Horses for Courses - Weekenders 15 - 18 October 2021
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
Originally Posted by Kaily 
I feel like it reflects on me. I think his neighbours or appointments at hospital must wonder why I don't do anything.
He just makes me so uncomfortable in so many ways. Always has done.
He just makes me so uncomfortable in so many ways. Always has done.
Its hard dealing with a loved one who has mental issues, cos this is what it is.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Thanks everyone. I know he is not 'normal', sadly he doesn't. He went into a rant yesterday about me leaving my tv on standby and wasted electric. He turns my lights out. He sits in the cold and dark in his own home to save money. He is financially stable.
I have let him get into my head again. And yes it does make me relive childhood traumas where I had no escape from him and his obsessive, aggressive, nasty and coercive ways.
I have let him get into my head again. And yes it does make me relive childhood traumas where I had no escape from him and his obsessive, aggressive, nasty and coercive ways.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,416
Kaily, I hope you can come to better terms with it. With my dad, I always felt as though I needed to be on the defensive. I knew that he was struggling with maintaining any sort of control, which was what he most wanted, because of failing health and mental state, and that was causing him to want to tighten his control of me even more. Even realizing that, there is no way in that situation to not feel as though you are under attack. I hope that you can have more peace with it.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Kaily, my heart goes out to you.
It's honestly beyond my understanding my it is considered to be "normal" for parents to treat children as their speechless property who is supposed to put up with any abusive behaviour, just because "I am your mother/father".
Been there.
As hard as it is emotionally is, you have to find a way to protect your emotional health. Hugs.
It's honestly beyond my understanding my it is considered to be "normal" for parents to treat children as their speechless property who is supposed to put up with any abusive behaviour, just because "I am your mother/father".
Been there.
As hard as it is emotionally is, you have to find a way to protect your emotional health. Hugs.
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,644
My mum was very controlling over me. I thought I’d escape her when I got married but no, she had a tight grip on the umbilical.
I got wet through yesterday leaving the hospital, it was bucketing it down and for most of the rest of the day!
Be good if we had a switch for it Saou.
I got wet through yesterday leaving the hospital, it was bucketing it down and for most of the rest of the day!
Be good if we had a switch for it Saou.
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,644
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