Was doing well
Here and now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 334
Was doing well
Day 2 after a 4 month dry spell.
Started a new job that's been great, accepted on the firehall here for firefighter training, met a wonderful woman and Friday I went to my boss's restaurant, he put a drink on the table for each of us, I drank with him, but then I came home and drank into oblivion. Had no plans to do so, no noticeable cravings heading into it. Crazy how alcoholism works, I spent yesterday morning throwing up and then all day in bed feeling like hell.
I will post daily, and attend meeting again. No room to be complacent, scares me how quickly it can get ugly.
ugh
Started a new job that's been great, accepted on the firehall here for firefighter training, met a wonderful woman and Friday I went to my boss's restaurant, he put a drink on the table for each of us, I drank with him, but then I came home and drank into oblivion. Had no plans to do so, no noticeable cravings heading into it. Crazy how alcoholism works, I spent yesterday morning throwing up and then all day in bed feeling like hell.
I will post daily, and attend meeting again. No room to be complacent, scares me how quickly it can get ugly.
ugh
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 1,704
I'm sorry you drank Ekohe. Four months is a great sober time. I know exactly what you mean about how quickly things go downhill. Its happened many times to me. Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off and get back on that sober horse.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,582
New job, good woman, boss's restaurant. Four months sober. That was a difficult one.
I'm glad you have no compunction to return to the nightmare, you will lose everything you have gained Ekohe. That's been my experience at anyrate.
Be proud of your sobriety Ekohe. Feel strong in saying No.
I'm glad you have no compunction to return to the nightmare, you will lose everything you have gained Ekohe. That's been my experience at anyrate.
Be proud of your sobriety Ekohe. Feel strong in saying No.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
Congratulations on your new job, Kehoe. 
I'm glad you're back and working on sobriety again. Being prepared for things like someone putting a drink in front of you would probably help if that happens again.
I'm glad you're back and working on sobriety again. Being prepared for things like someone putting a drink in front of you would probably help if that happens again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
So drinking went about as well as people like us can hope for.
You made it home safely. You didn't mess things up with the new woman or boss/job. You feel terrible physically and mentally but your life is still in tact. Alcohol is a depressant. It did what its suppose to do. It makes you depressed. It can provide ease and comfort before it makes you depressed if its even doing that much anymore. Over time the ease and comfort gets diminished a bit so we may not even get that much out of picking up.
It's part of step 1. The deeper this conviction that we can not drink alcohol the better of a foundation we have to build a sober life. I think step 1 is the most important. By far most of the reading of the first 164 in the big book goes to step 1 vs any other step. The other steps make a sober life easier to live but any relapse I think is ultimately a break down on step 1. The delusion that it was somehow a good idea to pick up a drink. Many of us are not even delusioned any more that we can drink like other people just delusioned that the better option tonight was to pick up the drink.
It sounds like have you some good things to be grateful for and build a new sober life with. Today you have some tape to store and play foward for the next time the obsession to drink comes calling. Remember this isn't the bad tape, this is the good tape. The consequences of a drink don't get better they get worse.
You made it home safely. You didn't mess things up with the new woman or boss/job. You feel terrible physically and mentally but your life is still in tact. Alcohol is a depressant. It did what its suppose to do. It makes you depressed. It can provide ease and comfort before it makes you depressed if its even doing that much anymore. Over time the ease and comfort gets diminished a bit so we may not even get that much out of picking up.
It's part of step 1. The deeper this conviction that we can not drink alcohol the better of a foundation we have to build a sober life. I think step 1 is the most important. By far most of the reading of the first 164 in the big book goes to step 1 vs any other step. The other steps make a sober life easier to live but any relapse I think is ultimately a break down on step 1. The delusion that it was somehow a good idea to pick up a drink. Many of us are not even delusioned any more that we can drink like other people just delusioned that the better option tonight was to pick up the drink.
