One Precious Life
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
One Precious Life
I thought I’d stop by tonight for no particular reason but to offer that I think it’s a miracle to be alive. Have you ever stopped to think about it? You happened to be brought into existence, your body created from two other humans, and it grew cell by cell and now it houses you on this planet with an atmosphere that enables life while circling a star in a huge black void. You’re here at the same time as a few billion others, governed by time. Your body won’t last forever, so the time it’s here is all you’ve got. You could lose it all in a multitude of different ways- some that you can prevent and others you can’t. Your one life is lived during your one slice of time.
My life is so different than it was when I was drinking. It’s getting harder and harder to explain the longer I’m sober because what I value has changed and how I value that which I value has changed. I used to read posts written by people who had gotten sober and think of their sobriety as something I could “get” like it could be bought or even achieved. Now I understand that it’s an evolution. Days lead to weeks, to months, to years. It’s mundane and silly and joyous and frustrating - like a soup of all the experiences a human being has in life. It’s reality, waiting for me when I wake up everyday. I make decisions, experience the consequences of those decisions, acknowledge the criteria of my life’s various boundaries, proceed accordingly, take various actions, rinse, and repeat. I don’t drink. Drinking isn’t something that exists for me because these days that have shaped the years that are my life now have not included drinking. My sobriety isn’t something I acquired like I acquire something at a store or even something I achieved like I achieved an education. It’s a state of existence now, hard to describe or delineate. It isn’t a quantity, because it’s a quality. It’s not a thing. It’s a feature of being alive and it’s amazing.
People say “you’re here for a reason” and “everything happens for a reason” with the implicit premise the reason you’re here/(X) happened is mysterious and unknown. I think we are here and everything happens because we are alive. That “reason” isn’t mysterious at all. It’s obvious. “For a reason” can be swapped with “because you’re alive” and “because we’re alive”. What we do with the one life we have IS the reason because it’s done during the time that governs our lives. I am here to do many things. I am not here, alive, to drink in a similar way that I am not here, alive, to be a car or a giraffe. First and foremost I am here to live. I’ve determined based on my experience that living, for me, requires sobriety.
I didn’t start sobriety knowing that I would change so much (even though I heard others say they had) because I didn’t understand how profound that change would be. I was scared of change. (I didn’t even like the word “sobriety” or “sober” very much.) I’m human and change is scary. I was nervous about social situations, and what others would think of me if I stopped drinking, and I had no idea what to do with my time. I was flummoxed by the thought of passing the wine aisle in the grocery store and the cravings were so real and frequent in the beginning. The beginning felt like forever as it unfolded. Five minutes is a really long time when you’re craving a drink, and I know it just as well as you do if you’re experiencing it now or have in the past or will in the future. People here said it would get better when I said it felt hard, and they said the same thing when I said it was going well. “Keep going, it gets even better”. “One day at a time”. “Practice gratitude”. They were right.
Your life happens once, right now, just as mine does. The differences, and details, don’t matter. Whatever can compel you to finish the day without drinking or using whatever substance is interfering with your life is the right thing. Maybe it’s your kids today, and next week it’s the feeling of not being hung over, and on another day maybe it’s just habit. For me it was gratitude, even though Ioften sometimes annoyed myself doing it. There will be bad days and good days and unmemorable days and weird, surreal days. Those days are the days of your life, your one precious life. You won’t feel horrible forever and you can change your course by staying on the course of not drinking, one day at a time.
The only person living your one life is… you. You can live your days sober starting right now. It’s really that simple. I’ve been doing it for over five years now. It’s become me, living my life, and when I stop every once in awhile, like I did tonight, and think about it, being alive is a miracle.
xoxo
bexxed
My life is so different than it was when I was drinking. It’s getting harder and harder to explain the longer I’m sober because what I value has changed and how I value that which I value has changed. I used to read posts written by people who had gotten sober and think of their sobriety as something I could “get” like it could be bought or even achieved. Now I understand that it’s an evolution. Days lead to weeks, to months, to years. It’s mundane and silly and joyous and frustrating - like a soup of all the experiences a human being has in life. It’s reality, waiting for me when I wake up everyday. I make decisions, experience the consequences of those decisions, acknowledge the criteria of my life’s various boundaries, proceed accordingly, take various actions, rinse, and repeat. I don’t drink. Drinking isn’t something that exists for me because these days that have shaped the years that are my life now have not included drinking. My sobriety isn’t something I acquired like I acquire something at a store or even something I achieved like I achieved an education. It’s a state of existence now, hard to describe or delineate. It isn’t a quantity, because it’s a quality. It’s not a thing. It’s a feature of being alive and it’s amazing.
