5 days
 

Sober again. It was very hard to make the first steps again. So much healing to be done.

Yes the first step is so very hard but you have done it! Now just stay stopped. You can do this.

Hi FC, first off, well done on 5 days, and I hope you’re not feeling too groggy, but I know you will be.

I’m going to have to ask what’s been going on this year, though. You were up to six weeks at one stage. What I’ve learned from this site above all else is that we’ve all got this lifelong illness (alcoholism) whether we quit 5 days or 40 years ago. These amazing people who post about being 10+ years sober would be toppled by that one drink just as you and I would.

Whilst we all have bad stuff going on, think about non-drinkers. They have problems and anxiety too, but they don’t need to drink. Us drinkers use stress as an excuse to drink when it’s the alcohol that causes the stress in the first place.

I’m a believer in just do it, no need for analysis or blogs, but maybe in your case, a blog of how you feel would be an idea. That way you’d know why you decided to have that “one” drink. I’m obviously implying that you’ll drink again, sorry. I’d love you to prove me wrong, though.

Those first horrible 5 days were reason enough for me never to have one drink again. After reading so many accounts of one drink turning into a full blown return to alcoholism, I'm pretty sure there is truth in it. But I don't know if it's true for me, because I never tried it. So I guess, some of us have to try it, just like the small child who is warned not to touch the hot stove, and then the first thing he does is touch the stove. It's the reason we tell each other over and over again, that quitting must be FOR LIFE.

I'm not a person of faith, but accepting that I cannot drink again, is one of the few things I have allowed myself to accept on faith. This is not hard to do, because I hated my life becoming a living Hell. And the alternative to never drinking again was just to ugly to accept. I hated trying to find pleasure or relief in something that had proven to give me no pleasure or relief whatsoever. And every way I looked at the problem, there was no way I could change that reality. There was no more upside to drinking than there was in jumping off a bridge (for me).

Is it different for you? You've touched the stove. You know the consequences. Why not just give up and accept reality? Because here's the thing; Reality is better than a false and harmful fantasy.

Great job on five days, FC. From my own experience, you are past the worst of it.

Now, just don't listen to the AV. Have you read Alcohol Explained by William Porter?

You can do this.

It is as often is just one drink to bring me unstuck. Then 2 then 20 a day. Soon enough not drinking for pleasure but to keep the come down away. It really does defy logic. At the very least my continued efforts towards abstinence have given me multiple tools to help me.
thanks for your reply

I will have a look at that book, thanks

I definitely do relate. A day or 2 of pleasure if I'm lucky followed by relentless despair. Thanks

We all know it’s that one drink which wipes away months or years of our lives. For me, it’d have to be something catastrophic to take that drink. Not than I have no cravings; I certainly do, but the know the after effects will without a doubt kick in. Isn’t it easier then not to drink? What event made you drink last time?

I thought I could. Well I convinced myself I could at the same time as knowing I couldn't.

I'm glad you made it back FinalCall :)

Welcome back! :hug:

I’m not picking on you, FC, although it probably sounds like it 😆 and people in glass houses …

You say you convinced yourself you could have that one drink without consequences. You now know that’s not the case, and you knew the time before that. There must be a trigger here. Can you isolate that so you’re ready next time you’re tempted? Again, it sounds like I’m on your case, but I just feel for you as it must be demoralising to quit and relapse, and you’d be a lot happier free of this cycle.

I remember a person in AA saying she knew she was addicted to alcohol, but that her response was that she didn't care, so she drank anyway, at least until she finally quit. So she must have started to care at some point, but she never actually gave an explanation for why she quit. But I cannot wrap my head around not caring if you are addicted.

I do hope FC gives your post some serious thought, because "thinking you can, while knowing you can't" is illogical. Two opposites cannot both be true. You have to be drinking for some other reason, or maybe, like that woman in AA, you have no reason NOT to drink.

Thanks, DG. It’s just that I’ve been there enough times myself. It’s hard to put a finger on it, but one day something just clicked, and I gave up. If I knew that was, I’d be on TV a lot and a millionaire 🙂 What I will say is, my life was going quite well after a lot of positive changes, and I wanted it to stay that way. That didn’t prevent cravings or triggers, but I know it’s easier not to drink. Anything for an easy life. I just wish that FC and others could pinpoint their triggers and avoid them otherwise they’re likely to head blindly into another relapse - none of us want that.

Those are a tough 5 days Finalcall. I'm glad you have them under your belt now. Character-building foundational days. Every single person who has 10,000 days sober stacked all of those up on the first 5 days.

I’m going to be un-PC here and say that’s often the case with overweight people who say they don’t care and are happy. As a former obese guy, I can’t accept that. Overweight people would be happier and healthier at a sensible weight. Alcoholics will be happier and healthier without alcohol. That lady at AA was lost, and I hope they found their way. Nothing wrong with anyone admitting they’re unhappy as a result of drinking. It’s not a weakness, the opposite applies.

I'm glad you're back, FC. Congratulations on 5 days of sobriety.

NO need to worry about offending me hodd I have thick skin. In fact I prefer thought inspiring honesty. Now I remember, 6 or so weeks early this year ended after I was a bit ill with a cold or flu and was a bit under the weather. I'm not sure if I let my guard down or just wanted to feel a bit better. It doesn't work. Thanks for the reminder.

🙂🤣 I’ll stop nagging now. Our ups and downs and even mental health are a big factor in all this. I don’t have depression as far as I know, but I do have the odd down day when I’d rather stay in bed. Such mood swings (hopefully normal) are why I wouldn’t dare keep booze in the house.