“Go Against the Grain” Weekender, 24 - 27 September 2021
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Dearest Mags,
This is my favourite OP EVER!!! Thank you!! ❤️
Thank you for the work and effort you put into this every week....I honestly have tears in my eyes....I feel like I just went to a powerful meeting.
And as it happens, I quite desperately needed that advice right now.
Suze xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This is my favourite OP EVER!!! Thank you!! ❤️
Thank you for the work and effort you put into this every week....I honestly have tears in my eyes....I feel like I just went to a powerful meeting.
And as it happens, I quite desperately needed that advice right now.
Suze xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Originally Posted by saoutchik 
Thanks Mags. I miss Gilmer/Kathy a lot. For those who didn't know her she was a wonderful woman who passed away from an illness not related to our condition.
"Do the next right thing," it's such a simple and obviously correct statement but drinking makes it seem worthwhile wasting time and effort on justifying not doing the right thing. Even when things go badly you still have the self respect from not being a drunk.
23rd September is Restless Leg Awareness Day but I expect you all knew that.
"Do the next right thing," it's such a simple and obviously correct statement but drinking makes it seem worthwhile wasting time and effort on justifying not doing the right thing. Even when things go badly you still have the self respect from not being a drunk.
23rd September is Restless Leg Awareness Day but I expect you all knew that.
But she is ALWAYS in my head. And doing the next right thing is totally who she was.
And her sense of humour was legendary ~ as we all know ~ I doubt we will forget about granny pants in a hurry.
How many people make jokes in the middle of a terminal illness?
......the restless leg awareness day is funny dear Sao.....and right up Kathy's alley: she would have had a huge chuckle over that....probably would have walked around shaking her leg in inappropriate places like the supermarket, or McDonalds.
s ❤️
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I'm in!
Wise words from Kathy, as always. She is missed.
I'm busy busy. Work is very busy, I am trying to cram in as many fun outdoor things as possible on the weekends before winter arrives here, and trying to do some fairly large re-organization projects around my house. There's always something to do. I wish I could retire. I do not have enough time in the day, and with no help around the house, it's a lot to deal with. I'm not complaining though. I feel very grateful for my life, and all of my privilege. And for my sobriety.
I have been thinking an extra lot about the people I knew and cared about who were lost to this disease. Sometimes I'll go through periods when they are on my mind more than usual. A couple of days ago, a picture of a past boyfriend popped up in my facebook feed as a memory. I had known him since we were in 7th and 8th grade. We reconnected about 8 years ago and had a couple of tries at dating. Once when we were both still drinking, and then later, after we had both quit. I stayed sober, he did not. After we broke up, he started a downward spiral (not because of me, I don't think) and ended up taking his own life almost 2 years ago now. I cared deeply about him, and when he died, there was no doubt in my mind that his alcoholism (a lifelong struggle for him, along with depression) was the main contributing factor. I am thankful to the bottom of my soul that I was able to arrest my downward spiral and get sober. My wish is for everyone who struggles with alcohol and mental illness to get the help they need and to get well.
Wise words from Kathy, as always. She is missed.
I'm busy busy. Work is very busy, I am trying to cram in as many fun outdoor things as possible on the weekends before winter arrives here, and trying to do some fairly large re-organization projects around my house. There's always something to do. I wish I could retire. I do not have enough time in the day, and with no help around the house, it's a lot to deal with. I'm not complaining though. I feel very grateful for my life, and all of my privilege. And for my sobriety.
I have been thinking an extra lot about the people I knew and cared about who were lost to this disease. Sometimes I'll go through periods when they are on my mind more than usual. A couple of days ago, a picture of a past boyfriend popped up in my facebook feed as a memory. I had known him since we were in 7th and 8th grade. We reconnected about 8 years ago and had a couple of tries at dating. Once when we were both still drinking, and then later, after we had both quit. I stayed sober, he did not. After we broke up, he started a downward spiral (not because of me, I don't think) and ended up taking his own life almost 2 years ago now. I cared deeply about him, and when he died, there was no doubt in my mind that his alcoholism (a lifelong struggle for him, along with depression) was the main contributing factor. I am thankful to the bottom of my soul that I was able to arrest my downward spiral and get sober. My wish is for everyone who struggles with alcohol and mental illness to get the help they need and to get well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Thank you, Mags, for resurrecting one of the many beautiful and wise Gilmer posts. She is very missed.
