Hodd

It’ll be 1000 days this coming Monday 🙂

My last drink was on a plane somewhere over Asia on New Years Eve 2018/9. I’d cut down a lot in 2018 and had turned my life around healthwise, but I was still craving and drinking every day. I was/am clearly alcohol dependent and realised, with some heartbreak if I’m honest, that quitting was my only option. Those evenings during the first weeks of withdrawal were pretty grim. I was anxious, bored and could barely sleep, but looking back it was just a few weeks of discomfort. I remember on day 55 having a family problem and the craving kicked in big time. If I’d had beers in the house, I’d have drunk for sure. After three months, I then had a trip to Germany which was one big trigger, but I’d had some sober time so didn’t succumb.

My “big secret” in all this was to get a life. As a drinker, I was a dull individual. I’d watch TV or surf the Internet with my beers. I took up exercise initially to lose weight, but that opened up a whole new life. I’m now in a couple of sports clubs and even do triathlons to a reasonable level. This is the guy who had a BMI of 32 (obese) and high blood pressure at the end of 2017! I didn’t need any blood pressure pills . I needed to lose the 50lbs and gain some confidence. I’m always nervous when others try and quit without changing anything else in their lives.

It’s not been all fairy tale stuff since 2018. I had a career change and retrained as a teacher. Whilst I passed and am on paper a qualified teacher, the amount of work I’d have to do to function in that role is unsustainable. I saw younger trainees smashing it and had to be realistic about my ability. I’m really upset not to still be teaching, and I miss the funny and naughty kids. Don’t be too sympathetic, though, as I had an old career to go back to which pays well but isn’t fulfilling in the least. My marriage suffered terribly whilst I was a drinker - I was an absolute ar5ehole - and there is still left over resentment unfortunately. I always say look to the future, but I obviously wish I’d quit a decade earlier and not lost those ten years.

My cravings come and go but are never as strong as during my drinking days. I haven’t had a craving for months now which is great. As alcoholics, we’re never cured, just in remission, and I’m under no illusion here. If I drink again, my sad boring previous existence will be back along with those 50lbs. Why others can’t accept defeat and insist on attempting to moderate is hard to understand.

So here’s to the next 1000 days. I didn’t want to paint a perfect picture, but the improvements in health, confidence and social life have been shocking. All I had to do was admit defeat and get a life.

Jupiter11

Wow a thousand days. Amazing post

C0ntr0ls

Congrats!

Haris2014

Well done hodd...wise words as always

Kaily

Huge Congratulations

Hodd

Thanks Haris, I wouldn’t say I’m wise, just got lucky albeit later in life than I should have. I should’ve added that I had a fatty liver diagnosed. This cleared up within months of quitting, but I reckon I was heading for cirrhosis two years or so down the line. A friend of my wife’s has alcohol-related cirrhosis. This person needs a liver transplant to stay alive, and right now their life is one you wouldn’t wish on anyone. I’m one lucky guy to have dodged that bullet. I’m in my early 50s and in great health. What a second chance I’ve been given. Life really can be turned around if people change their lives, stop making excuses and quitting for good 🙂

Dee74

1000 days is a great achievement Hodd. Congrats!
Thanks too for your contributions here.

D

BackandScared

Congratulations Hodd

Robbie64

Congratulations Hodd on 1,000 days. Thanks for your post, it's very inspiring.

Hodd

Thanks Robbie, hope you get there soon. It sounds like you’ll have a great life up in “Toon” when you kick this thing. Lot of positivity 🙂

fishkiller

Great Work man!!

Congrats!


I agree 100% this is a whole life change. Just not drinking is just the tip of the iceberg.

DriGuy

Congratulations on 1000.

Hodd

Thanks, FK.

