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Keep on keeping on

Old 09-06-2021, 04:11 AM
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Keep on keeping on

Hello

I'm about to complete the latest 100 days off the drink. In that time, there have been a few major triggers / situations in which drinking was very tempting, but so far I've overcome the urges. I must say it doesn't become easier to stay sober, it becomes harder; the memory of the misery of withdrawal becomes more and more distant and less of a deterrant. I wish I had some way of re-experiencing withdrawal for a few minutes every time the urge to drink came...
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Old 09-06-2021, 04:16 AM
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Congrats on 100 days! That's a great accomplishment @Cornishman!
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Old 09-06-2021, 04:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Cornishman View Post
Hello

I must say it doesn't become easier to stay sober, it becomes harder; the memory of the misery of withdrawal becomes more and more distant and less of a deterrant.
Hey congrats and welcome!!

Have you checked out AA, Smart, or Rational Recovery or something like that? There are a number of programs, methodologies out there that can help with this I think. There's a difference between abstaining vs. living sober.

I know for me I'd never make it if all I changed was simply abstaining. And many/most of the changes I've made as I live soberly with myself are incredibly positive.

Best to you-

B

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Old 09-06-2021, 04:45 AM
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I have found recovery to get easier with the passage of time, not harder.
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Old 09-06-2021, 04:47 AM
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great job on 100days! x
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Old 09-06-2021, 04:52 AM
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I have found going to an occasional AA meeting, listening to the newcomers talking about what it's like keeps it at the forefront of my mind. Also, sharing my experience with drinking helps me to never forget.

All of my previous failed attempts can be squarely blamed on forgetting the suffering that the first drink started. I can never drink safely again.

Have you considered attending a meeting here and there? Congratulations on 100 days!

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Old 09-06-2021, 04:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Buckley3 View Post
Hey congrats and welcome!!

Have you checked out AA, Smart, or Rational Recovery or something like that? There are a number of programs, methodologies out there that can help with this I think. There's a difference between abstaining vs. living sober.

I know for me I'd never make it if all I changed was simply abstaining. And many/most of the changes I've made as I live soberly with myself are incredibly positive.

Best to you-

B
Thanks. I'm not so much a newcomer as a returining newcomer...
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Old 09-06-2021, 04:57 AM
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Originally Posted by DriGuy View Post
I have found recovery to get easier with the passage of time, not harder.
Hi. In some ways I find it easier - physically feel great, sleeping better and all the psychological issues that went with quitting have gone. But the urge to drink is creeping back a bit; there is the occasional whisper that, 'you can have a few drinks, just one night etc.' I know that's crap and if I drink for one night, I'll be drunk for two weeks.
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Old 09-06-2021, 05:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Cornishman View Post
Hi. In some ways I find it easier - physically feel great, sleeping better and all the psychological issues that went with quitting have gone. But the urge to drink is creeping back a bit; there is the occasional whisper that, 'you can have a few drinks, just one night etc.' I know that's crap and if I drink for one night, I'll be drunk for two weeks.
I think it's normal to have those thoughts, and even urges (is there a difference between the two), but at 100 days, you may have to accept that having manageable thoughts is good enough. Remember back when they weren't manageable? That's when it was a real nightmare. Then you made your way though those early stage cravings. Now you need to become confident in accepting and handling these current annoyances, at whatever intensity they are at this point.

This is the way recovery goes. It's just progress. If there is an endpoint, I haven't seen it yet, but in recovery we just keep getting better at it. And these periods like where you are now, become places where you can prove your resolve, and just like in the beginning, every time you don't give in, you get stronger in your commitment, and the bothersome tests follow a general downward intensity, but it won't be a straight line.
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Old 09-06-2021, 06:54 AM
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Well done on 100 days first. Let’s be positive 🙂

Sounds like it’s been a struggle. Are you doing any other activity to fill in the time in which you were drinking? I always reckon we can’t only quit drinking as other things have to change too. If you imagine someone who chills after work with Netflix and a bottle of wine, for example, they won’t be able to chill after work with Netflix and no wine. It won’t happen. They need to cut back on the Netflix or better still get a new hobby. That was what worked for me. Whilst I was busy doing something else every evening, I was distracted from wanting to drink and my body became used to the idea.

But I do remember well having a trip abroad around my 100 day mark. The triggers were astronomical with airports, free booze, etc. Like you, I said no. 100 days is still a dodgy time.

Seriously think about an activity to take your mind off the cravings, and well done again for 100 days.
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Old 09-06-2021, 07:05 AM
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Congrats on 100 days!

Sorry you are starting to look at the drinking through that clouded lens. Maybe stay close, journal a bit?

Its normal for the brain to look for the best in memories of the past.

I don’t know why, but I never looked at nicotine as something I ever wanted to do again—realized I couldn’t be a sometimes smoker—, and now quickly approaching 34 years nicotine free.

