lonelyfella

I just wanted to say thak you to all of you that have taken the time out to answer me and keep me occupied in this scary and lonely time...
it has helped me immensely, not just today with my issue... i have talked about drinking etc... but not wanted to run to the offlicence i live above!!! (imagine an alcholic living above an offy!!)..... but also for just talking to me.... i have not had human contact in any meaningful way in quite a while....and i know we are not sat down playing poker talking about stuff face to face....but just to exchange words is a real help for my current mental health.....

so..with all my heart... thank you.

Dee74

This community was a game changer for me.
I’m glad you found us LF

D

Icandothis2013

Glad to hear that ! FYI, I live above a supermarket which sells booze too but I mainly do online grocery shopping now to stop myself buying it.. maybe you could try that ? Onwards !

MythOfSisyphus

I'm glad you're feeling a little better, @lonelyfella. It will just get better from here on out if you stick to your guns and get sober.

Hevyn

We're so happy to have you with us, lonelyfella. Be proud of yourself for making this big change in your life.

dustyfox

Well done LF - living above an offy must be very tricky - but you are clearly determined. Like Dee, for me this forum has been a eye opening wake up call. I have learned so much and gained so much advice and support. I never believed that something 'virtual' could feel so real in terms of the shared journey we are all on. Keep strong and post often. It does help enormously.

lonelyfella

Hello... In a weird way maybe subconciously i was preparing to break free of these chains...i have had a fair few "never agains" and help with recovery....i dont think my heart was in it tbh.......
i have found myself living alone with no friends or family to talk to....truly alone.... some of this is by choice some is by design....
i have hidden in my room drinking and taking drugs without any influnce from anyone......i chose to do it without peer pressure or influence....
i dont want to be alone anymore...i dont want to be who i currently am...so now i am choosing to stop of my own volition... without peer pressure or influence....so in a weird way.....i stand a better hance now than ever before..... i have burned all the drug dealers numbers and stopped being around people i know that are also self distructing (most dont know it yet!!) so i can "do me"...
I want to be strong enough to walk past the pub and the offy on a hot summers day when everyone is out and about.....having a cold beer and popping to the toilet for a cheeky line......
i got myself into this mess and the cost of my drug and drink abuse has been great... financilly and emotionally.....if i dont like me.....how can anyone else?
if i can crack this im quite fun to be around..not a bad looking 47 year old bloke..... maybe i could meet a nice girl and live happy ever after eh?

MythOfSisyphus

The shame of addiction really drive a person to be alone. I hated having people see and know how much I was drinking so I would avoid everyone. It's hilarious in retrospect but I was even that guy that spread my booze purchases out among different stores to keep the regular staff from seeing what a drunk I was! The problem is once you shut everyone out long enough they start to take the hint. Then years later I feel embarrassed to reach out again.

You have hit one thing on the head, @lonelyfella- you have to quit for you. There were times in the past I would take a break knowing full well I'd start drinking again. You have to reach a point where you want to be sober, and you have to want it for you. Ultimatums from loved ones, consequences from the law or your job, none of those are enough to cause a permanent change. Most drunks and druggies will use as long as they can. For me I just finally got worn out from it. Reached my breaking point. When I finally decided I would never drink again and never change my mind, that's when it stuck. It will be nine years next month.

least

I've gotten a ton of support here, as well as made many friends. I even got a lovely cat from one of the members here. She's been with me over 7 yrs now and is a delightful little cat.

I'm glad you're finding us useful to you. Lots of support here, use it to get sober for good - you won't regret it. I've been sober almost 12 yrs now and never once have I woken up and wished I had drank the night before.

lonelyfella

well... i am yawning....the pubs shut..the bottle store is shut...there are plenty of 24hr places to get a drink in London but I have resisted.. i have had 4 hrs sleep in what i am not sure to be 3 days.... all i have done all day is read and write on here...
but its got me through day 1....that is a first in a very very long time..
looks like i have cracked my first real attempt at going t total....
fingers crossed its the first of maany days without a reliance on drink and drugs.

Anna

I'm glad you got through the day today, and you know we'll be here for you tomorrow.

tornrealization

One of the places I work produces alcohol containers. So I used to whisper to them how evil they are, and NO! I don’t drink anymore. Eh…now I hardly notice. Which I didn’t even think about that until I read your post about living above a store.

Sleep took me a few weeks, before I wasn’t having sweats, nightmares, or just plain up a lot. Then a few months later sleep got better. Now it’s the best thing. Waking up hangover free. So give it time. It may not resolve completely but being sober should help,

MythOfSisyphus

You're off to a great start @lonelyfella! I would suggest you do a bit of reading and work on a plan. Shame and regret can lead you to pausing your drinking but shame always wears off, and regrets are easily rationalized over time (eg, well, sure I threw up in my wife's hair but that was months ago! I'm a different person now...). Eventually when the shame wears off you need to have a solid plan to keep from slipping back into old ways. For me it was AVRT (do a Google search if you like, not allowed to link it here due to forum rules). Others have used Rational Recovery, and some have found success with AA. It takes some time and effort to build up new systems and new behaviors to replace the time you spent drinking and doing drugs. Speaking for myself I was worried that all the things I used to do while drinking would no longer be satisfying, but luckily I found new things and rediscovered the joy in doing things sober.

Mizz

It is good to read all that you have written in the last few posts. I read a lot of truth and a lot of self awareness. I read that you are choosing. That really is what this is about. Choice. It doesnt seem that way initially when we are in the grips of an addiction.

Sleep was really up and down for me initially. I went through a few weeks of being awake at 3 am. Lots of restless nights. Lots of going to bed too early. Feeling drained. Feeling. Lots and lots and lots and lots of feelings. I assure you all of whatever you go through initially levels off. For now, chop wood and carry water. Chop and carry. Chop and Carry. You will get stronger and stronger.

Also, structure really saved me. Each hour was accounted for and I stuck to the plan that I created.
Wake, SR, exercise, breakfast, work, lunch, work, home, bath, SR, bedtime with a series or book,
Rinse and repeat. Every single day until I started to feel normal.
Now, I have this structure and I feel free in the structure. I am well cared for because I have cared for myself in a way that is nurturing and respectful. Not in a way that is harmful and careless.

I am so happy you are here. I hope you apply some suggestions that the members have given you and then create some of your own ways of recovery to offer others. We are powerful together and we are powerful as individuals. I believe in you!

advbike

You absolutely can, lonelyfella. At 47 you can still have a great life, and with your attitude and some effort, I suspect you will. The first week is often a bit rough, but it gets easier, and you can absolutely do it.

Keep up the good work!