dustyfox

I had to attend an event at our local church this evening, I've known about it for ages and had persuaded my husband and two children to come along to what turned out to be a very long event. When it all ended everyone was invited to stay and have some food. When I turned to go to the back of the church with the children I was surprised to see three large tables with glasses of wine, red and white already poured with people calling me over holding out glass of red to me.

The atmosphere was cheerful and friendly with people chatting and laughing.. There were neighbours, teachers from the local school, clergy, the great and the good, all drinking and chatting it felt so normal. I knew I would enjoy it more, be more sociable, wittier, more confident if I took the glass being held out to me. - I really was caught by surprise, I had not realised there'd be wine at this event and so much of it ,all poured ready to drink! I didn't take the wine. I shook my head and moved away. It scared me a little - I really did want that glass of wine and it's the first time I have felt my commitment to sobriety being tested. I survived but I need to do more work on how to conquer social anxiety without alcohol.

saoutchik

Well done Dusty. I expect that for people like us our mind's default setting is "accept drink when offered" and overriding that automatic response takes some effort - but you did it which is what counts. Maybe they will remember you don't drink next time and won't offer you one.

Dee74

I'm glad you stayed true DF - those first few ambush situations can be tough but HELL NO is always the right response

D

dustyfox

Thank you Sauotchik ! As an interesting observation - the image of those glasses of wine is literally etched on my brain at the moment - I already know what would have happened if I had drunk that glass being offered - weeks, months or even years of heavy drinking - HELL NO is right Dee!

nez

You did great Dusty!

I conquered my social anxiety by participating in social interactions while sober. I ain't gonna lie, it was hard and painful at times, but then life as an alcoholic is hard, painful, and hell. At least sobriety isn't hell and the hard gets easier with time. The life of an alcoholic only gets harder, more painful, and more hellacious with time. Not only that but if I resorted to alcohol to deal with my social anxiety, it would have just been a temporary bandaid and would fall off sooner or later. With sobriety I conquered it. Done. Finito.

You got his Dusty, just keep at it.

Anna

I'm glad you got through that DustyFox.

least

Glad you refused the wine. There's nothing good that can come from drinking it.

Surrendered19

Wow. That would be tough for the most hardened sober person DustyFox. A table of poured glasses of wine. This has nothing to do with you or this situation, but I will humbly observe that what the event staff did was irresponsible, even for normal drinkers. The setting itself is begs for binge drinking and excess. Not just amongst us problem drinkers. But for any drinker. Shame on them for that.

Triggered

proud of ya Dusty

Steely

So happy for you Dusty. I feel great, and it wasn't even me who achieved the outcome. Muscle building stuff.

PeacefulWater12

Very good work.

DriGuy

The surprise temptations are scary. By definition, you can't plan ahead for a specific thing that you don't know will happen. So besides the usual planning, you need to keep, "I will never drink," at the forefront of your mind. That commitment solves almost every situation. You did well.

LiveLikeGold6

So glad you didn't take it. I really resonate with what you said about dealing with the social anxiety. I can't keep going back to alcohol because it's a self medicating thing to get me thru those social situations I crave. But I have hope, thank you.

fishkiller

Good Work!

We don't drink, No Matter What

Cityboy

That sounds like a defining yes or no moment, and you said no. Solid!

JimiC

Great job abstaining. When you say you knew you would enjoy it more, be more sociable, wittier, more confident if you took the glass, I suggest you beak that mindset. There are no benefits to drinking, my confidence and sociability is so much better sober.

UNITE4STRENGTH

Really pleased to hear you dodged that!! Social anxiety has been the bane of my life. Once I have mastered the art of social I will be such a happy person!!!

Mizz

Congrats on getting through that moment. YOU DID IT!
Moving forward. Onward and upwards.

KittyMama00

Thanks for sharing your strength, and thank you for staying sober! A table full of poured glasses of wine and a friend holding one out sounds like a nightmare to me, but you met the challenge with strength and dignity, and the self-knowledge that you need work on being sober through social anxiety. I have been in one situation at my new job where I was offered a drink at an event, and when I muttered that "I don't drink", the person offering went and made me a mocktail version of the "featured cocktail" and it was delicious! But what I wanted to share is that during this event I realized that EVERYONE is socially awkward....people who are drinking alcohol and those who are sober. Being human and being together is full of awkwardness, especially because of the after-effects of COVID isolation/fear of being infected.
I look forward to reading more about how strong you are in your sobriety. THANK YOU!

Free2bme888

I echo JimiC…..

Gotta change that stinking’ thinking’, Dusty.

It is POISON. ⚰️🪦☠️☠️☠️

Glad you chose not to imbibe, it will get easier when you don’t romanticize it.