Lixie, you can make it through today, tonight and beyond. Please stay with us.It takes some time and work before you can sit back and recognize just how good sobriety with true recovery is but that moment brings so. UCB goodness with it.
That is very sad about your friend, MLD. Alcoholism is an unrelenting monster.
Stay strong, friends; let’s put another Sober Weekend under our belts. Onward, Weekend Warriors.
Lixie, you can make it through today, tonight and beyond. Please stay with us.It takes some time and work before you can sit back and recognize just how good sobriety with true recovery is but that moment brings so. UCB goodness with it.
That is very sad about your friend, MLD. Alcoholism is an unrelenting monster.
Stay strong, friends; let’s put another Sober Weekend under our belts. Onward, Weekend Warriors.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
'Do The Next Right Thing'
A Mantra of mine because it distills down to fundamental simplicity, and induces action. Not talk. Not some overwrought, obfuscated Plan.
I was at a local Dog Park a Month ago. I met this hilarious New York Transplant, and our Pooches really hit it off. The Husky she rescued will forever have 3 long Scars on this Nose from where his Jaw was wired shut to prevent the 'talking' endemic to that Breed. As we left, I had this lil Inner Voice direct me as we each got in our Vehicles. I walked over to her and asked: 'Do you want my Phone Number in case you get into trouble out here'? She thought about it, and further accepted my invite to Lunch on me after we exchanged Numbers. It's been nonstop Dog Park fun since then. OK, except for me helping long-distance to get her Car pulled off a cut Tree Stump she got stuck on while Boondocking.
A p/t Mountaineer who's summited 16 Peaks here over 14,000' [4,268 Meters], she's one no-BS Surrogate Daughter figure to Retired Teacher and Jockette MesaMate and I. She texted me late one Night during a mild Panic Attack while Tent Camping with her Husky. Some Creeper had been stalking her remote Campsite, and kept asking if she was alone. He offered her $100- for a sexual act, and got more insistent. After asking her if he could fly his Drone around at Sunset then. [?] After parking to block her exit. When she had an opening, she fled down into Town after leaving all her Gear. I helped her find a Dog-friendly Motel around midnight. I took her back up to there the next Day while armed to retrieve her undisturbed Gear from what she called 'the best Camping spot she's ever had' by a River she soaked in. Below, see one of the locals.
A married couple of two Gals had just been shot to death at their Campsite close by in E. Utah. The Perp is still at large. So, I chalk up my Pal's near-miss up to her vigilance and clear thinking despite having Asperger's. This makes for some high IQ Convos with a few random sidebars. Hands down, the smartest Person I've met in my >20 Years here. Thank you, Universe.
I paid her Motel Bills, and we offered her a 4 Day stint here in our cushy RV Trailer to provide some Serenity, and decompression. And, a high speed 'Net connection. She's on a mission to buy a used RV to live in, so I'm the Guy to assist on that. Right now, she's looking around S.W. Colorado, at our suggestion, to see if that area suits her. She's achieved many of her Trip Goals to do things to honor her Father's wishes after he passed 3 Years ago from Pancreatic Cancer. She's got PTSD.
My own clear thinking and guidance is absolutely made possible by Sobriety. She thanked us for providing a Booze-free environment because she stress drinks at times to cope with 2 Rape Incidents. Vaping is her main thing. Along with climbing insanely-high Mountains. This friendship has been good to polish up my sense of Compassion, and realize the expanse of hurting People out there. It's also allowed me to give fully - including financially - with zero expectations or resentment.
Timely, Mags. Many thanks...
'Do The Next Right Thing'
A Mantra of mine because it distills down to fundamental simplicity, and induces action. Not talk. Not some overwrought, obfuscated Plan.
