SIX MONTHS, Alcohol Free
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Seeking a peaceful state of mind
Posts: 99
SIX MONTHS, Alcohol Free
Hi,
Today, I have gone without alcohol for 180 days, 6 months "in the can," as we would say when I worked in broadcast. To be honest, I never thought that I would make it this far. I have sincerely tried to remember the last time I went this long without any alcohol and I believe it would have been back in my early 20s. If that is correct, that is 30 years ago, wow. I wish that I was happy and on fire, beaming with life and energy and taking on my new life with zest and vigor. That isn't exactly true, as I have been more depressed in the last month or so than I have been in perhaps over a decade. This is not what I was expecting.
To be fair, I know that I have accomplished something really positive for my life. My doctor, whom I've been with for over 10 years, has said with glee, "That's pretty good!" Looking at those written words, they are fare more banal than the smile on his face and the upbeat way he said it. I chuckled, but didn't really say much more than I still feel like crap most days. Oh, I do notice many little things that add up to a greater sum, such as food tasting so much better, my sense of smell is reborn, looking at the sunset without thinking about going out to the store for more beer and wine before it gets too late, not going to work miserably hung over day after day after day.., lots of things like that. I notice that some of my hair on my head is coming back in, although gray it is. -another chuckle.
Strange things have happened to the old bod in the years of abusive drinking. I suppose I could get in trouble with TMI -too much information, but they are medical facts. I used to have a hairy chest, which would scare off some girls that I dated, but then after a bare-chested hug, they said I was like a big teddy bear. My chest hair is all gone, but a little up high, my belly, fat such that it is, is smooth like when I was boy. Weird. Sorry about the TMI, but my testicles have shrunken, no, I'm not saying I was some stud, just anatomically very average, but these days, I look in the mirror when I come out of the shower and think, "dear God!, what have I done." You'd think I just got out of an ice cold pool! I am sort of laughing about it now, well, sort of. The weight gain, and loss of muscle mass is sad, but I know I can fix that to some extent.
One thing I do appreciate is that my mind is so clear, it's almost too clear, almost like I can't shut it down long enough for any peace. I think I was always ADD, but now I am even more easily distracted.
-OOH, shiny!!!
It's as if I'm almost hyper prescient and my little voice is so much more clear, perhaps both a good and bad thing. There are other physical oddities. When my distal edema (swelling in the feet ankles and calves) gets bad, I feel like I'm walking on painfully over-inflated balloons. My 5 year old asked me one day, "Daddy, are you feet going to pop?" I said, "I hope not buddy." He's the sweetest and most gentle and sharing little boy I've ever known. Too bad I missed out on so much of my daughter's earlier years.
So, why even post this if I'm going to meander in the dark side of being an alcoholic with cirrhosis, I ask myself. I know that I do need to focus on the positive, but I feel that sharing it all is better. Truth is, I don't really have anyone to talk to, other than my counselor, who is awesome, but it's not the same. I've always been a bit of a loner, but I have had some good friends. Most of them have faded over time and distance. I seem to have a harder time now letting people in than before, when I was half-schwacked all the time. I used to fly a lot for my job and thinking back on how much beer and wine I drank on those trips, I don't know how I made it on the airplanes and through security with such dragon breath. I was never "tipsy" or sloppy if you will. Over time, I learned to maintain and was highly functional, drunk and hung over. I wish my marriage was better; we don't fight, we just coexist, like roommates. My counselor calls it LAT, "living alone together."
I've made it 180 days. I say that to myself and it feels odd and surreal. I saw my doc last week and he doubled my lasix for the edema. Damn that stuff works! But when it hits, it's like a lightning storm hit my bladder, and I gotta PEEEEEEEEEE!!! It's like nothing I've ever felt, but the swelling goes down over a few days and I can go back to the regular dose. Boy, that stuff causes headaches, the kind that make you want to beat your head against a wall to make it better. Then there is the muscle cramps -charlie horses that make me scream out loud. And not just in my legs, mind you, but in my feet -curling into weird positions, sometimes in my hands, that seem to have a mind of their own and want to curl up backwards, as if God himself was trying to pry them off whilst holding my wrist down. I even got a muscle spam in my neck one time. It ran down my torso and up into the side of my face. I was howling in pain and hunched crooked-ways, like Quasimodo without the hump. My face scared my kids! Okay, now I'm laughing.
