Triggered

keep us posted Spen

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome back, Spen! I'm so sorry for the loss of your parents and for the loss of your sobriety. I'm sure they wouldn't want to see you spiral down like this, so I'm glad you're back and ready to try again!

spen71

still cannot put the drink down. That voice keeps saying, one more won’t hurt.

adair

Welcome back. Sobriety is never easy, especially when dealing with loss.

The AV's arguments are very compelling, except it lies. One more does hurt. The drink just numbs the hurt -- up until the point where it doesn't even do that very well. Elevated anxiety and depression, physical pains and discomfort, trouble sleeping -- the list of hurts of all those 'one more's eventually just get bigger.

spen71

thanks Making a mess of things again

Anna

I also said the same words, 'one more won't hurt', but it can, and you won't know until it's too late. You've had a tough 18 months with losing both your parents. Believe that you are strong enough and ready to deal with those losses without alcohol in your life. You can do this.

Steely

But one more is hurting spen. I hope you've managed to put it down.

Surrendered19

Have you been back to AA as you said your plan was Spen? Get back there asap Spen, even if you are drinking. Tell them what's up. They don't care as they've all been through it and the good folks at AA will help save your life.

If it was "just one more" then it wouldn't hurt anything. But it is never just one more but rather it's always a thousand more. The "just one more" euphemism is code for "I've just downed a bottle of vodka." Hardly just one more right?

Make it out again Spen and live your life in a healthy way.

Polaroid

I'm dead scared of losing my very closest family, whether they be older (my parents), or younger (my sisters) - If it happened right now, I would also probably drink to not deal with my feelings.

I'm sorry for your losses. You stopped and stayed sober once for 8 years. You can do it again, man. I think you need to let your feelings process, no matter how sucky it feels.

spen71

it means driving. Lose my licence I lose my business! I went for 8 years to AA walked away due to a fall out. My pride says people will laugh and shun me

spen71

Just messaged my old sponsor

spen71

Well day 1 again. Withdrawals are not too bad really. A bit jittery, cold sweats and slight nausea. Probably won’t sleep tonight

biminiblue

This can be the last time you ever feel this way.

Take care of yourself today.

Surrendered19

Don't worry about the sleep thing Spen. Tired but clear headed is SO preferable to climbing out of the black having not rested a bit during blackout "sleeping". You'll get more rest awake than you do at the bottom of the booze abyss.

Eat some watermelon and raspberries and cheesecake. My go-to's for about the first month of sobriety. Hydrate and read around on SR. Take care of yourself on this awesome Day 1.

spen71

thanks. I’m currently drinking ginger tea, while watching the Liverpool match .

BornToBeSober

Food is actually I think a great way to combat the urges in early sobriety.

I like popcorn, soda, and a good movie. Take that over any dumb drunken night! No hangover to worry about is always a plus.

spen71

Well I didn’t sleep too bad. Got about 5 hours in!

Onto day 2! Still a bit jittery and stomach a bit unsettled but much better than I though!

thanks for all the kind messages

Hawkeye13

Well done getting your Day 1, and now Day 2 in the works. You can do this—8 years sober showed that.

Surrendered19

Nice work on Day 2 Spen. Keep walking away from all that. Each day a bit more distance. Back on your healthy road.

spen71

Through day 3 no problem. Kept busy at work all day, cleaned cooked and watched some
TV. Not slept the best again but I know that will improve. Eating a lot better, mainly comfort food, I’ll deal with my diet at a later date.