I was at a local Dog Park a Month ago. I met this hilarious New York Transplant, and our Pooches really hit it off. The Husky she rescued will forever have 3 long Scars on this Nose from where his Jaw was wired shut to prevent the 'talking' endemic to that Breed. As we left, I had this lil Inner Voice direct me as we each got in our Vehicles. I walked over to her and asked: 'Do you want my Phone Number in case you get into trouble out here'? She thought about it, and further accepted my invite to Lunch on me after we exchanged Numbers. It's been nonstop Dog Park fun since then. OK, except for me helping long-distance to get her Car pulled off a cut Tree Stump she got stuck on while Boondocking.
A p/t Mountaineer who's summited 16 Peaks here over 14,000' [4,268 Meters], she's one no-BS Surrogate Daughter figure to Retired Teacher and Jockette MesaMate and I. She texted me late one Night during a mild Panic Attack while Tent Camping with her Husky. Some Creeper had been stalking her remote Campsite, and kept asking if she was alone. He offered her $100- for a sexual act, and got more insistent. After asking her if he could fly his Drone around at Sunset then. [?] After parking to block her exit. When she had an opening, she fled down into Town after leaving all her Gear. I helped her find a Dog-friendly Motel around midnight. I took her back up to there the next Day while armed to retrieve her undisturbed Gear from what she called 'the best Camping spot she's ever had' by a River she soaked in. Below, see one of the locals.
A married couple of two Gals had just been shot to death at their Campsite close by in E. Utah. The Perp is still at large. So, I chalk up my Pal's near-miss up to her vigilance and clear thinking despite having Asperger's. This makes for some high IQ Convos with a few random sidebars. Hands down, the smartest Person I've met in my >20 Years here. Thank you, Universe.
I paid her Motel Bills, and we offered her a 4 Day stint here in our cushy RV Trailer to provide some Serenity, and decompression. And, a high speed 'Net connection. She's on a mission to buy a used RV to live in, so I'm the Guy to assist on that. Right now, she's looking around S.W. Colorado, at our suggestion, to see if that area suits her. She's achieved many of her Trip Goals to do things to honor her Father's wishes after he passed 3 Years ago from Pancreatic Cancer. She's got PTSD.
My own clear thinking and guidance is absolutely made possible by Sobriety. She thanked us for providing a Booze-free environment because she stress drinks at times to cope with 2 Rape Incidents. Vaping is her main thing. Along with climbing insanely-high Mountains. This friendship has been good to polish up my sense of Compassion, and realize the expanse of hurting People out there. It's also allowed me to give fully - including financially - with zero expectations or resentment.
Timely, Mags. Many thanks...
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,668
MesaMan, you’ve a kind heart. Your friend was quick thinking to get out of there. He certainly sounds suspicious. 
I hope the murderer is found and locked up. How’s Mesapup doing, be fully grown by now I bet.
I hope the murderer is found and locked up. How’s Mesapup doing, be fully grown by now I bet.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
^^^^^. Totally agree.
MesaMan, I read about the two murdered women in relation to the Gabby Petito murder. Her person-of-interest fiancé (Brian Laundries) is being hunted by the FBI and other authorities in a swampy Reserve very close to here. Horrible news.
MesaMan, I read about the two murdered women in relation to the Gabby Petito murder. Her person-of-interest fiancé (Brian Laundries) is being hunted by the FBI and other authorities in a swampy Reserve very close to here. Horrible news.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,901
Thanks Mags for keeping Gilmer close by 
Sorry to hear about your friend MLD
Wow MesaMan I'm glad you were able to be there for your friend
Ready for another weekend with you all ~ more meditation classes coming up....my latest addiction
Sorry to hear about your friend MLD
Wow MesaMan I'm glad you were able to be there for your friend
Ready for another weekend with you all ~ more meditation classes coming up....my latest addiction
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
Caramel ~
Yes, my Pal did report the disturbing Incident that Night. The local Town Police asked her: 'So, what Crime did he commit'? Blew her off. To her credit, she didn't drink over it.
She took it upon herself to call the Family of the 2 murdered Utah Campers, and is trying to start up a type of online Clearing House of such Incidents so that the word gets out via some common Website or Resource. I just talked to her at length, and she's willing to try a Facial Composite effort to help Detectives identify *The Canyon Creeper*, as she calls him. My label for him is not compatible with SR Guidelines.