Oh boy, what have I done? What have I done?
I asked my Doc, well I tried to ask my Doc, but it wasn't quite coming out right, something like, "I know it's been only nearly 6 months and, but, is it... well, possible, will my body continue to... I know I drank for thirty years, but..," ore stammering, then he interrupted, "You mean, could you heal more and eventually get along without all this stuff?" "Yes!," he said. His volume jumped up quite a bit when he said that. And again, he said, "YES!, absolutely." To which I said, "I've been feeling so poorly these past few weeks, that I'm worried that my liver is de-compensating." (When one has cirrhosis, the liver can "compensate" -real medical term, for an indefinite period and then one day suddenly go south and leave the patient in a bad spot, to say the least. His answer was, and I won't try to quote him, that it could de-compensate at any time, he said that he's had patients that quit drinking and were fine for years and then suddenly, their livers failed, their bodies broke down, and they died. And others, that died right away after quitting, and still others that have been going strong for many years and live happy and normal lives. He asked me to focus on getting healthier, getting the weight off, eating a low salt diet, which he acknowledged is really hard to do. He said that I need to get moving, walking, something to get going again. He also doubled my testosterone replacement dose to see if I would notice more of a difference. More on that in a bit. As he wrapped up and I was getting ready to leave the exam room, he leaned out the door and said to his nurse,"We need to order some blood work for Mr. Vano. The nurse said, "What do you want to order?" he answered, "Everything." "Plus the ammonia." I really did chuckle then.
On the testosterone, low "T" as they call it. It is common among male alcoholics. Mine tested a little low, but low enough that the my Doc thought it would help me, give me a boost, if you will. I had been getting the shot in my thigh once a month, but now, it's twice a month, meaning too office visits and too bills. So just this past Friday, I finally worked up the nerve to inject myself with it. -Yikes!!! I HATE needles! I must have watched half a dozen U-tube videos on how to do it, even though the nurse had showed me a couple times. There I was, in my office, with all the kit laid out, needles, alcohol pads, syringes, it looked like was prepping for surgery. I finally worked up the courage and stuck that thing in the meat of my upper thigh. It wasn't that bad. But you're supposed to pull back on the syringe a little after the needle is in to make sure you didn't hit a vein. When I did that, I moved the needle from side to side a bit, as I was nervous. YOW! that hurt! I got done though and it felt good to overcome such a tiny fear. Maybe next time I'll go for an office visit, ha-ha.
Now that I have wandered all over with this post. There are some things I want to say and share. This is very emotional for me. First, finding this forum and through it, finding the book Alcohol Explained, by William Porter are truly what I believe helped me turn that corner, make that decision, and this time stick too it. I do not know if I will make it to a year, heck, I don't even know if I will live that long. What I do know is that I am so much better for living life without alcohol. Let me repeat that, living life WITHOUT alcohol. It's not living life, losing, or having lost alcohol. It was never my friend to begin with. I used to worry what life would be like without my precious red wine. But I also used to imagine and dream about living sober, thinking, "one day, one day I'll quit." I used to dream about that one day when I could look back on quitting many years ago and feel happy. I guess I still do dream about it, but now, at the very least, I know that I can live without it. I really can! Giving up alcohol was hard, but it wasn't so hard as I thought it would be.
I have a long way to go. My body continues to heal. My mind continues to clear. I have more hope than ever in spite of the negative things happening right now. Dear God, I remember those days of being so hung over, racked with pain and gulping down drinks to get enough of a buzz to quell my shaking hands and numb my throbbing head. I also remember how nasty I could be with my wife when I was hung over; that is truly sad. No matter what happens with the marriage, and all the other things that really are just part of life, that's just what they are. I know that I do have more hope than ever when I stop beating myself up about the past and allow my heart, the deepest parts of me, to feel that hope.
I have no idea if what I have posted here could help anyone, but I would be very happy to learn that it did. Even if my words give someone the strength to choose not to drink for one more day, that would be wonderful. Please stop. I don't want to lay out platitudes, I just want to say: Please stop, please don't drink. It's a choice.
