Thesaviour

Seen a good few of these stories and they seem interesting and to intrigue me.

For those who had "long term time" (you can define that) went back out, then got back on the horse...

1. Age of starting long term and how you got there. Plan?

2. What was the thinking in going back out? Plan?

3. How long did you stay back out?

4. Age getting back on the horse and how you got there. Plan?

5. Never again?

UNITE4STRENGTH

Not long long term, but my longest (14 months):
1. Age 40, rehab + AA
2. Poor mental health (unmedicated) + not putting enough work into my recovery
3. 7 weeks
4. Age 41, SR, AA + support from a friend (financial support plus looking after my bank cards to help me get the first 60-90 under my belt)
5. Never again!!!!!

KAD65

1. 49, rehab & AA
2. Under intense stress, I thought again about what used to alleviate it. Didn't work and only made things worse. I hadn't been attending meetings for several years.
3. 8 days.
4. 55, got actively involved in AA again.
5. Not today! One day at a time is all I really have, but I learned a valuable lesson. Again...

2muchpain

Sounds like you are taking a poll. Many people here have relapsed after long term sobriety. Maybe you are looking into ways to manage long term recovery. Since you are early on in your recovery, your time might be better spent on how people manage to stay sober in the short term. Trying to intellectualize your drinking and finding stats on peoples recovery isn't going to do you much good. Getting ideas on how to stay sober will only get you so far. Finding intellectual ways of understanding your drinking will only get you so far. Being a smart person will only get you so far, and can actually undermine your sobriety. Maybe digging deeper in your social, emotional and behavioral issues might do you more good. Taking a poll with these issues won't do you any good. With all due respect, you are avoiding the real issues. Maybe it's time to get out of your intellectual way, and deal with the real issues. John

GiftsOfSobriety

I was sober for 25 years. I never imagined I’d go back out. We had beer in the house from a recent party which happened on occasion but had never been an issue for me. That day I wondered what it would be like to have a beer, what it tasted like, and after all the time that had passed without craving alcohol, assumed I’d be fine. I drank for 7 years. It got bad in many ways. I decided to stop. I read this site daily, changed friends, established multiple healthy lifestyle habits. I’ve been sober 34 months and plan to continue to be sober one day at a time. I cherish every sober day and take nothing for granted.

Contella09

I drink because...I am lonely. I feel sad about my life too. I feel that life is against me. Sometimes it's easier to throw in the towel. Other days are good but alcohol always ends up being a part of the equation.

Why... everytime I stop drinking do I get so many offers to go out or people gifting me a bottle of wine as a thank you. I usually think it's the dark side that's out for me. No other way to explain my experience when I try and quit in my mind. It's full force..it's in my face.

I don't mean to think too much into it but at times I feel doomed. It's there on my doorstep.

I am with you on not wanting to do a poll but sometimes I guess some people just need to understand why in their own way. Try and understand the best way they can so they can navigate it. I have lots of questions. Some I would never voice but only ask when I pray

Contella09

I won't end up answering your question in a uniform way but I will try and explain from start to finish of my recovery.

It started with a not so structured life. Moved around a lot and I didn't know how to cope. It doesn't help when you have a dad that treats you like a friend instead of a daughter.

My dad allowed my drinking from 11. Walks on the beach age 11. Raves on the street in Belgium. Paople looked and asked me. How old are you?. I was free in one way. But I was also a built in babysitter for my 3 siblings. I had to grow up and fast. Dad worked away and when home it's play time.

I look at my children who are 15 and 11 and the thought of offering this is never a thought in my head. I can't understand what my dad was thinking or doing.

But here I am at 37 feeling like the devil is out for me Everytime I try an live life right. That's a sad thought. Some would say dalusional or paranoid. In my head I am fighting a force. I am good I know but alcohol is a powerful force. Why is it? Why!!!! Why was I the unlucky one. Is a higher power trying to tell me I am meant for greater things. Live and learn these lessons for a reason? I don't know why. I know life isn't fair and I don't think it's my fault. Unfortunate..predetermined because of my dad? Who knows?all I know is my own worth. I care about myself enough to try. Even if I continue to abuse my body in the process I will keep learning ways to stop. At least I tried and cared enough about myself. That's what it boils down to. Our own worth in our minds and the strength we get along the way. It's a learning process

Contella09

I know "functioning alcoholics" I know they may never stop. Call it a 6th sense. They don't see a problem. Most probably will never see a problem and if alcohol causes a problem it's not their fault. They are high functioning so no one questions it.