My own Consciousness Raising is occurring re: how many Indigenous Girls/Women disappear, and the stilted Media coverage. The SR tie-in for me is a general, pre-existing awareness of the degree to which Alcohol ravages the Indigenous Peoples Reservations all over the West here. One historical reminder below is a Ute Indian Digging Tool found here at MesaVille. About 1 Meter long, and 40 lbs. [18 Kg.] of Rock...
Caramel ~
Yes, my Pal did report the disturbing Incident that Night. The local Town Police asked her: 'So, what Crime did he commit'? Blew her off. To her credit, she didn't drink over it.
She took it upon herself to call the Family of the 2 murdered Utah Campers, and is trying to start up a type of online Clearing House of such Incidents so that the word gets out via some common Website or Resource. I just talked to her at length, and she's willing to try a Facial Composite effort to help Detectives identify *The Canyon Creeper*, as she calls him. My label for him is not compatible with SR Guidelines.
My own Consciousness Raising is occurring re: how many Indigenous Girls/Women disappear, and the stilted Media coverage. The SR tie-in for me is a general, pre-existing awareness of the degree to which Alcohol ravages the Indigenous Peoples Reservations all over the West here. One historical reminder below is a Ute Indian Digging Tool found here at MesaVille. About 1 Meter long, and 40 lbs. [18 Kg.] of Rock...
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Welcome to Weekenders Lixie! You can do it. With a few very rare exceptions nothing physically terrible happens when we quit, it's just miserable (wanting a drink, not being able to sleep etc) rather than dangerous. It doesn't stay that way for more than a couple of months though.
She was lucky you happened along by the sound of it MesaMan.
Good luck Mags
Good to see you MantaLady
Been to the Falls of Glomach today. It's the UK's best (and least known) waterfall due to its remoteness. The 6 hour hike was worth it.
She was lucky you happened along by the sound of it MesaMan.
Good luck Mags
Good to see you MantaLady
Been to the Falls of Glomach today. It's the UK's best (and least known) waterfall due to its remoteness. The 6 hour hike was worth it.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
That’s a gorgeous waterfall Sao. I’d love to do some hiking in Scotland someday.
Mesa I’m glad you were able to help your friend. I hope they catch the creeper.
I’m with Captain this weekend, headed out bush for the weekend, albeit the Australian rather than African bush. I too will be having a sober weekend
Oh, and Cityboy I just remembered I didn’t answer your question from a while back! Although the idea of going off grid does appeal to me, we won’t likely ever be completely off grid. We’re just enjoying peaceful weekends away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We will likely spend more time there once working doesn’t get in the way of life
but I can’t see us ever being truly self sufficient and off grid. Although having our own solar power and water supply, plus growing some veggies and fruit and having chickens for eggs will mean that our living costs will be reduced somewhat
Have a wonderful sober weekend everyone
Mesa I’m glad you were able to help your friend. I hope they catch the creeper.
I’m with Captain this weekend, headed out bush for the weekend, albeit the Australian rather than African bush. I too will be having a sober weekend
Oh, and Cityboy I just remembered I didn’t answer your question from a while back! Although the idea of going off grid does appeal to me, we won’t likely ever be completely off grid. We’re just enjoying peaceful weekends away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We will likely spend more time there once working doesn’t get in the way of life
but I can’t see us ever being truly self sufficient and off grid. Although having our own solar power and water supply, plus growing some veggies and fruit and having chickens for eggs will mean that our living costs will be reduced somewhat Have a wonderful sober weekend everyone
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,514
That's a wonderful waterfall Sao. I've not heard of it and with it being a 6 hour hike I'm never likely to visit it either!
It's the third highest in Scotland and in the UK as a whole. The closest decent waterfall to me - High Force in Teesdale, County Durham - is only 21m high (though definitely worth visiting) compared to Falls of Glomach which is apparently 113m high.
It's the third highest in Scotland and in the UK as a whole. The closest decent waterfall to me - High Force in Teesdale, County Durham - is only 21m high (though definitely worth visiting) compared to Falls of Glomach which is apparently 113m high.
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