I feel so lost
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 1
I feel so lost
Hi
Grateful to find your forum. I ended my relationship for good today with my alcoholic partner. I tried a few times before but I naively fell for the false promises to seek help. Since promising to go to counseling, he’s gone once.
I realized he went once to appease me. He’s not ready. It’s all so cliche, I’m embarrassed I lasted a year with him. He was my first relationship since my separation four years ago. He and I both left abusive relationships. We have so much fun when he’s sober. He is such an amazing, loving, caring partner. But like clock work every four weeks he goes on a bender and turns into this cruel, verbally abusive person for like four days. I can’t do it anymore. I will always come second to his addiction. He comes from a long line of family alcoholics and codependents. He may never recover. But today I promised myself and my kids we deserve to be healthy. I don't come from a family with addictions. This has been a real heartbreaking eye opener.
My logical mind knows he is sick. I cannot help him but my heart is broken. I know he loves me but his addiction is stronger than his love for me. Thank you for reading. I look forward to learning from your responses.
Grateful to find your forum. I ended my relationship for good today with my alcoholic partner. I tried a few times before but I naively fell for the false promises to seek help. Since promising to go to counseling, he’s gone once.
I realized he went once to appease me. He’s not ready. It’s all so cliche, I’m embarrassed I lasted a year with him. He was my first relationship since my separation four years ago. He and I both left abusive relationships. We have so much fun when he’s sober. He is such an amazing, loving, caring partner. But like clock work every four weeks he goes on a bender and turns into this cruel, verbally abusive person for like four days. I can’t do it anymore. I will always come second to his addiction. He comes from a long line of family alcoholics and codependents. He may never recover. But today I promised myself and my kids we deserve to be healthy. I don't come from a family with addictions. This has been a real heartbreaking eye opener.
My logical mind knows he is sick. I cannot help him but my heart is broken. I know he loves me but his addiction is stronger than his love for me. Thank you for reading. I look forward to learning from your responses.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi and welcome Charlie.
I'm sorry for whats happened but you have good reason for ending it I think. Its hard when there's another party in the relationship, even when that third element is addiction
Its good you found us tho - you will find support and understanding both here and in our Family and Friends forums too.
You're not alone
D
I'm sorry for whats happened but you have good reason for ending it I think. Its hard when there's another party in the relationship, even when that third element is addiction
Its good you found us tho - you will find support and understanding both here and in our Family and Friends forums too.
You're not alone
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by Charlie2021 
Hi
Grateful to find your forum. I ended my relationship for good today with my alcoholic partner. I tried a few times before but I naively fell for the false promises to seek help. Since promising to go to counseling, he’s gone once.
I realized he went once to appease me. He’s not ready. It’s all so cliche, I’m embarrassed I lasted a year with him. He was my first relationship since my separation four years ago. He and I both left abusive relationships. We have so much fun when he’s sober. He is such an amazing, loving, caring partner. But like clock work every four weeks he goes on a bender and turns into this cruel, verbally abusive person for like four days. I can’t do it anymore. I will always come second to his addiction. He comes from a long line of family alcoholics and codependents. He may never recover. But today I promised myself and my kids we deserve to be healthy. I don't come from a family with addictions. This has been a real heartbreaking eye opener.
My logical mind knows he is sick. I cannot help him but my heart is broken. I know he loves me but his addiction is stronger than his love for me. Thank you for reading. I look forward to learning from your responses.
Grateful to find your forum. I ended my relationship for good today with my alcoholic partner. I tried a few times before but I naively fell for the false promises to seek help. Since promising to go to counseling, he’s gone once.
I realized he went once to appease me. He’s not ready. It’s all so cliche, I’m embarrassed I lasted a year with him. He was my first relationship since my separation four years ago. He and I both left abusive relationships. We have so much fun when he’s sober. He is such an amazing, loving, caring partner. But like clock work every four weeks he goes on a bender and turns into this cruel, verbally abusive person for like four days. I can’t do it anymore. I will always come second to his addiction. He comes from a long line of family alcoholics and codependents. He may never recover. But today I promised myself and my kids we deserve to be healthy. I don't come from a family with addictions. This has been a real heartbreaking eye opener.
My logical mind knows he is sick. I cannot help him but my heart is broken. I know he loves me but his addiction is stronger than his love for me. Thank you for reading. I look forward to learning from your responses.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Welcome to the forum, Charlie!
Sorry about to hear you are going through this.
It's hard to see close people losing addiction battle, but that is the situation when it's required to put your oxygen mask first. Being in abusive relationships is a threat for both mental and physical health.
Glad you've found is - this forum is a great place for help and support.
There is also a special part of the forum for friends and families of alcoholics.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
Keep posting)
Sorry about to hear you are going through this.
It's hard to see close people losing addiction battle, but that is the situation when it's required to put your oxygen mask first. Being in abusive relationships is a threat for both mental and physical health.
Glad you've found is - this forum is a great place for help and support.
There is also a special part of the forum for friends and families of alcoholics.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
Keep posting)
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Hi Charlie. I am familiar with the despair you're feeling. I had to let go of a wonderful man many years ago. He was never able to get free of it, even though losing me broke his heart.
I hope reading & posting here will help you to no longer feel alone. We care.
I hope reading & posting here will help you to no longer feel alone. We care.
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