It sounds like have you some good things to be grateful for and build a new sober life with. Today you have some tape to store and play foward for the next time the obsession to drink comes calling. Remember this isn't the bad tape, this is the good tape. The consequences of a drink don't get better they get worse.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 411
fall down seven times...stand up eight... nothing previous matters anymore...all that matters is now
you had the good sense to post about it and that always counts for something and it shows you have another recovery in you
kudos for reaching out again... that's not always easy
you had the good sense to post about it and that always counts for something and it shows you have another recovery in you
kudos for reaching out again... that's not always easy
Here and now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 334
Definitely wasn't easy to reach out, but I am glad I did, and I'm glad I left it to one night as apposed to my usually few day benders. I am feeling much better already where it would normally take a week or so to feel better.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,337
Hi Ekohe
Kudos for jumping right back on
wonderful courage in that honesty. It’s cleansing and purifying.
You have a lot to be sober for! Practice practice practice. Just for that moment…..”That’s a nice gesture, but tonight I’m sticking with ___________ (water, club soda, ginger ale, etc). You’d be surprised at how a) the twinge urge goes away, b) others don’t care, and C) how darn GREAT it is to beat that satanic, toxic M effer out of your head and off the table……
Practice. Alcohol will always be around, we need to not engage in it. The life we deserve, we want depends on it.
Kudos for jumping right back on
wonderful courage in that honesty. It’s cleansing and purifying.
You have a lot to be sober for! Practice practice practice. Just for that moment…..”That’s a nice gesture, but tonight I’m sticking with ___________ (water, club soda, ginger ale, etc). You’d be surprised at how a) the twinge urge goes away, b) others don’t care, and C) how darn GREAT it is to beat that satanic, toxic M effer out of your head and off the table……
Practice. Alcohol will always be around, we need to not engage in it. The life we deserve, we want depends on it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,424
You were so wise to nip this right now with the one night. It is clear that any amount is incredibly dangerous for you, as it is for all of us too.
You are really making progress in the rest of you life and I am happy for you in finding work and a person to be with. Keep the focus on those good things and let the alcohol stay in your rear view mirror forever, from now on.
You are really making progress in the rest of you life and I am happy for you in finding work and a person to be with. Keep the focus on those good things and let the alcohol stay in your rear view mirror forever, from now on.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,937
Routine changes such as a new job are clearly a challenge for us. Be careful, folks. I reckon there’s a trigger waiting for all of us. There’s a drink out there with our name. The secret is to try and be one step ahead.
Thanks for posting, Ekohe. Hope it’s just a blip. Your boss meant well, but he shouldn’t have assumed you were a drinker. Have a quiet word in a week or two to say thanks and you’d happily go out again but that you’d rather not drink.
Thanks for posting, Ekohe. Hope it’s just a blip. Your boss meant well, but he shouldn’t have assumed you were a drinker. Have a quiet word in a week or two to say thanks and you’d happily go out again but that you’d rather not drink.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Ekohe - That's almost exactly how I finally ended my drinking days. I'd been sober 3 yrs. & threw it away without even thinking (on a date with someone who didn't know about my alcoholism). Unlike you, it led me into a nightmare, & years later I finally got straight again. I'm so glad you are back on track. If anything, it's further proof that we can't touch the stuff. Not a drop.
Congrats on Day 2.
Congrats on Day 2.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
You say that you plan to "attend meeting again." Does that refer to an A.A. meeting? If so, it might be worthwhile to reflect on what use you made of those meetings during your preceding 4-month dry spell. Here's what I was told to do from the start:
1. Get a home group and a service commitment.
2. Get a Big Book, read the first 164 pages, and highlight everything that jumps out at me.
3. Get a sponsor who has worked the steps and is willing to help me work them. Call my sponsor daily.
4. Get on my knees every morning and every night, asking God to keep me sober in the morning and thanking Him/Her/Them/It for keeping me sober every evening.
5. Attend at least one A.A. meeting every day for 90 days.
1. Get a home group and a service commitment.
2. Get a Big Book, read the first 164 pages, and highlight everything that jumps out at me.
3. Get a sponsor who has worked the steps and is willing to help me work them. Call my sponsor daily.
4. Get on my knees every morning and every night, asking God to keep me sober in the morning and thanking Him/Her/Them/It for keeping me sober every evening.
