Burra

I can't stop drinking. It doesn't affect my job, but there's nothing else for it to affect. My life is empty. I get wasted on all my days off. I look and feel terrible all the time. I am desperate to stop because of how it makes me feel. I know it's my responsibility to fill the empty days with something meaningful, but I can't. So the days have to be filled with something. I don't know what to do. AA does not help, support groups don't help, because drinking hasn't damaged my life. There's nothing to damage. I have no future. No prospects or things to value. Nobody cares about a loser and for good reason. How do you get sober when there is no point.

silentrun

Welcome, Burra.

Dee74

Welcome back Burra
I think that sort of hopeless apathy actually comes from drinking.

I think if you really felt it was hurting anything you wouldn't be here.
Obviously you want more for your life - but you won't get that by drinking...only more apathy and generally beating yourself up as a loser.

Your life is worth saving

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...dont-frog.html (Don't be the Frog)

D

doggonecarl

No future, nothing to value, no one who cares...you're describing a drinking life, not a sober one. Give sobriety a try before you give up on it.

VikingGF

Most of us may have felt the same way, and by that I mean that it didn't effect our jobs.... I realized it sure did, once I stopped drinking. Being sober makes opens our eyes to so many things, so why not give a try? You came to the right place.

Anna

As others have said, things will probably look differently to you if you are sober. Your alcoholic mind is hoping you will continue drinking, so trying to convince you that nothing matters. But, you do matter.

Alpine

I felt that exact same way and felt like it was all I had so why bother. I was spinning down a hole that was getting deeper and deeper. I decided one morning enough was enough and stopped drinking. It has been 25 days now and my outlook on life has done a 180. I am happy, content, motivated,..the list goes on. I had forgotten who I was and I was not happy with the drinking person that I had become. It is worth, give it a chance.

Hevyn

Hi Burra. I'm sorry you're feeling so hopeless. I felt numb & foggy all the time at the end of my drinking days. Nothing was fun or exciting anymore. It steals our spirit. Why not see how it would feel to be free of it?
Good to see you here.

Nonsensical

I spent so much time trying to soothe my own suffering I actually created more of it.
I didn't know how to do anything meaningful.
I had to learn.
Go feed and clean up at your local animal shelter.
Feed some homeless people.
Read stories to some neglected children.
Set up the chairs before the next AA meeting.
Meaning isn't going to fall out of the sky on your next day off.
Go find it.

DriGuy

The answer to the "what is the meaning of life" question, is always, "What you want to put into it." The answer, "To eat, drink, and be Merry," is one answer, but it's rather cavalier, and I'm pretty sure, it was meant as humor.

Mizz

Lets dissect all of the above a bit:

You can stop drinking.
Your life is filled with all the things you fill it with. It may feel empty right now but you can change that feeling.
Getting wasted on your days can change and will change when you decide its time to change.
When you quit drinking you will no longer look and feel terrible. Its true.
Having desperation to stop is a good sign. The desperation can change your life in positive ways.
It is your responsibility to fill your life with meaningful pursuits and you can do it. YOU CAN DO IT!

You do know what to do. You absolutely do know what to do! Removing alcohol from your life will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
AA may not have helped in the past and support groups may not have helped in the past but YOU CAN HELP YOURSELF to win over this challenge. I would disagree with the thoughts that alcohol has not damaged your life. It sounds to me like the damage is in the form of a very low state of being and a negative outlook on your life.

You do have a future. Your future is what you make it. You have the power to change and the power to make your life unbelievably happy. You have all the power for what your life will be.

I am not going to jump on the loser train with you. Just the fact that you are here and have written about your struggle is a sign that you want to CHANGE. Belief in oneself is instrumental. Belief in the power that we have to make the right decisions. You are a powerful person with unlimited potential. Its time to get going on quitting your active addiction.

How do you get sober when there is no point? You remove the alcohol and then you set about to build your life. You find meaning in all that you are doing. We all have our own unique gifts and our own mission in the world. Finding your mission and living in your truth is possible. There is joy and meaning to what we are doing here. There are many steps that you can take to get healthier. Many.

This forum changed my life. I changed my life. Belief changed my life. Prayer changed my life. Time changed my life.

I believe in you. You can get sober and you can be happy.

Hodd

Hi Burra, you obviously care and want your life back if you posted here.

I get where you’re coming from 100%. I write a lot of waffle on here about my own journey from drunk and obese to an unimaginably different life within two years. I’m in the UK too and was still drunk the morning after when I got to work. One thing I’ve noticed is people’s positivity goes up after a period of sobriety. You’re not a loser as you said, but you’re probably less positive than you could be.

You can’t just quit without changing at least one other thing. Take up a hobby which means you can’t drink, e.g. you have to drive somewhere in the evening. Whatever you’re doing now, TV or whatever, stop that. What got me finally quitting was fessing up to my GP. I had counselling and some medication which helped slightly, but I was - and still an - accountable to someone in authority. I don’t know anything about AA, but the likelihood is you won’t see the people again. You will see your GP again, snd they’ll ask if you’re drinking. It’s nice to say no and mean it.

Be a lot more positive about your future. Yes, you need to quit and do something with your life. You said “loser” which is incredibly harsh, but you’ll be far from a loser when you quit. I think if you read just a few threads, youll see quitting means just that. No sneaky drinks or your body knows you’re not serious.

No reason why you can’t quit this week. I did at 49 and it’s been a whirlwind.

decchemist

That sounds like drinking HAS damaged your life and continues to do so. The answer is stop drinking. You can do it if you want to. It's not easy to start with, but it is achievable and gets easier as time goes by. It needs commitment and effort. I hope you will give it a go.

OldAndTired

Hi Burra,

I just joined and am feeling exactly the same way. Thank-you for your post nice to know others have felt the same it that it gets better.

least

You CAN stop drinking, you just HAVEN'T yet. Try til you get it or die, cause one or the other will eventually happen.

Hevyn

OldAndTired - Welcome to SR - it's wonderful to have you with us. You are no longer alone.

birddawg

I see a common theme here amongst us drunks. We can all quit. It's staying quit and and not getting complacent and thinking we have this thing licked after a few months and letting that AV back into our heads. At least that is the case for me.

Good luck to both you and the OP. We are all in this together and nobody here is alone.