b0glerd69

The first few months can be difficult as you suddenly have a lot of time on your hands, time that was spent drinking/hungover. Maybe, to fill the weekends you could look at volunteering in your area? Make a difference, go and work in a food-bank, or for a charity that means something to you? This also introduces new people into your life and some hope and a sense of 'making a difference' in your own, small way.

Dionysos

I’m now suffering from a horrendous gout attack. In the past this wouldn’t have stopped me going down the pub and sinking 8 pints. Pleased I’m not drinking currently although this will have built up over months

tursiops999

Welcome, Dionysos. It's my belief that our addiction will always tell us "we're not that bad yet" and that we should quit later. It's how the addiction keeps itself going -- keeps saying "not now, not yet", so that we'll keep drinking. There are people with very severe health consequences (like need a liver transplant, multiple hospitalizations) whose addiction will still tell them "not yet". There's no end to that game, unless we override our addiction and say, "It's time, Now". It won't get any easier if one waits, it will only do more damage.

Dionysos

All it’s giving me is more of a reason to stop. Although didn’t realise the non alcoholic beers I had are actually just as bad if not worse than the alcoholic ones gout wise!

Obladi

Hi Dionysos,

Your addicted brain is 'toying' with every way it can think of to wheedle you out of the decision to stop drinking permanently. That's natural. I'd say the vast majority of now-sober people recognize what's happening with you. You're not doing it on purpose, exactly - it's just what the addiction does. It needs it's fix. But you don't need the alcohol and you know it, so you know your addiction is flat out lying to you every time 'you' come up with a bargain or disclaimer or any kind of waffle about quitting.

But here's the thing: your addicted brain isn't "toying" - it just wants you to think that. This stuff is deadly serious, man. If you keep drinking, you will assuredly wind up where your brother is and worse. What I found out is that there is no magic bottom. Every time I thought I'd 'hit,' I found another trapdoor that led me further down the long torturous path of this progressive 'disease.'

I'm wondering if you are doing so well with your parents why you couldn't perhaps just stay there? I did some pretty radical things to stay sober in my first year, including staying away from my own place for close to six months. Had to. I had too many starts and stops and starts again - it was killing me in every way. For what it's worth, I didn't have any degree of certainty that I would stay sober forever when I stopped that last time. Still don't. Doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm sober right now. Every. Single. Now.

Get the sports package, don't go to rugby, stay in. Seriously - give this everything you've got. It won't be comfortable but you also will not regret the misery once you're through it. p.s. You can attend AA meetings pretty much around the clock and around the world now via Zoom. The software is free and all you need to do is go to the local AA website to find the meeting links.

O

Dionysos

I have to go back. For work. And just can’t impose myself with them for too long. Like I said it’s an artificial recovery. Going to have to face it. Anyway day 5 done. No withdrawals or cravings.

I’ll be going to rugby with my stepdad who knows my problems so will be supportive of me not drinking. I do realise it’s going to be ten times harder once I’m back to London. Good thing about where I work is there about 3 AA meetings a day within a 10 minute walk from my workplace.

it’s the weekends which will be the most difficult

Dionysos

6 months of non drinking / drinking low weekly amounts (drank 20 units spread over 3 days with 4 non drinking days) should have been a good break and allowed a reset but was back to daily drinking almost immediately. So am thinking about bigger changes, moving back up North but need to do a lot of things to make that happen

Dionysos

It’s very much a London job and no obvious way of finding anything similar. Working from home could potentially be an option (although policy is not to allow it) but then that might not be great either as I like being around people. Was lucky to wrangle two weeks off to go to my parents

Cornishman

Hello. I'm about 5 months sober this time around. The anxiety I've suffered during recent withdrawal periods has been close to unbearable. Unfortunately, it gets worse each time and that makes it harder to stop each time as well - the proverbia vicious circle. However, a lot of the thoughts which cause such misery during withdrawal are either delusional or horrible distortions of reality and they do fade with time; I know that knowing this during withdrawal doesn't help a lot. For me it has taken three months or so this time to achieve some kind of mental health. I'm staying away from the drink this time as I really don't want to go through it again. Hopefully, this time is the last time!

Dionysos

I would have struggled to get to day 1 without bailing out 300 miles north. The anxiety attacks were so horrible you almost felt you couldn’t not drink. Weirdest ever. Swallowing / choking sensations. Not being able to walk 10 metres without hugging the wall or furniture. Thinking you’re going to have heart attack. These would last hours not minutes. Literally stumbled to the pub thinking I wasn’t going to make it and collapse in the street and only managed to make it subside by a couple of pints. Of course I’m self aware enough to know it was also the drink causing it but just couldn’t see a way of getting out of it. I’m not rushing into starting again I promise you that. When you want to not drink more than you want to then you finally have a chance.

fishkiller

Mind over matter.
When I feel a panic attack coming I now know what it is and can almost always talk myself down.

This is MUCH easier sober.

They will never stop as long as you continue to poison yourself.

Dionysos

Just checking into say I got my day 6. It still doesn't seem real and won't do until I get back home so will have to count day x + x. I have had a few cravings, nothing too major but ones I would probably have struggled a lot more with compared to where I am currently staying.

I'm still not confident I'm capable of doing this long term but take heart from the many examples of those that have. I need to get my confidence up for the challenge ahead as am done for at the moment with my negative thoughts and will be lucky to get past a couple of days.

DriGuy

I think confidence in my sobriety came earlier to me than most who are starting out, but I did not have it by day six. It's been a long time since then, but I would have put it at two weeks. Also, confidence is a variable that is probably more often measured on a sliding scale. When someone says they are confident, It may be appropriate to ask, "How confident?" An answer might be given as a percent like 85% or 98%.

biminiblue

Dionysos don't set yourself up for failure here! Lots of people on this site live alone and quit drinking. It's just a matter of filling time in ways that are good instead of ways that are useless like pubs. There are lots of indoor activities with similar comraderie - just find some. I think someone mentioned volunteering and that's a fantastic way to meet people and be useful and produce those feel-good neurotransmitters.

I'm sure there are lots of projects you can do around the house, and for me a daily one hour walk out in Nature is really important for resetting those negative thoughts.

Dionysos

Thanks all. I think I need to forget about the forever bit for now in my head as seems too big a deal. It's almost like I'm planning my own failure. I know I'll get to day 11. Then probably be alright Mon to Thu so thinking the wheels will come off day 15 Fri evening or day 16 Sat. I suppose I've got time to come up with a plan. Plan for during that week is gym, cinema, perhaps an evening AA meeting. Then run out of ideas or at least ones which have some appeal. I do need to clean the flat but staying in all weekend won't do me any good.

fishkiller

In the beginning I filled just about All of my down time here.
Reading mainly and posting when things were rough.

Dionysos

Almost end of day 7. Slight urge to drink but only for around 90 mins

Dionysos

Almost end of day 7. Slight urge to drink but only for around 90 mins

Dee74

Congrats on your week

There’s no reason why this quit xan’t be different to all the other quits. Take an honest look at what you’re doing to stay sober. If you think you need to do more, do more.

Relapse is NOT inevitable

D

Dionysos

To be honest I’ve never tried to quit before. Made a few half hearted efforts to cut down but don’t think I even made much effort to do that.

I just do not want to be in the state I was a week ago. Going to stay away as long as possible and if that’s forever that’s a good result