First month dry (mostly)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Congratulations on going through a whole month with barely drinking save for the beer. Congratulations on breaking out of poverty.
I have to agree with the others that attempting moderation would not be my option. A lot of areas in my life improved dramatically when I quit drinking including my health, career and finances. If I'd tried to moderate, I would have ended up in full blown drinking again, and my slide downhill would have continued. In fact, I did try to moderate many times before I quit 100%.
There was no one in my life who helped or cared either. My family knew I was a heavy drinker but normalised it. Anyway I lived far away from them then. My relationships were transient because I couldn't let anyone too close to me, in case they realised how much I drank. Alcohol also helped spoil a couple of promising relationships. Social distancing was my specialty before it became a thing.
Alcohol was by my side for about 15 years by then. It was scary to dump it because there were holes to fill. Like the evenings you mentioned. But I knew I had to be done with it for everything to get better and so I worked through it. Filled my evenings with exercise, reading and SR. It worked. Wasn't easy but it worked.
I had to wait for socialising to feel normal again. That took several months, if I am honest. Possibly close to a year, because I wouldn't stay long at events where people drank a lot.
I started a relationship about 1.5 years into sobriety and that has continued, it's now the steadiest relationship I've been in since my early thirties, from when alcohol began to take over my life.
Whether you have lots of people around you or like me, you are pretty much alone, quitting 100% is a decision only you can take. And only you can do the work to achieve it. No one else can actually help. It would feel like interference anyway, to an alcoholic.
Sorry for the long post. You sound like you've already achieved a lot on the financial front. It's sounds promising. Doesn't sound like something you'd want to throw away.
I have to agree with the others that attempting moderation would not be my option. A lot of areas in my life improved dramatically when I quit drinking including my health, career and finances. If I'd tried to moderate, I would have ended up in full blown drinking again, and my slide downhill would have continued. In fact, I did try to moderate many times before I quit 100%.
There was no one in my life who helped or cared either. My family knew I was a heavy drinker but normalised it. Anyway I lived far away from them then. My relationships were transient because I couldn't let anyone too close to me, in case they realised how much I drank. Alcohol also helped spoil a couple of promising relationships. Social distancing was my specialty before it became a thing.
Alcohol was by my side for about 15 years by then. It was scary to dump it because there were holes to fill. Like the evenings you mentioned. But I knew I had to be done with it for everything to get better and so I worked through it. Filled my evenings with exercise, reading and SR. It worked. Wasn't easy but it worked.
I had to wait for socialising to feel normal again. That took several months, if I am honest. Possibly close to a year, because I wouldn't stay long at events where people drank a lot.
I started a relationship about 1.5 years into sobriety and that has continued, it's now the steadiest relationship I've been in since my early thirties, from when alcohol began to take over my life.
Whether you have lots of people around you or like me, you are pretty much alone, quitting 100% is a decision only you can take. And only you can do the work to achieve it. No one else can actually help. It would feel like interference anyway, to an alcoholic.
Sorry for the long post. You sound like you've already achieved a lot on the financial front. It's sounds promising. Doesn't sound like something you'd want to throw away.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,951
I have moderated all thru my drinking life. I started around like 10 - 14 standard drinks a week back in 2010 and until last month it's about 8-10 a week (sometimes less, rarely more). But it's a big headache - It's VERY hard for a 165 lb man to stop at 2 or 3 beers because there's simply no effect, the sole purpose as to why I drink. The only way to get that effect is to go a bit more (4 to 5 drinks) and I feel it's not good for me in the long run. I am slowly trying to move away from this whole moderation business.
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