5. Attend at least one A.A. meeting every day for 90 days.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Thank you for sharing and returning to begin building
a strong recovery foundation to live your life upon for
many one days sober ahead of you.
Also, thank you for reminding me that there is no
place for complacency. If I ever let go of my recovery
lifelines and my recovery guideline that I continue
to pattern my life after, then I may end up drunk,
crazy or dead.
31 yrs sober here and today I hang onto it tightly with
respect because it is the gift that keeps on giving me
life each and every single day.
a strong recovery foundation to live your life upon for
many one days sober ahead of you.
Also, thank you for reminding me that there is no
place for complacency. If I ever let go of my recovery
lifelines and my recovery guideline that I continue
to pattern my life after, then I may end up drunk,
crazy or dead.
31 yrs sober here and today I hang onto it tightly with
respect because it is the gift that keeps on giving me
life each and every single day.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
That is a tough one Ekohe. Might I observe that it is extremely obnoxious behavior to buy anyone any sort of drink and presumptuously set it down in front of them? What a dick move on your boss's part. But I digress.
I'm glad you made it back out so quickly. I guess it can happen just that fast. We don't drink anymore my friend. It sounds like you have so many great things happening and booze will only take all that away from you.
Stay strong Ekohe.
I'm glad you made it back out so quickly. I guess it can happen just that fast. We don't drink anymore my friend. It sounds like you have so many great things happening and booze will only take all that away from you.
Stay strong Ekohe.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
I’m glad you made it back Ekohe.
there’s been a couple of times when I’ve Had drinks put down in front of me. The important thing is not to panic, and to remember the mantra - it’s the first drink that gets me, not the last one.
Regardless of the other persons motivation, regardless of their power or position, I have to be self motivated enough, invested in my own happiness and my own beliefs enough to say no thanks.
If they take that badly that’s on them, Ekohe, not you.
i’m glad you have good things going on in your life - don’t sabotage those things by drinking man!
D
there’s been a couple of times when I’ve Had drinks put down in front of me. The important thing is not to panic, and to remember the mantra - it’s the first drink that gets me, not the last one.
Regardless of the other persons motivation, regardless of their power or position, I have to be self motivated enough, invested in my own happiness and my own beliefs enough to say no thanks.
If they take that badly that’s on them, Ekohe, not you.
i’m glad you have good things going on in your life - don’t sabotage those things by drinking man!
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Drinking doesn't define who we are. Doesn't make
the man nor the women. Instead, it is the person within.
The type of person we want to be and will become.
Being drunk and sick in heart, mind and soul is not
it.
Surround yourself with like minded folks and continue
to listen, learn, absorb and apply lessons on knowledge
of addiction and recovery to maintain a sober life achieving
what so many already are with health, happiness and
honesty.
the man nor the women. Instead, it is the person within.
The type of person we want to be and will become.
Being drunk and sick in heart, mind and soul is not
it.
Surround yourself with like minded folks and continue
to listen, learn, absorb and apply lessons on knowledge
of addiction and recovery to maintain a sober life achieving
what so many already are with health, happiness and
honesty.
Here and now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 334
Thank you everyone, I am very grateful I stopped it at the one night but am still disappointed.
Completely right on the never letting my guard down, again it wasn't planned or craved and it just led to oblivion. I can't get complacent either, I have had a bad habit of that. Time to kick that habit, get over this slip up and get back on track as I have so much to look forward to.
Thank you for the advice and for always being a place I can turn to, even at my lowest. Beyond grateful for you all.
Completely right on the never letting my guard down, again it wasn't planned or craved and it just led to oblivion. I can't get complacent either, I have had a bad habit of that. Time to kick that habit, get over this slip up and get back on track as I have so much to look forward to.
Thank you for the advice and for always being a place I can turn to, even at my lowest. Beyond grateful for you all.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
