Rant.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 132
Rant.
Morning all, hope you all enjoyed the weekend. We had beautiful weather here where I live, so maybe I should just focus on something positive like that 
Please send this forum post to whichever forum it best fits... I didn't know where to post it, as I don't really know if it's relevant to early sobriety, or what.
It has been a little over SEVEN MONTHS since I got sober! I am still in shock, and awe that we can actually put down the bottle. The good things keep piling up. I can't say that I've even had a "bad day" since getting sober, because comparing each one to the hell that I was in beforehand makes these days seem heavenly. Active alcoholism really is such a cyclical hell.
A week or so ago, I found out that my daughter's dad has been filing her on his taxes as his dependent. We do not share custody, and he sees her once every couple of months for an overnight, and then returns her to me in clothes that are too small, covered in dog and cat fur, all stuffed up because she's allergic. He feeds her pizza and soda. She doesn't brush her teeth, hair, or shower while she's over at his house. You see where I'm going with this. He has never paid child support. He has committed insurance fraud, lied to police, and last I knew owed a TON of money to a lot of people/companies.
It's no surprise that he's claiming her as his dependent.
Recently, I applied for the child tax credit because I am struggling financially a bit. That's how I learned that she has already been claimed, so she and I don't qualify for the child tax credit. If I mention this to him, he will get his parents to hire lawyers. It's not even worth the fight it'll cause.
When we were together, he beat me severely, he lied, and cheated on me. I could go on and name more things, but I'm pretty sure that no one wants to hear about those horrid experiences.
Anyhow, point being is that sometimes when I think about all of this, it weighs on me. It's weird to actually FEEL! I used to numb things out so incredibly much, that when I finally stopped drinking, having actual feelings, and feeling them all the way through wasn't the easiest thing to do. It's hard!
What do some of you do when situations like this arise?
I've heard someone say, "if you want to change the world, go for a walk." Walks help. Being out in nature helps. Gosh, anything is better than being drunk again. When I've told my friends this, they jump on high gear and advise me to lawyer up, fight the fight, etc... I'm tired of fighting the fight. Every fight I've fought with this scumbag has not turned out well. Even after he beat the crap out of me for the second to last time, I brought him to court. I had pictures, texts from him where he was threatening me, and bruises and missing hair. The judge (female, at that) told my lawyer that I have nothing to worry about, that he's not a threat to me or my child. Those words exactly. He is an ex cop. I'm fairly certain that he has connections in the courthouse.
Anyhow, you all have definitely read enough to annoy anyone. Thanks for listening, and for being here.
Sometimes it gets hard.
Please send this forum post to whichever forum it best fits... I didn't know where to post it, as I don't really know if it's relevant to early sobriety, or what.
It has been a little over SEVEN MONTHS since I got sober! I am still in shock, and awe that we can actually put down the bottle. The good things keep piling up. I can't say that I've even had a "bad day" since getting sober, because comparing each one to the hell that I was in beforehand makes these days seem heavenly. Active alcoholism really is such a cyclical hell.
A week or so ago, I found out that my daughter's dad has been filing her on his taxes as his dependent. We do not share custody, and he sees her once every couple of months for an overnight, and then returns her to me in clothes that are too small, covered in dog and cat fur, all stuffed up because she's allergic. He feeds her pizza and soda. She doesn't brush her teeth, hair, or shower while she's over at his house. You see where I'm going with this. He has never paid child support. He has committed insurance fraud, lied to police, and last I knew owed a TON of money to a lot of people/companies.
It's no surprise that he's claiming her as his dependent.
Recently, I applied for the child tax credit because I am struggling financially a bit. That's how I learned that she has already been claimed, so she and I don't qualify for the child tax credit. If I mention this to him, he will get his parents to hire lawyers. It's not even worth the fight it'll cause.
When we were together, he beat me severely, he lied, and cheated on me. I could go on and name more things, but I'm pretty sure that no one wants to hear about those horrid experiences.
Anyhow, point being is that sometimes when I think about all of this, it weighs on me. It's weird to actually FEEL! I used to numb things out so incredibly much, that when I finally stopped drinking, having actual feelings, and feeling them all the way through wasn't the easiest thing to do. It's hard!
What do some of you do when situations like this arise?
I've heard someone say, "if you want to change the world, go for a walk." Walks help. Being out in nature helps. Gosh, anything is better than being drunk again. When I've told my friends this, they jump on high gear and advise me to lawyer up, fight the fight, etc... I'm tired of fighting the fight. Every fight I've fought with this scumbag has not turned out well. Even after he beat the crap out of me for the second to last time, I brought him to court. I had pictures, texts from him where he was threatening me, and bruises and missing hair. The judge (female, at that) told my lawyer that I have nothing to worry about, that he's not a threat to me or my child. Those words exactly. He is an ex cop. I'm fairly certain that he has connections in the courthouse.
Anyhow, you all have definitely read enough to annoy anyone. Thanks for listening, and for being here.
Sometimes it gets hard.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
I’m sorry WindPines.
I would think that someone making false claims from the Government would not be above the law regardless of occupation, money or connections but maybe I’m naive.
I do have a lot of experience dealing with unfairness, and things I cannot change, things that upset me, frustrate me and bring me down.
I have to remind myself of the many things I’m grateful for, including the fact I’m sober and my life is immeasurably better than it used to be.
I would not swap this life for the one I used to have - not for anything.
D
ps I may be naive but I’m not stupid. What would happen if you claimed the tax credits, with the necessary documentation to prove your claim? Wouldn’t your ex have to prove his claims?
D
I would think that someone making false claims from the Government would not be above the law regardless of occupation, money or connections but maybe I’m naive.
I do have a lot of experience dealing with unfairness, and things I cannot change, things that upset me, frustrate me and bring me down.
I have to remind myself of the many things I’m grateful for, including the fact I’m sober and my life is immeasurably better than it used to be.
I would not swap this life for the one I used to have - not for anything.
D
ps I may be naive but I’m not stupid. What would happen if you claimed the tax credits, with the necessary documentation to prove your claim? Wouldn’t your ex have to prove his claims?
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
The IRS has a process to prove you are the rightful beneficiary of the tax credit. No way should you let that scumbag claim it, especially since YOU HAVE PRIMARY CUSTODY. You really should do this because there are now several credits and financial benefits that you will receive, since the Biden administration has added more. This is not something that goes through local jurisdiction - it is a Federal matter, and tax fraud IS A FEDERAL CRIME. Having said that you need to make sure you are safe.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
I've heard someone say, "if you want to change the world, go for a walk."
Congrats on the 7+ months and hold onto the shock and awe that sobriety is atctually doable. I have been sober for a few years now and am still amazed!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,761
Congrats on seven months sober! 
And if I were you, I'd get some advice regarding the child tax credit, cause you can prove she's in your custody and not his. He is not legally entitled to claim her. This is a fight you can win.
And if I were you, I'd get some advice regarding the child tax credit, cause you can prove she's in your custody and not his. He is not legally entitled to claim her. This is a fight you can win. 
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