Unexpected trigger
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,157
Unexpected trigger
Nearing 2 years sober. Zero desire to drink. AV been pretty quiet for most of the the last year plus.
Last night after pressure washing around the house all day I was helping the wife cook on the flat top and she asked for the teriyaki sauce. I went to the fridge and grabbed it by the bottom half.
Went outside, she used it and handed it back to me. This time I grabbed it where it tapers from wide to narrow. Like a long neck beer bottle.
Instantly hit with a warm comforting feeling. Looked down and for a split second it almost looked like a beer.
Sat it down immediately and picked it back up again and that same feeling came to me.
I did not pick it up again.
Freaked me out how good just holding that bottle felt.
Be ever vigilant my friends. The AV lies in wait.
I planned for most situations I could think of when I first quit but picking up a bottle of teriyaki sauce never made the list.
Well actually I did plan for such a scenario, Do Not Drink No Matter What. I learned that here.
That is the only fool proof plan IMO. There will always be triggers and as I found out yesterday they can be found in the least likely of places.
Stay Strong, Stay Sober.
Beware the teriyaki sauce.
Last night after pressure washing around the house all day I was helping the wife cook on the flat top and she asked for the teriyaki sauce. I went to the fridge and grabbed it by the bottom half.
Went outside, she used it and handed it back to me. This time I grabbed it where it tapers from wide to narrow. Like a long neck beer bottle.
Instantly hit with a warm comforting feeling. Looked down and for a split second it almost looked like a beer.
Sat it down immediately and picked it back up again and that same feeling came to me.
I did not pick it up again.
Freaked me out how good just holding that bottle felt.
Be ever vigilant my friends. The AV lies in wait.
I planned for most situations I could think of when I first quit but picking up a bottle of teriyaki sauce never made the list.
Well actually I did plan for such a scenario, Do Not Drink No Matter What. I learned that here.
That is the only fool proof plan IMO. There will always be triggers and as I found out yesterday they can be found in the least likely of places.
Stay Strong, Stay Sober.
Beware the teriyaki sauce.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
When it triggers it's like 'where the hell did that come from?'
I hear you one that one, it's so so true that you have to keep yourself in check, it's way to easy to become complacent. I get a few memories pop up from time to time, which I embrace. It reminds me to never go back, never look back. The thought of the shakes, the sickness, the embarrassment, the apologies, the shame the list goes on.
Here's to everyone that's toasting with a cuppa tea lol,
xx
I hear you one that one, it's so so true that you have to keep yourself in check, it's way to easy to become complacent. I get a few memories pop up from time to time, which I embrace. It reminds me to never go back, never look back. The thought of the shakes, the sickness, the embarrassment, the apologies, the shame the list goes on.
Here's to everyone that's toasting with a cuppa tea lol,
xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2021
Location: Central NC
Posts: 205
Originally Posted by snowboarder1980 
Im just on day 13 myself but Ive realized hand sanitizer is a HUGE “flashback” trigger for me. I work in a medical office though so its near impossible to get away from.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
So interesting, Fish. I'm glad you posted. Those old drinking thoughts & feelings are waiting to haunt us.
K AD - That smell hits me every time we go grocery shopping - it was so disturbing until I got used to it.
K AD - That smell hits me every time we go grocery shopping - it was so disturbing until I got used to it.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
The triggers I plan for are easy. It’s the sneak attacks that throw me for a loop.
Never drink is an excellent fall back plan - hasn’t failed me yet and I’m glad it’s been a good one for you, fish
O
Never drink is an excellent fall back plan - hasn’t failed me yet and I’m glad it’s been a good one for you, fish
O
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,157
There is alcohol in the house. No this was not a possible relapse.
I don't drink.
This was definitely a reminder to be vigilant.
I am around drinkers a lot. There is beer in the house. None of this triggers or bothers me.
But a cold, harmless bottle set me off.
It was a very powerful feeling. My whole body just relaxed when I grabbed that bottle. Instantly.
I have heard of IV drug users just sticking themselves with a needle if they don't have drugs and it triggers similar feelings. Not sure if true but I have heard that.
I kind of wanted to pick it back up and hold onto that feeling for a while but the above kept me from doing so. Knowing what my brain was doing kept me from doing it.
Today its holding a cold bottle, tomorrow that don't work so maybe a near beer, we'll that don't work no more so maybe just one real one. Etc....
I Aint falling for it.
I don't drink.
This was definitely a reminder to be vigilant.
I am around drinkers a lot. There is beer in the house. None of this triggers or bothers me.
But a cold, harmless bottle set me off.
It was a very powerful feeling. My whole body just relaxed when I grabbed that bottle. Instantly.
I have heard of IV drug users just sticking themselves with a needle if they don't have drugs and it triggers similar feelings. Not sure if true but I have heard that.
I kind of wanted to pick it back up and hold onto that feeling for a while but the above kept me from doing so. Knowing what my brain was doing kept me from doing it.
Today its holding a cold bottle, tomorrow that don't work so maybe a near beer, we'll that don't work no more so maybe just one real one. Etc....
I Aint falling for it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Sneak attacks from our alcoholic voice (or alcoholic brain) are part and parcel of recovery. To recover we have to have a plan for what we haven't planned for. As impossible as that may seem, it can be done. As already pointed out, "Never take a drink" is a major step. In fact, Rational Recovery, centers it's entire program around that strategy with it's Big Plan. But I think there are equally important conditions that must be met for a happy sober life.
For example, an alcoholic who wants recovery has to want to quit drinking. I think there are lots of newcomers and perhaps even old timers, who want to recover, but still want to drink. Sometimes this is admitted outright, and sometimes it can be read between the lines. I think this is a recipe for failure. I started that way too, but at some point, partly due to physical and mental exhaustion, I lost my desire to drink. That's when I felt like I was finally recovering. In fact, I consider myself "recovered" even though some people believe no one ever recovers. But lets debate that some other place.
But just getting to that point, doesn't stop our alcoholic brain from throwing curve balls at us. I still get them although they are rare. But without even knowing about Rational Recovery, I had already decided I would never drink again, and that seems to deal with the curve balls quite well. It also helps knowing without question that I do not want to drink, and that the thought of taking up drinking again, while I never worry about it one bit, does bring up nightmarish shudders.
For example, an alcoholic who wants recovery has to want to quit drinking. I think there are lots of newcomers and perhaps even old timers, who want to recover, but still want to drink. Sometimes this is admitted outright, and sometimes it can be read between the lines. I think this is a recipe for failure. I started that way too, but at some point, partly due to physical and mental exhaustion, I lost my desire to drink. That's when I felt like I was finally recovering. In fact, I consider myself "recovered" even though some people believe no one ever recovers. But lets debate that some other place.
But just getting to that point, doesn't stop our alcoholic brain from throwing curve balls at us. I still get them although they are rare. But without even knowing about Rational Recovery, I had already decided I would never drink again, and that seems to deal with the curve balls quite well. It also helps knowing without question that I do not want to drink, and that the thought of taking up drinking again, while I never worry about it one bit, does bring up nightmarish shudders.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by fishkiller
I kind of wanted to pick it back up and hold onto that feeling for a while but the above kept me from doing so. Knowing what my brain was doing kept me from doing it.
I Aint falling for it.
I Aint falling for it.
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