It’s a nasty rollercoaster ride at first. To start with, the drinker’s already feeling down about drinking too much. Then comes the withdrawals, and the body and mind go into free fall. Every cell of the body is crying for out one drink to stop the torment. It’s no great surprise that so many relapse in those first few days. If a healthy non-drinker felt that unwell, they’d have a serious illness going on. But if those early weeks can be ridden out with chocolate, ice cream, red bull - totally disgusting stuff but nowhere near as bad as alcohol - unimaginable good times will follow.

I probably come across as some go getter life and soul type. Forget that thought! I’m still socially awkward and struggle to strike up a conversation, but I’m a way more positive and friendly person now. I never saw that coming when I decided to quit.

novips

Congratulations on 1000 days! A few things jumped out at me:

You say, "My 'big secret' in all this was to get a life." I hope you'll keep in mind that "getting a life" won't be sufficient for some alcoholics. In my experience, there is a type of alcoholic who can only get sober by fully submitting to the recovery program in Alcoholics Anonymous.

You say, "If I drink again, my sad boring previous existence will be back along with those 50lbs." Please keep in mind that for some alcoholics the consequences of picking up another drink are death, hospitalization, jail, etc.

You say, "All I had to do was admit defeat and get a life." I can say both "Congratulations!" to you while also stating confidently that trying to stay sober as you have would kill me and those like me. If all alcoholics could get sober by simply admitting defeat and getting a life there would be no need for a Big Book or A.A. generally -- yet I and others like me have found it impossible to stay sober without them.

Having said all that, I thank heaven that you've found a solution that will hopefully keep working for you. God bless you.

biminiblue

"Admit defeat." That's true statement if ever there was one. Wave the white flag. Walk away.

There are lots of sayings that all point in the same direction. For some of us the bottle will always give us a smack-down. Better to just get out of the ring with it.

Really happy for you, Hodd. Onward to 2000.

dpac414

1000 days!!! That’s amazing. Honestly I think I might be just shy of that myself considering I got sober not long after you.

great post Hodd. Really proud of you and thank you for sharing your story. Well done.

Hodd

I don’t have any dealings with AA, but I’m going to say this. I’m not going to accept the my way is the only way approach I’m afraid. I’m going to leave that thought there.

I say admit defeat. AA say accept a higher power. This wordplay, which also includes such terms as moderation and tapering, are fine for those who’ve long since quit, but those unfortunate to still be drinking don’t need to be bogged down with the correct terminology nor analysis to the nth degree of why they drink. I still don’t know why I drank. Do I need to know?

I’m sure AA serves a purpose, but some people should perhaps think there are many ways to skin a cat.

Hodd

Look forward to your post soon then 🙂 I quit on 31 December 2018 or 1 January 2019 in a plane somewhere! If your date was around then, you’re nearly on 1000 days too.

DriGuy

If you are anything like me, there's still a lot more that you haven't seen coming. I don't know what was better, the first 5 years of sobriety or the last 5 years. You just don't see all the good that comes out of sobriety at the beginning. I think it's because early on we tend to see sobriety as making sacrifices, which it clearly is not. Even when you get to the point where you realize not one thing has been lost in this process, you still can't see what's ahead, because you never experienced it before. Or if you did, you had forgotten it. There will be more happy surprises, and oddly, many of them I never even made an effort to find. How could I, if I never knew they were there? Sobriety is not the work we think it is. At the beginning, sure it's a lot of work, but the struggle doesn't go on forever.

Hodd

Thanks DriGuy, there are certainly physical changes ahead! I mentioned triathlons, and I’m an average competitor, but I’m getting better and doing longer distances.

One thing I will say about sports in general is you get massive inspiration from others. I’ve since seen older obese people slim right down and end up fitter and speedier than me! You never get to meet such inspiring people when sat in a bar.

The teaching thing didn’t really work out, but I’m doing a fitness/coaching course using a lot of my teaching skills. That’ll be another new door opening.

But even for those who aren’t into sports, the point is your options increase massively once you quit drinking. I wouldn’t promise anything’s possible, but it’s not far off the truth.