I am way too emotional and empathetic to ever be a functioning alcoholic. i get too deep. There are all types of different people not just different alcoholics. Some people never even experience depression. I can't fathom it. But ex hubby told me that and he drinks whisky and vodka straight from the bottle. It makes me cringe. People are different. They see life differently.

Contella09

Stop now please and use your good qualities to help people. You have a good heart and a great mind. I love reading your stories even though I know you are actively using. But you are so much better than that. You are brave being in a different country and it feels lonely maybe? Try and make it count.
that's what I am going to do whatever I do. Make it count. I am no longer shocked who comes in and out of my life. I am grateful because I learn

Thesaviour

I just love a bit of audience participation me

Yes, John, because this thread is the only thing i am doing with my life.

I don't believe in "sobriety" as you may. I frame it differently and I have chosen to embark on a teetotal journey just like that. I'm framing it as an adventure. It is a simple choice. Today I did some packing and it was a little emotional as i still have to chuck out some of my ex's stuff, little bit of anxiety. Well a lot. So a nice 5km walk while listening to Jordan. Got some food on way back. Anxiety still there. Little bit of tidying around. Damn let's do a dumbbell workout and listening to AMS. That done the trick on getting the ex out of my head. Have a shower, trim beard and some maintenance. Make some tea sit down and read a chapter of the unplugged alpha (Richard's story of going through a nasty divorce and then getting cheated on by a single mother he trusted and losing his business and how he overcame it.........inspiring stuff). maybe i will check on Thread.....

Tomorrow I will top up bus pass on way to box gym (haven't got time but it is to be social not only train and see trainer who has been texting asking for me) i will walk 30 mins to gym and 30 mins back. Before going to my job and earning a living so I can pay my bills and pay my debt (which is part of this adventure.....overcoming stuff). I am searching for a new place to live and should have my car back by weekend and will be able to pull off a slight miracle by moving out of this toxic hole. But I need to socialize so Saturday I have signed up for my trecking groups outing. friday I don't work so can clean and pack. saturay trecking and Sunday packing and Monday out of here!! Get paid at end of week and have all of my finances worked out and everything will be paid...

quite productive and hitting the areas that I need hitting in my life.

But go ahead john, please do tell me, what issues am I avoiding in my life? I am all ears. Fascinated that you seem to know more about my life and my needs than me.

Contella09

Maybe a bit harsh.

Thesaviour

Are you talking to me? I'm teetotal baby. According to my application to intoxication in this the third day.

Two cures for loneliness that are already in vision : 1. Spend quality time with self being productive or working out or in nature etc (rather than staring at four walls with a coke in your hand watching youtube) turns into blissful time alone that you don't want disturbed ie putting value on your time 2. Socializing with people who share same goals (boxing and trecking being the two activities for now) When these restrictions get lifted more, I will join salsa and bachata which is a cool social activity, but all in good time.

Right now, reading and listening to "classical musical discoveries", like I said enjoying alone time rather than being lonely. Tomorrow I have to work with people, so I really should make sure my alone time is quality.

This is not a poll. It's experience. When people mention these things which they have being doing I am curious of ages and times etc

Contella09

You are doing the work. Your threads are invaluable. Your truthfullness is priceless.please don't get too mad at people who are trying to help. I know why you were upset reading that but the intention to help was there. Please keep coming back because we need you

Contella09

I need you. We are learning and we are so early on this journey.

Contella09

I am sharing things too . Things I'd never thought I would share. Must be a reason. A problem shared is a problem halved?

2muchpain

This is not an I am right and you are wrong thing. You clearly have all your bases covered so no need go give further advise. John

Contella09

It's like a diary or journal. Document your way through

Thesaviour

I'm in top form I think you read a little too much into my response perhaps.

I'm not upset by anything. I responded and continued reading my book. You judged my response "harsh" when there was no harshness at all. Again I think you are reading too much into the response and pulling out emotion that is not there.

ok I'm bored about this sidetracking hijacking of the thread.

Can we get back on topic and don't worry about me if I want advice I can post another thread. This is not it.

A hug for you both so there is no ill will or harshness taken.

Let's stay focused.

Contella09

I never meant any disrespect.

Contella09

I won't bother you again. I am sorry