I also and most sincerely want to thank everyone here who has chimed in and encouraged me. I am sorry that I don't post more often. I do find it hard at times to open this emotional can of worms, but I will post again.
Thanks,
Max
p.s.
To JADIII, so sorry we can't figure out a way to get each other our contact info. I kind of gave up for a while because it makes no sense to keep sending email accounts when they get blocked. Not sure what to do about that, but I sure wish I could talk sometime, maybe even cry a bit, maybe laugh.
Today, I have gone without alcohol for 180 days, 6 months "in the can," as we would say when I worked in broadcast. To be honest, I never thought that I would make it this far. I have sincerely tried to remember the last time I went this long without any alcohol and I believe it would have been back in my early 20s. If that is correct, that is 30 years ago, wow. I wish that I was happy and on fire, beaming with life and energy and taking on my new life with zest and vigor. That isn't exactly true, as I have been more depressed in the last month or so than I have been in perhaps over a decade. This is not what I was expecting.
To be fair, I know that I have accomplished something really positive for my life. My doctor, whom I've been with for over 10 years, has said with glee, "That's pretty good!" Looking at those written words, they are fare more banal than the smile on his face and the upbeat way he said it. I chuckled, but didn't really say much more than I still feel like crap most days. Oh, I do notice many little things that add up to a greater sum, such as food tasting so much better, my sense of smell is reborn, looking at the sunset without thinking about going out to the store for more beer and wine before it gets too late, not going to work miserably hung over day after day after day.., lots of things like that. I notice that some of my hair on my head is coming back in, although gray it is. -another chuckle.
Strange things have happened to the old bod in the years of abusive drinking. I suppose I could get in trouble with TMI -too much information, but they are medical facts. I used to have a hairy chest, which would scare off some girls that I dated, but then after a bare-chested hug, they said I was like a big teddy bear. My chest hair is all gone, but a little up high, my belly, fat such that it is, is smooth like when I was boy. Weird. Sorry about the TMI, but my testicles have shrunken, no, I'm not saying I was some stud, just anatomically very average, but these days, I look in the mirror when I come out of the shower and think, "dear God!, what have I done." You'd think I just got out of an ice cold pool! I am sort of laughing about it now, well, sort of. The weight gain, and loss of muscle mass is sad, but I know I can fix that to some extent.
One thing I do appreciate is that my mind is so clear, it's almost too clear, almost like I can't shut it down long enough for any peace. I think I was always ADD, but now I am even more easily distracted.
-OOH, shiny!!!
It's as if I'm almost hyper prescient and my little voice is so much more clear, perhaps both a good and bad thing. There are other physical oddities. When my distal edema (swelling in the feet ankles and calves) gets bad, I feel like I'm walking on painfully over-inflated balloons. My 5 year old asked me one day, "Daddy, are you feet going to pop?" I said, "I hope not buddy." He's the sweetest and most gentle and sharing little boy I've ever known. Too bad I missed out on so much of my daughter's earlier years.
So, why even post this if I'm going to meander in the dark side of being an alcoholic with cirrhosis, I ask myself. I know that I do need to focus on the positive, but I feel that sharing it all is better. Truth is, I don't really have anyone to talk to, other than my counselor, who is awesome, but it's not the same. I've always been a bit of a loner, but I have had some good friends. Most of them have faded over time and distance. I seem to have a harder time now letting people in than before, when I was half-schwacked all the time. I used to fly a lot for my job and thinking back on how much beer and wine I drank on those trips, I don't know how I made it on the airplanes and through security with such dragon breath. I was never "tipsy" or sloppy if you will. Over time, I learned to maintain and was highly functional, drunk and hung over. I wish my marriage was better; we don't fight, we just coexist, like roommates. My counselor calls it LAT, "living alone together."
