them the loving life they deserve and need is such a powerful motivator to stay sober.

Our kids and pets deserve us sober so we can care for them properly.

What's your motivation for staying sober?

Steely

I'm motivated by sanity, least. Each time I drink I become insane, like really. I must be a closet madwoman, which only sobriety can keep in check. And then, it's still a struggle. Oh, the very thought..... 😜

And as for kids: if I were to drink, my poor dear daughter would be in hospital with no chance of any real support from me, her mother. And I find this difficult because it's so stressful. She so unwell. I'd probably turn up half drunk and be barred from the ward.

And then I'd drink again out of guilt and remorse, and all would be lost. And I like the feeling of being found. Of finding myself.

least

I couldn't bear carrying around the guilt of knowing my drinking was making me neglect them. And felt twice as guilty cause they still loved me. Like I didn't deserve to have such sweet, forgiving dogs. I felt very small.

Thank God I don't have that burden to carry around anymore.

dustyfox

Isn't it wonderful Least, the way our pets love us, so unconditionally. They are such precious little beings. I hear in your posts how much you love and cherish your sweet dogs!
But what motivates me to be sober is being the best person I can be for my two children, (children I never thought I would have) but equally and as important is being the best person I can possibly be for myself. I realise finally life is too short to waste it staring into a bottle, thinking about a bottle or worrying where the next bottle will be.
It is a bonus for me that my two little cats are kind enough to stay with me and give me such happiness every day.

MythOfSisyphus

I hope you're getting better, @least!

least

Well I'm not getting much better, but am grateful that I'm not getting worse. It hurts my back but I can do some things myself so I'm not completely incapacitated. I'm glad for that.

VikingGF

I think the worst was one morning waking up and not hearing my dog and thinking I never let her in from the night before, and I panicked. She was inside, but that was it for me. This was long ago, in 2014, and I got sober for several months and was able to care for my dear girl properly before she passed, and stayed sober for quite a while after that. Now, I know I'm caring for my dog and cat better and giving them the love they deserve. But I'm sober for me, no one else at this point, everyone else just gets to reap the rewards!

Introvrtd1

Sadly my motivation for staying sober is the fear of paws, withdrawals, anxiety, and depression. Those are terrible things to have after a ‘fun’ and ‘euphoric’ night of beer bingeing. I didn’t care at the time…Those days n nights seemed so worth the horrors I was about to face in several days to come, back then ai think I was able to handle it…As I got t older, those horrors became more horrible, and those ‘fun’ and euphoric days n nights got less fun n euphoric.

Strangely I saw the handwriting on the wall…It was scary to see…Thought I’d quit not only for me and better health and well-being, but for those who cared and loved me. I wanted to also love them back and get healthy, get sober, and spend more time being in my family’s life instead of isolating in my man cave with copious amounts of beer as my only companion. Turns out, beer is deceitful and never loved me back.

TiredCarpenter

When I would go on benders our big dog (the one that seems closest to me), from what I’m told, would not eat for days.

She gets good affection and care these days. I’m grateful for that.

anxiousrock

This post couldn't have come at a better time. Thanks.

Surrendered19

Great post Least. It brings back so many horrible memories and renews my motivation to stay sober forever. The two creatures who had to fend for themselves when I was drinking were my two daughters. I struggle with the guilt to this day two years sober. But, that is all behind me now and I can't change any of it.

Again, thank you for the powerful post. Hits close to home for all of us.