freedomfries

I'm sick of it. I've been on a Listerine bender. I hate this. I want to stop. I hate this. But I feel like I'll probably drink at the earliest opportunity. Good thing I don't have money.

SoberLeigh

freedomfries, you are on such a dangerous path; Listerine could very well make you very, very sick. Truly, freedomfries, intensive inpatient treatment (which includes both addiction and psychological therapy) would be a very good if not the best option for you.

Please pull out all of the stops, freedomfries, and get treatment.

Anna

FF, you know how dangerous this is.

Please talk to your doctors and be honest with them.

KissMyTiara

FF, I wonder why your parents turn a blind eye to everything. Allowing you a comfortable home to sleep and food and wanting to pay for your college. I do think they are enablers. What are you going to do when they are not around? What are you doing for yourself? There IS help out there, but you seem reluctant to take it. Please do. Time goes by fast.

Lixie

FF, you know that I get on this site every day to see if you have posted anything. You are so important to me, and I want you to be well and happy. Please do something about this, don't drink Listerine, it may kill you! Get help!

freedomfries

They're doing their best. I think they're worried if they don't enable me I'll end up homeless.

I'm so ashamed of the hurt I've put them through. They're getting on in years. I should be helping around the house, cooking dinner, buying groceries, mowing the lawn etc
​​​​​
​

freedomfries

The only rehabs I could get into soon and afford are very heavily Catholic. They promote going off anti psychotics which would be a disaster for me.

I'm going to put my name down for a secular rehab in Dublin.

KissMyTiara

I don't think any Catholic place that would tell you to go off medications prescribed by a Doctor. Or any other rehab. Sorry but you need to stop making excuses week after week month after month and going on years. Honey, you can't keep doing this.

Dee74

Put your name down today at a secular place and impress on them the seriousness of your situation and the need for immediate help FF.
You’re in dangerous waters. Something needs to change, man.

D

ScottFromWI

What are you going to do in the meantime then? Day 1 is a a good place to be but if you plan is to maybe get into a rehab sometime the indeterminate future, it's probably not going to last long, no?

Why not make a list of the actionable steps you can take today and see how that goes. Based on things you've shared in this thread I'll give a couple of suggestions.

1. Stop drinking ( check )
2. Research rehab options ( in progress )

See you did 2 already, good work. Now some more suggestions

3. Go talk to your parents - tell them exactly what the score is.
4. Don't buy or drink any alcohol
5. Call your doctor - make an appointment to completely clear the air and get ALL the issues on the table. The voices, the mouthwash drinking, the suicidal thoughts, all of it. It all needs addressing and while it will take a long time, make a list.
6. Don't buy or drink any alcohol
7. Do one thing to help around the house - clean up your room, offer to help cook a meal, etc
8. Don't buy or drink any alcohol
9. Go to a recovery meeting either online or in person
10. Don't buy or drink any alcohol

Is that a good enough list to get you started?

dustyfox

FF - tell your parents you are drinking mouthwash - and that if you keep drinking mouthwash bad things will happen to your body.
Get them to read this. They will probably help you to get into rehab in Dublin.
The chemicals in mouthwash may include chlorhexidine gluconate, hydrogen peroxide, or methyl salicylate, which are all toxic to ingest. Ingesting these ingredients by drinking mouthwash can cause mouthwash overdose, liver failure, and gastrointestinal damage. Drinking methyl alcohol can cause blindness, organ failure, or death.

2muchpain

I think your parents are making things too comfortable for you. Have they considered going to Alanon? Might help them to draw boundaries and initiate a little tough love. You'd be a lot better off for it and might just help you to get more serious about your drinking. John

2muchpain

With all due respect and not trying to be insensitive, but your excuses and your parents enabeling (sp) you, you could end up in an early grave. Maybe the threat of you ending up homeless might just be what you need to move forward. Most of the major changes I made in my life was because I was uncomfortable with my current situation. Without feeling uncomfortable and having support to get me through this, I'd be dead today. Getting out of your house and going to rehab is your best option. If you really feel bad about what you are putting your parents through, then go to rehab for them. John

SouthernSober

Anybody I cared about in this situation--I would advise him or her to go to the ER immediately, figure out the rest later. No question about it.

Wastinglife

FF, Listerne is not meant to be consumed for a reason. It's toxic and will cause problems with your internal organs. I have drank Listerine out of desperation in the past. If you see any hope for a happy life ahead of you, stop with sanitizer and mouthwash. That stuff will destroy your organs!

freedomfries

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Consensus seems to be I need rehab. I guess I have to accept that.

freedomfries

Dublin has a heroin crisis so my case is relatively benign.

I got my longest streak with Antabuse. And it turns out it wasn't causing the voices, so I've taken it today.

Dee74

I know what you mean but I think you're wrong.

You're putting yourself in danger, mortal danger, life threatening danger.
Its not benign.

Any decent rehab will take you on regardless of how many junkies there are in Dublin.

D

ScottFromWI

You have no obligation to accept anything that is shared here, or anywhere else. Yes, the recommendation you've been given by many here is that rehab is something you should strongly consider. But make no mistake, what you really need to accept is your addiction. If you don't rehab isn't likely to change that. And be aware that while rehab will in a sense physically prevent you from drinking for a while, you are still free to leave at any time and you also have the ability to go buy some booze the second you are done. Also know that much of what you will do in rehab are things you could already be doing right now - meetings, counseling, working on self awareness and self respect, etc.

All the deflection of the issue ( Parents, voices, inability to get into rehab, rehabs that you don't like for whatever reason, cross addictions, etc ) is just that - you choosing to kick the can down the road. You already know you can quit drinking if you want to, you've done it multiple times. You also know that you have many tools already at your disposal - Antabuse, this community, your parents and their incredible generosity, acces to healthcare, etc. The missing component is your taking on the responsibility of fostering positive change in your life. It will be hard - one of the hardest things you will ever do. But it all starts with you. You say you are sick of day 0, make this be the last one you ever have to deal with.

MythOfSisyphus

I'm glad you're posting again @freedomfries! But I hope you'll get to a rehab. You need help, my friend. No shame in that! You'll be more helpful for your folks once you get some help yourself. Stay away from mouthwash- that's a potentially fatal way to get a high.