I've made it 180 days. I say that to myself and it feels odd and surreal. I saw my doc last week and he doubled my lasix for the edema. Damn that stuff works! But when it hits, it's like a lightning storm hit my bladder, and I gotta PEEEEEEEEEE!!! It's like nothing I've ever felt, but the swelling goes down over a few days and I can go back to the regular dose. Boy, that stuff causes headaches, the kind that make you want to beat your head against a wall to make it better. Then there is the muscle cramps -charlie horses that make me scream out loud. And not just in my legs, mind you, but in my feet -curling into weird positions, sometimes in my hands, that seem to have a mind of their own and want to curl up backwards, as if God himself was trying to pry them off whilst holding my wrist down. I even got a muscle spam in my neck one time. It ran down my torso and up into the side of my face. I was howling in pain and hunched crooked-ways, like Quasimodo without the hump. My face scared my kids! Okay, now I'm laughing.
Oh boy, what have I done? What have I done?
I asked my Doc, well I tried to ask my Doc, but it wasn't quite coming out right, something like, "I know it's been only nearly 6 months and, but, is it... well, possible, will my body continue to... I know I drank for thirty years, but..," ore stammering, then he interrupted, "You mean, could you heal more and eventually get along without all this stuff?" "Yes!," he said. His volume jumped up quite a bit when he said that. And again, he said, "YES!, absolutely." To which I said, "I've been feeling so poorly these past few weeks, that I'm worried that my liver is de-compensating." (When one has cirrhosis, the liver can "compensate" -real medical term, for an indefinite period and then one day suddenly go south and leave the patient in a bad spot, to say the least. His answer was, and I won't try to quote him, that it could de-compensate at any time, he said that he's had patients that quit drinking and were fine for years and then suddenly, their livers failed, their bodies broke down, and they died. And others, that died right away after quitting, and still others that have been going strong for many years and live happy and normal lives. He asked me to focus on getting healthier, getting the weight off, eating a low salt diet, which he acknowledged is really hard to do. He said that I need to get moving, walking, something to get going again. He also doubled my testosterone replacement dose to see if I would notice more of a difference. More on that in a bit. As he wrapped up and I was getting ready to leave the exam room, he leaned out the door and said to his nurse,"We need to order some blood work for Mr. Vano. The nurse said, "What do you want to order?" he answered, "Everything." "Plus the ammonia." I really did chuckle then.
On the testosterone, low "T" as they call it. It is common among male alcoholics. Mine tested a little low, but low enough that the my Doc thought it would help me, give me a boost, if you will. I had been getting the shot in my thigh once a month, but now, it's twice a month, meaning too office visits and too bills. So just this past Friday, I finally worked up the nerve to inject myself with it. -Yikes!!! I HATE needles! I must have watched half a dozen U-tube videos on how to do it, even though the nurse had showed me a couple times. There I was, in my office, with all the kit laid out, needles, alcohol pads, syringes, it looked like was prepping for surgery. I finally worked up the courage and stuck that thing in the meat of my upper thigh. It wasn't that bad. But you're supposed to pull back on the syringe a little after the needle is in to make sure you didn't hit a vein. When I did that, I moved the needle from side to side a bit, as I was nervous. YOW! that hurt! I got done though and it felt good to overcome such a tiny fear. Maybe next time I'll go for an office visit, ha-ha.
Now that I have wandered all over with this post. There are some things I want to say and share. This is very emotional for me. First, finding this forum and through it, finding the book Alcohol Explained, by William Porter are truly what I believe helped me turn that corner, make that decision, and this time stick too it. I do not know if I will make it to a year, heck, I don't even know if I will live that long. What I do know is that I am so much better for living life without alcohol. Let me repeat that, living life WITHOUT alcohol. It's not living life, losing, or having lost alcohol. It was never my friend to begin with. I used to worry what life would be like without my precious red wine. But I also used to imagine and dream about living sober, thinking, "one day, one day I'll quit." I used to dream about that one day when I could look back on quitting many years ago and feel happy. I guess I still do dream about it, but now, at the very least, I know that I can live without it. I really can! Giving up alcohol was hard, but it wasn't so hard as I thought it would be.
I have a long way to go. My body continues to heal. My mind continues to clear. I have more hope than ever in spite of the negative things happening right now. Dear God, I remember those days of being so hung over, racked with pain and gulping down drinks to get enough of a buzz to quell my shaking hands and numb my throbbing head. I also remember how nasty I could be with my wife when I was hung over; that is truly sad. No matter what happens with the marriage, and all the other things that really are just part of life, that's just what they are. I know that I do have more hope than ever when I stop beating myself up about the past and allow my heart, the deepest parts of me, to feel that hope.
