Checking in and saying hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 234
Checking in and saying hello
I started a new chapter and I'm currently 34 days sober. I was doing really well and completely lost control and had to check into a 30 day inpatient program. It started with a few drinks and then before I knew it I was knee deep in Jim Beam again and couldn't put it down. I was drinking myself to death.
Two hospital visits and I'm grateful and lucky to be alive. The inpatient program went extremely well but its only the beginning. I was letting everything get to me, both small and large, and going straight to the alcohol for the solution to everything. The inpatient program included the gym 3 times a week so I am re-focusing my energy on getting into shape. We focused a ton about staying in the moment and focus on today. That's extremely difficult for me to do but I'm trying my best to practice that.
I'm living with my dad and helping him now. I also know I have to take care of myself as well. I start an outpatient program on Monday that will be during the week and on Saturday's. I'm grateful to have time with my dad to be there for him and be sober.
I have to work on this every single day. I let my guard down and it turned out to be a disaster. I thought I could do it alone, but I personally don't think its possible.
Hope everyone is doing well and I'll be posting on here a lot more often. It helps to get it out.
Two hospital visits and I'm grateful and lucky to be alive. The inpatient program went extremely well but its only the beginning. I was letting everything get to me, both small and large, and going straight to the alcohol for the solution to everything. The inpatient program included the gym 3 times a week so I am re-focusing my energy on getting into shape. We focused a ton about staying in the moment and focus on today. That's extremely difficult for me to do but I'm trying my best to practice that.
I'm living with my dad and helping him now. I also know I have to take care of myself as well. I start an outpatient program on Monday that will be during the week and on Saturday's. I'm grateful to have time with my dad to be there for him and be sober.
I have to work on this every single day. I let my guard down and it turned out to be a disaster. I thought I could do it alone, but I personally don't think its possible.
Hope everyone is doing well and I'll be posting on here a lot more often. It helps to get it out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Aw, Athens, we wondered where you went. I'm glad you've gotten some help and you're back.
Stick with us. It gets easier to stay in the moment but I think we all struggle with that!
I had this on a note on my refrigerator for a while:
If I'm living one-half-second in the future or one-half-second in the past I'm living in illusion and illusion is the Province of fear.
Stick with us. It gets easier to stay in the moment but I think we all struggle with that!
I had this on a note on my refrigerator for a while:
If I'm living one-half-second in the future or one-half-second in the past I'm living in illusion and illusion is the Province of fear.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
The addiction is for life. It is all about dopamine etc.
I have to find things that get me high on life.
My go to is exercise.
As my clean days clicked up, my need for the high decreased and other things work to keep me content throughout the day.
Now pretty much anything works.
Last night was a rock show. This guy in front of us was acting like a selfish jerk, drunk or stoned. Swinging his arms wildly, causing stress to people around him. He later sat down and fell asleep in his chair. So sad. Addiction is insanity. Anyway...
Right now I am enjoying coffee and reruns of the Adam's Family.
By any means.
Stay clean.
Suffering and time.
Thanks.
I have to find things that get me high on life.
My go to is exercise.
As my clean days clicked up, my need for the high decreased and other things work to keep me content throughout the day.
Now pretty much anything works.
Last night was a rock show. This guy in front of us was acting like a selfish jerk, drunk or stoned. Swinging his arms wildly, causing stress to people around him. He later sat down and fell asleep in his chair. So sad. Addiction is insanity. Anyway...
Right now I am enjoying coffee and reruns of the Adam's Family.
By any means.
Stay clean.
Suffering and time.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
I have to work on this every single day.
Yes you do. Early sobriety is like that.
It gets much easier with the passage of time. I'm coming up on 12 years sober in the spring, which I'm sure is difficult for you to imagine. But I've been where you are, I used to keep track of my sober time in hours and would feel good if I could make it to 100 hours (for the math challenged, that's just over 4 days).
In the past year, I can count the number of times I felt like drinking on one hand. Actually, I don't even need to use my fingers, the answer is zero. That kind of boggles my mind when I think of where I came from. And you can get to this point too!
Yes you do. Early sobriety is like that.
It gets much easier with the passage of time. I'm coming up on 12 years sober in the spring, which I'm sure is difficult for you to imagine. But I've been where you are, I used to keep track of my sober time in hours and would feel good if I could make it to 100 hours (for the math challenged, that's just over 4 days).
In the past year, I can count the number of times I felt like drinking on one hand. Actually, I don't even need to use my fingers, the answer is zero. That kind of boggles my mind when I think of where I came from. And you can get to this point too!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Hi, AthensDawgs. It's so good to have you here.
Congratulations on your 34 days. I did the same thing years ago - let my guard down, with disastrous results. It was so hard to get free again that last time. We did it, though. Keep on reading & posting. You're doing this.
Congratulations on your 34 days. I did the same thing years ago - let my guard down, with disastrous results. It was so hard to get free again that last time. We did it, though. Keep on reading & posting. You're doing this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 234
Originally Posted by Steely 
How you doing AthensDawgs?
He won't say it out loud, but I know he doesn't trust me right now. We went back and forth regarding certain things and instead of supporting, it was quite frankly the exact opposite, so that was a struggle. I ended up going to the meeting last night that was 30 minutes away because its what I needed to do.
I've given up trying to let what others do/don't do bother me. If my dad wants to continue to be negative, there's really nothing I can do about it. I am going to continue to be positive. What I can do is control what I do and do the right things like going to meetings and be involved. I'm trying to take care of myself and not have anyone interfere with that.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Yes, continue to be positive despite the negativity. Continue to do what is best for you despite what others think.
The approval that you have for yourself is the most important. Onwards and upwards to a life free from active alcoholism. You got this!
The approval that you have for yourself is the most important. Onwards and upwards to a life free from active alcoholism. You got this!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,417
Welcome back, Athens, and congrats on your sober time. Yes, all that matters is that we don't drink, so the negativity can't bother us or we need to do what we can to keep it at bay. Good for you taking a break. Remember too, dementia takes away part of our loved one, so some of the behavior you're seeing from your dad just isn't 100% him any longer. As sad as that is, maybe it can help you separate from his negativity. Stay strong.
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