Lixie

No, the title is wrong. Tell me why I HAVE TO quit. I'm sick and tired of drinking, and I want to stop. I just can't find the strength to do it, and I hate that. Could you please tell me why quitting is the best thing I can do for myself and my family? Pretty please?

UNITE4STRENGTH

Simply, so that you feel much better about yourself and about life. I had quite a big chunk of sober time recently, and more latterly a little bit of sober time. I drank yesterday and don't feel great today. We both deserve to FEEL much BETTER. I am with you, so tired of it too. Want my 90 days and onward to multiple years now more than anything. I'm going to stay close to these forums. I've created a daily log for myself to help me stay focused until Christmas! I hope you find the courage to make this your Day 1. If I never drink again, this will be my day 1 too......wanna join me?!! U4S 🇬🇧

Lixie

Yes! I wanna join you! And thanks for answering!

UNITE4STRENGTH

🙂🌟🤍☕🙏🏻

DriGuy

I don't know what to say in regards to why you have to quit. First, no one has to quit. Sobriety is a choice, just as drinking is a choice. You get to choose what you want to do, and you always get to choose, although in the grip of alcoholism it may not seem like a choice, but it is, and that cannot be overstated. Granted, it is not an easy choice at first.

But the choice becomes easier with time. This is both a blessing and a curse, because you never lose the ability to choose to drink, and when we start to feel over it, many of us have made that choice to take a drink under the false assumption that we are actually over it. We do this even when everyone tells us over and over, that we will never be able to control our drinking. It's like everyone thinks they are going to be the exception to the rule, and we will keep failing over and over making the same mistake.

I think it's better to address the concern in your OP by saying that sobriety opens up some wonderful alternatives in life. Not all at once! The change will be more gradual as you grow. Although at first, many of us (not all) experience what we call the pink cloud. It's a wonderful heady experience, but seldom permanent. Actual peace and contentment comes later.

You don't have to do it, but it's up to you to decide if sobriety is what you really want. I have found surprisingly that it's much more than I wanted, although I wouldn't give any of it up for a million dollars now that I have experienced it.

doggonecarl

You have the strength. If you put as much effort into recovery as you currently put into drinking, you'll get sober. You are plenty strong. You are just using it to protect your addiction.

Coming here is a great step in getting that strength back for sobriety.

ClearPath64

Because you want to be the best version of yourself. Because drinking dulls your true colors. Because alcohol wants to keep you anchored to your past. Those are just a few of a million reasons why.

Free2bme888

Agree with DriGuy.


The good news is You don’t HAVE to, and don’t should on yourself.

CHOOSING sobriety is a life saver for many people, including me.

You already know the answer in your opener about whether you want to choose sobriety, yes?

SparkleKitty

I'm the daughter of an alcoholic mother and a codependent father. I can give you about a thousand reasons why your family would do anything for you to quit, but in my experience I can tell you that trying to quit for others was never enough motivation for either my mother or, later, my ex-boyfriend, who is also an alcoholic. I spent many years being angry at everyone (mostly myself, for not being "enough" for either of them to quit for) before I finally accepted that their addictions had nothing to do with me, and since then I have just sent all the vibes into the universe I have in the hopes that one day, either of them would see, as I saw, that they were worthy of sobriety. That they deserved to live life on life's terms and find the strength inherent in all humans to face those challenges without a buffer, and to really shine and grow in their own health, wellness, full-throttled emotions, and relationships with those who love them. In spite of how they both treated me as their addictions worked to protect itself, I still believe that fundamental truth: we are all worthy, we all deserve love, but that that love has to start from within.

My mother eventually quit drinking but never really found the courage to recover. I still hold out hope for my ex, though I haven't been able to be in contact with him for over a decade in order to protect my own boundaries. I hope your journey will be different, and I'm rooting for you.

Mizz

You dont have to quit. You can carry on feeling terrible. Its your choice.

If you are sick and tired of drinking then that is ONE reason to quit. Another reason is to be free from active addiction.
To have better health. A stronger sense of self. A more stable self. More money. Opportunity. Physical well being. Mental Well being. Emotional well being. Spiritual Well being.

Its your choice entirely. No one can talk you into sobriety.
Least says "you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink"
I believe that is the truest statement around.

Evoo

What are your circumstances? I can only tell you from personal experience that quitting has made me a better person, better husband, father, friend, employee, grad student, home cook, gardener, photographer and more. Alcohol saps energy from you and steals your time and motivation to live well.

lessgravity

Because a better life is just waiting for you to seize it.

SuficintCrlsns

Wow. I don't think I've ever heard addiction summed up so successfully in such a few amount of words. I love this!

Great advice Carl, I wish someone would have said this to me when I was in the thick of it. But then again, if I would have came here then, maybe you would have.

SC

ScottFromWI

We can certainly give you a laundry list of reasons why you should quit, and you have already defined several right in your own post ( you are sick of it, your family is sick of it, etc ). I would be willing to bet that if you went back and read some of your older posts here you'd find lots of reasons too.