I have no idea if what I have posted here could help anyone, but I would be very happy to learn that it did. Even if my words give someone the strength to choose not to drink for one more day, that would be wonderful. Please stop. I don't want to lay out platitudes, I just want to say: Please stop, please don't drink. It's a choice.
I also and most sincerely want to thank everyone here who has chimed in and encouraged me. I am sorry that I don't post more often. I do find it hard at times to open this emotional can of worms, but I will post again.
Thanks,
Max
p.s.
To JADIII, so sorry we can't figure out a way to get each other our contact info. I kind of gave up for a while because it makes no sense to keep sending email accounts when they get blocked. Not sure what to do about that, but I sure wish I could talk sometime, maybe even cry a bit, maybe laugh.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Congrats on 6 months . I hope things continue to improve with time,
I posted this about emails in your last thread Max
the other way is.. the asterisked email domain is either 'g mail' or 'y ahoo'.com - try both.
D
I posted this about emails in your last thread Max
I wish that I could connect with the member who keeps messaging me but his email is blanked out in parts like this: john******doe@*****.*** not matter how many times he sends it. Maybe that's a forum security measure, who knows.
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Its an anti spam measure.
You can converse via Private Message - they really are private.
I also see you have email messages set up on your profile.
'John Doe' can go to your profile page, select the 'social profiles' tab - and send you an email that way.
You'll see his email address. He won't know what your email address is...until of course you email back.
D
You can converse via Private Message - they really are private.
I also see you have email messages set up on your profile.
'John Doe' can go to your profile page, select the 'social profiles' tab - and send you an email that way.
You'll see his email address. He won't know what your email address is...until of course you email back.
D
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 411
Fantastic post Max...thank you.
I have only a few short weeks sober and I have many of the same tribulations that you face. The way I look at it is, it took 40 plus years of drinking to put my mind and body in this state, why wouldnt it take the same to mend? But I do mark the little improvements and reassure myself they are signs of me finally moving in the right direction and, like you, am grateful that the realisation didnt come too late.
Congrats on your first 6 months...long may it continue.
I have only a few short weeks sober and I have many of the same tribulations that you face. The way I look at it is, it took 40 plus years of drinking to put my mind and body in this state, why wouldnt it take the same to mend? But I do mark the little improvements and reassure myself they are signs of me finally moving in the right direction and, like you, am grateful that the realisation didnt come too late.
Congrats on your first 6 months...long may it continue.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2021
Posts: 32
I really needed to read what you wrote today, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart and soul! Im 23 days sober today, and Ive been an alcoholic for right at 10 years. Not a daily drinker but for about 2, maybe almost 3 years of it early in the alcoholism. Since about 3 to 5 years ago (I find its hard to remember because I was drunk so much) I had been pushing myself to go further and further between drinks and got to where I would go between 4 and 9 days mostly between drinks, with sparse shorter and longer times here and there (I went 19 days just this past august)…but I am rambling. My point is, and why I thank you for this post, is that many times, the further I get in my sobriety, a little voice in my head starts to say “ hey man, you're good, you're ok, go have a drink. Its not going to hurt you because you space out your drinking real good”, but I know the minute I do, Im right back down the rabbit hole. Reading about what you are going through, and your completely honest health appraisal was griping and literally riveting to my bones and I thank you for it. You honestly have no idea how much I needed to read that, so, maybe it was for me. I wish you peace, tons of love, and perfect healing! Thank you again! I will be carrying your words with me a long long time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,153
Focus on the good, and make it a point to stop and be grateful during the day. I'm sorry about the bad stuff, but I doubt very little of that has anything to do with not drinking. Actually, you may just be more aware of what's been there all along. Much of this is due to aging. Not all of that can be reversed, but some of that can be and aging can be ********. You know what you need to do.
During my first year of recovery, I was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma. It's one of the deadly cancers, and is so rare they don't even look for it during normal physicals. Mine was picked up early by a fluke while looking at my gall bladder with ultra sound. Renal Cell does not respond to chemo or x-rays, but it was early enough that they could remove my kidney, so I dodged that bullet. It was just pure luck. But the point of this is that in my head, my AV was constantly suggesting there was a connection to sobriety, or suggesting that I needed to reconsider whether it was worth quitting in the first place. I ignored that, but those thoughts were there.
