Hello, am I an Alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 356
I realized late in life that I had social anxiety too. Looking back, it was obvious. And I of course used alcohol to "fit in" and socialize. What I came to understand was that I sought out friends that were drinking and drugging too. So the group that I hung out with were drinking all the time. It made my own drinking seem normal. So I had to change my friends, and some I have not heard from in years. Now I should also mention that I would make an ass out of myself when I was drinking because I of course drank too much. And finally I would just drink alone. So it went for a long time, before I had the "hangover from hell" and decided that was it. I don't know if there is a single path to follow here. Do what works for you. AA, one one on counseling, SR, you name it. As for the anxiety I would recommend that you join a gym or some other activity. It is a low stress way to get out of the house and meet a few people in a non-threatening way. Keep trying! I know I am better now that I have stopped drinking. You can get better as well!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
I was told to answer 3 questions to determine whether I'm a "real alcoholic" as defined by certain people in Alcoholics Anonymous:
1. Does my experience abundantly confirm that I can't predict what happens when I put alcohol in me? This is trying to get at whether I have some sort of physical allergy to alcohol. Importantly, this doesn't require me to get drunk every time I drink. Rather, it's enough to conclude that I often drink more than I plan to, and I can't predict when that's going to happen.
2. Does my experience abundantly confirm that even after I've concluded that I want to / need to stop drinking, I still nevertheless always find my way back to the conclusion that the next right thing for me to do is pick up a drink? This is getting at whether I have a mental obsession that makes me some form of insane even when I'm completely sober. If I don't suffer from this obsession then I really don't have much of a problem because I'll just commit to never picking up another drink and stick to that commitment.
3. Does my experience abundantly confirm that nothing "in the world" is going to fix problems (1) & (2)? This is getting at whether I suffer from a spiritual malady or whether my problem can by solved by getting the right job, relationship, home, degree, salary, etc.
My understanding today is that the type of alcoholic who answers "yes" to all three of these questions may be suffering from a malady for which only A.A. works as a solution.
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more.
1. Does my experience abundantly confirm that I can't predict what happens when I put alcohol in me? This is trying to get at whether I have some sort of physical allergy to alcohol. Importantly, this doesn't require me to get drunk every time I drink. Rather, it's enough to conclude that I often drink more than I plan to, and I can't predict when that's going to happen.
2. Does my experience abundantly confirm that even after I've concluded that I want to / need to stop drinking, I still nevertheless always find my way back to the conclusion that the next right thing for me to do is pick up a drink? This is getting at whether I have a mental obsession that makes me some form of insane even when I'm completely sober. If I don't suffer from this obsession then I really don't have much of a problem because I'll just commit to never picking up another drink and stick to that commitment.
3. Does my experience abundantly confirm that nothing "in the world" is going to fix problems (1) & (2)? This is getting at whether I suffer from a spiritual malady or whether my problem can by solved by getting the right job, relationship, home, degree, salary, etc.
My understanding today is that the type of alcoholic who answers "yes" to all three of these questions may be suffering from a malady for which only A.A. works as a solution.
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2021
Posts: 12
Just an update to how I'm doing. I have been sober for 6 days, joined a few AA online Zoom meetings that I participate in everyday. Found myself a sponsor and ordered the AA Big Book, so looking forward to doing the 12 steps. Also starting this Friday I will be going to a meeting in my local town which helps people with alcohol problems. So things are looking up and I intend that they stay that way.
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