Bottom line though, none of us can make you quit - continuing to drink is a choice, just as quitting is. Maybe you should make a list for yourself - just get a piece of paper and on one side, list the advantages of continuing to drink, and on the other side the advantages to quitting. If you really want some serious feedback that hits home, take the list and share it with your family and allow them to add their thoughts.

And as others have said, you don't HAVE to quit - no one does. Plenty of people keep right on drinking despite all the negative consequences. But what you do have to accept is that if you keep drinking, you own all the consequences of your decision to do so. And that list of consequences will continue to grow in frequency, severity and scope.

On the flip side, I made the choice to finally quit when I was in my early 40s - after a solid 2 decades of everyday drinking. I did a tremendous amount of damage to my body, my mind, and the people around me during those times. A lot of people gave me very similar advice to what you are asking for today during those years, and I didn't listen to any of it. Even after all that, getting sober was a life changing experience and probably the best lifestyle decision I could have ever made. Every facet of my life is better now because of it - and yours can be too if you really want it to be.

D122y

The way I got clean is understanding it is a chemical alteration and recovering back to normal hurt. Call it what you want, unwinding, relaxing, having fun, lamenting, grieving, mad, fighting with wife etc etc. I used to make up reasons to drink on the way home from work.

That is all.

I was a heavy binger. Getting better took a few years to really show through for my head. Other folks couldn't tell I was suffering, it was all internal. I had to fake being ok for a long long long time. I still fake being ok in some situations. I am an addict for life. Any decision to drink, no matter how small, is a relapse. Booze is poison, I hate the stuff.

That is really all.

Thanks.

least

I finally quit for good when I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I was sick to death of waking up feeling horrible and hating myself/wishing I was dead. I was sick to death of always being too drunk or sick to do anything useful.

Now I wake up feeling good (not counting my recent backache) and I don't hate myself anymore. I have my self respect back and the respect of my kids. To have my daughters' respect and trust means the world to me.

I hope you'll decide to get sober. It really opens up your life to good things.

venuscat

Lixie honey ~ as you said earlier today: you want your life back.
Well, you actually said that you need your life to change.
We know how to change it...we know where our truth is. ❤️

Hodd

Very much my thoughts. Drinkers are having their lives robbed by alcohol, and most don’t realise until it’s too late. A reformed drinker aka an alcoholic in remission, which I’d categorise myself as, gets a second chance, and it’s great. I’m not anti-alcohol, and if others can truly moderate, that’s great, but when I see heavy drinkers in a pub, they have my sympathy.

VikingGF

Maybe you'd like to get off the roller-coaster of guilt and shame. Maybe you don't want to wake up filled with dread, a pounding heart, a heavy head and no motivation. Maybe you want to stop worrying about what you did/said/wrote/ate last night because you don't remember any of it. Maybe you don't want to hide your behavior any longer. Maybe you no longer want to be a slave to a substance that only wants to kill you. Maybe you DO want to be proud of yourself and part of your loved ones' lives and make a positive contribution.

This was my thinking, anyway. We all have our reasons for getting sober, only you know yours, but I'll bet a bunch of us shared them all at one point or another. Welcome to SR and I'm so glad you came.

listae

Lixie, I just turned 50. Both my parents are circa 80 and in late stages of serious numero-degenrative disease. My father has dementia and I live with him (and my mom). There is a clear scientific correlation between early on-set chronic disease, especially dementia, and alcohol consumption. Even "normal," regular drinkers are at more risk.

I see my father lost, unable to go to control his urine, and in need of basic assistance for every daily activity. Neither of my parents are alcoholics but they did not take care of themselves. They had other compulsive behaviors which contributed to their diseases. They did not listen to good advice.

After turning fifty in July, I binged and drank for three months straight. I probably charged on high interest credit-cards what could have been a year of retirement savings by sixty. I lost my job. I didn't finish my work. I let people down. I lost total control and couldn't even remember where I parked my car a few hours before going on a bender. Although I have 25 days sober now, my liver is still pickled from drinking. I used to be a healthy weight. Now, I'm fifty and obese.

So, I agree with DriGuy. Getting sober is a choice. On August 31, I decided to join the September class. SR actually helped me achieve the longest run in sobriety that I've ever had (five months). Before, I was a revolving door in sobriety. I simply found any rationalization TO DRINK. I WANTED TO DRINK EVERY DAY AND DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANY CONSEQUENCES TO ANYONE.

I'm very new: I only have 25 days. I do it 1 hour at a time. I'm still very vulnerable to the idea of drinking...."I'm just going to have one." But in 25 days sober, I have achieved saving a little bit of money. My credit card is not maxed out from September benders. I have a new job offer. I've lost 3.5 pounds without exercise. I can write again. My loved ones worry less about me. My loved ones are starting to trust me.

So, I can't tell you why you should not drink. But, like you, I just turned 50. I know that I don't want to die or lose my senses because of drinking. 50 is not a joke.