Keep in mind, that alcohol helps nothing. I'll grant that some people like the deadening escape and the blunted emotions. But you can learn to appreciate your emotions, even the bad ones, and even control them a bit. But alcohol adds nothing to your life while it does tremendous emotional and physical damage. There's just not any real upside to getting drunk, and the downsides are all imaginary rationalizations.
Six months is still early. You are still kind of new to this. Like you, I felt mentally better at 6 months, and I could have lived at that stage of recovery for the rest of my life. But what still takes me by surprise, is that while it slowly keeps getting better, the over all change is dramatic. These negatives you are dealing with now tend to become less important. You may be just experiencing them for the first time. I don't know, it's different for all of us.
Your goal right now should be just to enjoy the time you have left to the best of your abilities. We only go around once. Take life as a gift. You don't have to save the world, but do enjoy yourself. You don't want to be the guy that decides the good thing about life is that you get to drink yourself silly. Think about that. I know that so much more is out there for us to enjoy.
During my first year of recovery, I was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma. It's one of the deadly cancers, and is so rare they don't even look for it during normal physicals. Mine was picked up early by a fluke while looking at my gall bladder with ultra sound. Renal Cell does not respond to chemo or x-rays, but it was early enough that they could remove my kidney, so I dodged that bullet. It was just pure luck. But the point of this is that in my head, my AV was constantly suggesting there was a connection to sobriety, or suggesting that I needed to reconsider whether it was worth quitting in the first place. I ignored that, but those thoughts were there.
Keep in mind, that alcohol helps nothing. I'll grant that some people like the deadening escape and the blunted emotions. But you can learn to appreciate your emotions, even the bad ones, and even control them a bit. But alcohol adds nothing to your life while it does tremendous emotional and physical damage. There's just not any real upside to getting drunk, and the downsides are all imaginary rationalizations.
Six months is still early. You are still kind of new to this. Like you, I felt mentally better at 6 months, and I could have lived at that stage of recovery for the rest of my life. But what still takes me by surprise, is that while it slowly keeps getting better, the over all change is dramatic. These negatives you are dealing with now tend to become less important. You may be just experiencing them for the first time. I don't know, it's different for all of us.
Your goal right now should be just to enjoy the time you have left to the best of your abilities. We only go around once. Take life as a gift. You don't have to save the world, but do enjoy yourself. You don't want to be the guy that decides the good thing about life is that you get to drink yourself silly. Think about that. I know that so much more is out there for us to enjoy.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,922
Hi Max, you said ..
”My doctor, whom I've been with for over 10 years, has said with glee, "That's pretty good!" Looking at those written words, they are fare more banal than the smile on his face and the upbeat way …”
Imagine being a GP. There’ll be insomniacs, genuinely ill people, people who want a pill or quick fix instead of changing their poor lifestyles, etc, but then you turn up and say you’ve proactively made a huge effort and quit drinking for six months. No wonder he was pleased! After you left, he probably moonwalked across his office! I guarantee you made his day if not his week.
You also asked if your post would help anyone else. Yes! It’s a scary business going to a GP and fessing up that you drink too much. But in my experience, GPs welcome such patients who are making an effort to better themselves.
You’ve already brightened your GP’s day, now spread a lot more of what you’ve got around the place.
”My doctor, whom I've been with for over 10 years, has said with glee, "That's pretty good!" Looking at those written words, they are fare more banal than the smile on his face and the upbeat way …”
Imagine being a GP. There’ll be insomniacs, genuinely ill people, people who want a pill or quick fix instead of changing their poor lifestyles, etc, but then you turn up and say you’ve proactively made a huge effort and quit drinking for six months. No wonder he was pleased! After you left, he probably moonwalked across his office! I guarantee you made his day if not his week.
You also asked if your post would help anyone else. Yes! It’s a scary business going to a GP and fessing up that you drink too much. But in my experience, GPs welcome such patients who are making an effort to better themselves.