People say “you’re here for a reason” and “everything happens for a reason” with the implicit premise the reason you’re here/(X) happened is mysterious and unknown. I think we are here and everything happens because we are alive. That “reason” isn’t mysterious at all. It’s obvious. “For a reason” can be swapped with “because you’re alive” and “because we’re alive”. What we do with the one life we have IS the reason because it’s done during the time that governs our lives. I am here to do many things. I am not here, alive, to drink in a similar way that I am not here, alive, to be a car or a giraffe. First and foremost I am here to live. I’ve determined based on my experience that living, for me, requires sobriety.
I didn’t start sobriety knowing that I would change so much (even though I heard others say they had) because I didn’t understand how profound that change would be. I was scared of change. (I didn’t even like the word “sobriety” or “sober” very much.) I’m human and change is scary. I was nervous about social situations, and what others would think of me if I stopped drinking, and I had no idea what to do with my time. I was flummoxed by the thought of passing the wine aisle in the grocery store and the cravings were so real and frequent in the beginning. The beginning felt like forever as it unfolded. Five minutes is a really long time when you’re craving a drink, and I know it just as well as you do if you’re experiencing it now or have in the past or will in the future. People here said it would get better when I said it felt hard, and they said the same thing when I said it was going well. “Keep going, it gets even better”. “One day at a time”. “Practice gratitude”. They were right.
Your life happens once, right now, just as mine does. The differences, and details, don’t matter. Whatever can compel you to finish the day without drinking or using whatever substance is interfering with your life is the right thing. Maybe it’s your kids today, and next week it’s the feeling of not being hung over, and on another day maybe it’s just habit. For me it was gratitude, even though I
The only person living your one life is… you. You can live your days sober starting right now. It’s really that simple. I’ve been doing it for over five years now. It’s become me, living my life, and when I stop every once in awhile, like I did tonight, and think about it, being alive is a miracle.
xoxo
bexxed
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,157
Bexxed; there is so much in your post that resonates with me that I feel like I already knew you. But the following jumped out at me, because I've never brought this up to anyone, even though I've been aware of it for so long:
In the course of our lives, we interact with others constantly, and those interactions offer us learning opportunities. What can happen at any given moment is infinite, and while most encounters are of a fluffy meaningless nature, the probability of a very meaningful life changing opportunity is near 100% over the course of time. If there is a reason for this to occur it is because we are looking and listening for it. And when we need it, there is a high probability that someone will be there at sometime who can show you the way, as long as you remain receptive and alert. This is not a miracle. It's what happens because "we are alive "and interact. And it's more apt to happen when you are sober and clear headed, or in some cases, because you are desperate.
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you stay awhile. I enjoy reading your insights.
Originally Posted by bexxed 
People say “you’re here for a reason” and “everything happens for a reason” with the implicit premise the reason you’re here/(X) happened is mysterious and unknown. I think we are here and everything happens because we are alive. That “reason” isn’t mysterious at all. It’s obvious.
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you stay awhile. I enjoy reading your insights.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Posts: 1,236
Originally Posted by DriGuy
In the course of our lives, we interact with others constantly, and those interactions offer us learning opportunities. What can happen at any given moment is infinite, and while most encounters are of a fluffy meaningless nature, the probability of a very meaningful life changing opportunity is near 100% over the course of time. If there is a reason for this to occur it is because we are looking and listening for it. And when we need it, there is a high probability that someone will be there at sometime who can show you the way, as long as you remain receptive and alert. This is not a miracle. It's what happens because "we are alive "and interact. And it's more apt to happen when you are sober and clear headed, or in some cases, because you are desperate.
yes! Somebody or some thing. A phenomenon, perhaps, a sequence of events. Have a wonderful day. -b
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,352
Yea! Bexxed.
The thoughts you started out with I think about a lot. Sometimes it can get easy to get down about what I put myself through and all the time wasted. I could get down about what my parents put me through and all the opportunities wasted. But Im alive and the odds against that are astounding. Any time I have is a gift and whats behind me doesn't matter anymore.
The thoughts you started out with I think about a lot. Sometimes it can get easy to get down about what I put myself through and all the time wasted. I could get down about what my parents put me through and all the opportunities wasted. But Im alive and the odds against that are astounding. Any time I have is a gift and whats behind me doesn't matter anymore.
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