I’m back
 

Day 1. Got to stop. I’m a mess. This never ever works. The only way is to put the bottle down for good. I’m on my hands and knees to God praying this is my last Day 1.

Welcome back and congrats on your decision to quit drinking. You CAN change your life and be free from active addiction!
I believe in you!

This is something we all have to eventually come to terms with if we are going to get better.

Thanks for the support DriGuy and Mizz. I've just got out of a "situationship" with a person I don't think was good for me and used drink to numb some of the pain despite me knowing so very well it exacerbates things. I'm feeling very blue this evening. Just wishing this guy would get back in touch with me. I even reached out to this guy's ex to try and see if he was awful to her too and she basically said he's mentally disturbed. Why?? I think it's my AV that's making me chase after a wrong 'un. My AV wants me sad, blue and desperate, that way I'm more likely to feed it. Not this evening mister!

You could be right. Your AV wants you to drink and it will try many different ways to convince you to do that. I'm glad you're back and this can definitely be your last Day 1.