You’ve already brightened your GP’s day, now spread a lot more of what you’ve got around the place.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Location: PNW, US
Posts: 3,291
Wonderful post!! I hung onto every word!
I’m so happy that you’re experiencing such positive Ganges (both mentally and physically).
I don’t want to hijack your post. But I’ve done sober years and non-sober years. And I can see a huge difference in my appearance in photos from those sober years! My stomach is flatter. My face is slimmer. It’s unbelievable.
You must be so proud of this accomplishment!!
I’m so happy that you’re experiencing such positive Ganges (both mentally and physically).
I don’t want to hijack your post. But I’ve done sober years and non-sober years. And I can see a huge difference in my appearance in photos from those sober years! My stomach is flatter. My face is slimmer. It’s unbelievable.
You must be so proud of this accomplishment!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
I loved that post, Max. Thank you. Congratulations on 6 months!
I quit drinking at 42. I'm now 48. The challenges of ageing are enough to face without poisoning our bodies with alcohol. I hope you'll take your doctor's advice and start moving.
Even if you start small, I think that'll make a difference. Exercising makes a difference externally - to my weight, my skin, my muscles - but also internally, I have a strong heart and lungs for example. Things will bag and sag, that's just gravity, but the fitness I earned in sobriety gives me confidence and a spring in my step that make up for it.
I quit drinking at 42. I'm now 48. The challenges of ageing are enough to face without poisoning our bodies with alcohol. I hope you'll take your doctor's advice and start moving.
Even if you start small, I think that'll make a difference. Exercising makes a difference externally - to my weight, my skin, my muscles - but also internally, I have a strong heart and lungs for example. Things will bag and sag, that's just gravity, but the fitness I earned in sobriety gives me confidence and a spring in my step that make up for it.
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,848
Your message is loud and clear and I congratulate you on 6 months - it's wonderful. You have started the journey and found sobriety. Your observations and reflections are insightful and inspiring. Thank you!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Fantastic post Max. So good to hear from you and read your honest and heartfelt thoughts about your recovery journey. I honestly believe that your health will improve over time. Try to get some exercise, especially cardio and some weights - cardio has so many beneficial effects on our healing from the alcohol, especially brain chemistry. The weights will also help the testosterone.
My best to you, keep up the good work!
My best to you, keep up the good work!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Seeking a peaceful state of mind
Posts: 99
Originally Posted by snowboarder1980
I really needed to read what you wrote today, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart and soul! Im 23 days sober today, and Ive been an alcoholic for right at 10 years. Not a daily drinker but for about 2, maybe almost 3 years of it early in the alcoholism. Since about 3 to 5 years ago (I find its hard to remember because I was drunk so much) I had been pushing myself to go further and further between drinks and got to where I would go between 4 and 9 days mostly between drinks, with sparse shorter and longer times here and there (I went 19 days just this past august)…but I am rambling. My point is, and why I thank you for this post, is that many times, the further I get in my sobriety, a little voice in my head starts to say “ hey man, you're good, you're ok, go have a drink. Its not going to hurt you because you space out your drinking real good”, but I know the minute I do, Im right back down the rabbit hole. Reading about what you are going through, and your completely honest health appraisal was griping and literally riveting to my bones and I thank you for it. You honestly have no idea how much I needed to read that, so, maybe it was for me. I wish you peace, tons of love, and perfect healing! Thank you again! I will be carrying your words with me a long long time.
Please make your choice and stick with it. I don't know if you're a reader, I hate reading self-help books, so I got the Audible version of Alcohol Explained, by William Porter, and it along with this forum is what really got me to turn that corner. I can't say that enough about both things. It may not mean much from a stranger but I do believe you can do this. Trust me, please trust me, I don't mean to condescend, but you don't want to have to deal with what I'm dealing with, and I'm not even that bad as cirrhotics go. Please get that book, stick with this forum, go to AA, give it a try maybe. I'm pulling for you. I'm really holding back the tears, I don't want my kids to hear me. But this stuff is real and it is so seriously bad. They talk about banning this and that and our society. I'm surprised they don't talk more about banning alcohol, because it kills so many and ruins so many lives. You take care, please. All the best to you my friend. I believe that one day we could both look back and say wow, we're free of this. I believe it will be true.
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