AthensDawgs

This is the only place that I can really bring this to, just frustrated. I told my gf that we needed to take a break, and yes, I fell off the wagon. That's not an excuse to drink but I did. We dated for like 6 years, and most of that was long distance. I'm in Georgia and she's in Florida. We talked several times about her moving to Atlanta and it was obvious that would never happen. I'm probably really dumb for not ending it a few years ago, but I remained hopeful that things would work out.

I just needed to type that out and hope it makes sense. Thanks for letting me vent.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your break and that you decided to drink over it.
30 years or so ago I drank over a break up for a full 18 months so you're streets ahead of me in coming back AthensDawgs

What I learned (eventually) is there can be no surrender to addiction, no extenuating circumstances.
I either drink or I don't...there's no situational green light to drink of you're a disastrous self destructive drinker like me .

If you can learn that through this understandably rough time, then it's not all been in vain AD

D

Robbie64

Sorry to read about your break with your girlfriend AthensDawgs. I can feel the frustration you are experiencing in what you have written. I'm also sorry to read that you drank over it. Have you stopped again? Hopefully whatever the situation is with your girlfriend can work out in a way that is best for you. Also hopefully you can get back on the wagon and can move forward with your life while remaining sober. All the best.

Steely

At least it was you who put forward the idea AD....you must have known it was needed, and now it's done. I'm sorry you drank over it too, but you can pick yourself up now and move forward in the direction that inspired you to seek a break in the first place.

Nothing warrants a drink.

Triggered

Hi AD, Lately I've been trying to learn how to compartmentalise my issues. If I looked at my life overall I could easily get overwhelmed with all the issues I need to tackle and it would turn into a mish mash of rubbish with a momentum of it's own if I didnt break it down into more manageable pieces. The one piece I need to be uncompromising on is my sobriety. For me that is one part of my life i need to be absolutely sure of... when all else fails me it's the one thing I can say that I draw strength from. Compartmentalising doesnt always work as well as you need it to, there are always crossover issues that will be difficult but I found the more I try, the more I can bring some order where none existed before.
I've had long distance relationships before, many of them in fact. If I put my hand on my heart I would say some of those relationships I kept as nothing more than having human contact. If I was being honest I alluded to taking the relationship further just to maintain contact but in reality I didnt have any intention of doing so.... self delusion in alcoholic haze. Please dont think Im being presumptious, I dont know enough about your relationship and wont pretend to. I just know that I had to get honest with myself to be able to make the right choices.... good luck buddy

DriGuy

I'm going to ask a question purely out of my own curiosity, although I believe it is irrelevant to your recovery, but I'm not sure of that either. Did you drink because you took a break, or did you take a break so that you could drink?

biminiblue

AthensDawg - make this your Day One. I know about drinking to "get over" a relationship but all it does is delay the grieving process. There's no easy way to lose someone I care about but I couldn't do long-distance anymore myself. I've done it in the past but I have to agree with Triggered above: it was a way to be sort of involved with someone without all the compromises and issues of someone that's in my same town. Long distance was a way for me to not get too close and therefore not get too hurt or have too many expectations on either side.

Alcohol is the wrong solution for any problem.

Stay with us, AthensDawg.

Anna

AthensDawg, I'm sorry about your break-up and I'm sure it's painful. I hope you can see this as a new beginning for you.

Cityboy

Sorry things didn't work out athensdawg. I hope that you can pull yourself back together and move forward with remaining sober.

This has been pretty much the only place I could come to for any kind of meaningful discussion having to do with drinking vs not drinking, and many of the related issues. It is all interconnected with alcohol dependency being the ultimate cause and effect.

I hope that your team wins every game this year except for this one coming up. In reality, your team has a good shot at going all the way this year.

Dee74

hows it going AD?
D