Alcohol has been different. So easy to look at the past and not see all the horror. Perhaps because I’ve burnt brain cells while drinking hence don’t remember. Idk.

Prayers for you with a new resolve to squelch the urges. It’s poison.

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Old 09-06-2021, 07:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Hodd View Post
Well done on 100 days first. Let’s be positive 🙂

Sounds like it’s been a struggle. Are you doing any other activity to fill in the time in which you were drinking? I always reckon we can’t only quit drinking as other things have to change too. If you imagine someone who chills after work with Netflix and a bottle of wine, for example, they won’t be able to chill after work with Netflix and no wine. It won’t happen. They need to cut back on the Netflix or better still get a new hobby. That was what worked for me. Whilst I was busy doing something else every evening, I was distracted from wanting to drink and my body became used to the idea.

But I do remember well having a trip abroad around my 100 day mark. The triggers were astronomical with airports, free booze, etc. Like you, I said no. 100 days is still a dodgy time.

Seriously think about an activity to take your mind off the cravings, and well done again for 100 days.
Thanks. You're right about the need to change other things in life previously connected to drinking. I have a lot to distract me from drinking most of the time. It can be hard though; I was at birthday celebrations recently, and also at three or four restaurant meals with family and friends where wine and beer were flowing freely. That was tough - not because of any physical craving (I don't think I've ever have that when I'm sober), more a kind of sadness at not being able to be part of the occasion in the same way as others, or the way I used to. I've always been a happy drinker, not a nasty one. People have actually encouraged me to drink in the past, as it 'makes me relaxed and happier' - so I don't worry about insulting people, letting people down or causing fights etc. The reasons for quitting are my own mental and physical health and the knowledge that I can't control it, it controls me.
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Old 09-06-2021, 07:16 AM
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I understand the thought of not being able to be a part of the occasion like you once did. That being said, you are a part of the occasion in the realest way that anyone can be. Present and clear. Our unadulterated self is the best gift that can be given.

100 days is AMAZING! Keep up the good fight. Keep on moving forward.

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Old 09-06-2021, 07:26 AM
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Congratulations on 100 days Cornishman. I had a 6 month (180+ day) run of sobriety earlier this year and blew it because I started to reminisce about the happier times of my drinking days rather than continuing to work on my sobriety. One of my biggest problem in the end was complacency, along with boredom. I don't think I made enough changes to my life and was essentially doing much the same as I had been doing when I was drinking, except actually drinking. Are there things you would like to do that you wouldn't have done while you were drinking? Something that can make a difference to your life and which has no association with drinking?
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Old 09-06-2021, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Robbie64 View Post
Congratulations on 100 days Cornishman. I had a 6 month (180+ day) run of sobriety earlier this year and blew it because I started to reminisce about the happier times of my drinking days rather than continuing to work on my sobriety. One of my biggest problem in the end was complacency, along with boredom. I don't think I made enough changes to my life and was essentially doing much the same as I had been doing when I was drinking, except actually drinking. Are there things you would like to do that you wouldn't have done while you were drinking? Something that can make a difference to your life and which has no association with drinking?
Stripping the drinking from my life is hard (as it must be for all of us); my drinking is/was Churchillian and was often all day every day in increasing amounts till I fell asleep. The amounts have increased and increased over time though, and the pleasure has decreased in equal measure. The times when I had to postpone drinking till early evening for one reason or another were increasingly difficult to cope with, while at weekends I would be drunk by midday and need a nap before continuing. So... there aren't many things in life that I didn't do while drinking at one time or another! These days I'm running a lot, 4-5 miles every day.
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Old 09-06-2021, 07:47 AM
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Congratulations on hitting triple digits!
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Old 09-06-2021, 07:54 AM
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Congratulations on100 days! That is a wonderful accomplishment. It’s also still early recovery. I took longer to being comfortable with going out knowing drinking would be there. It does get easier with time but it may to too soon or the frequency of events is too many. I tend to visit the forums at night when I go to bed. There are plenty of reminders why we shouldn’t drink. We hear from members still suffering and members who have had incredible growth in sobriety.

I was still suffering from anxiety at 100 days. I often was a happy drunk too, being encouraged by others. Usually…there was also the unpredictability of blacking out and dancing, or breaking things being wobbly. I tried to wait to really pound drinks after I wasn’t around people and I’d be full on blackouts and that brought out the depression. So happy giddly was a delicate counting drinks act. I’d say I was grumpy until I had my drinks ….or I had anxiety …. until I had my drinks around others cause, that’s what not drinking did to me.

I feel like it was a year…my anxiety and agitation of needed a drink for social things significantly eased up. By then I also was gaining back a self confidence I has depleted with alcohol. I had seen enough get togethers that not everyone was drinking like I did. I was practiced in knowing one or two drinks just opens up the cravings beast, and whats the point of 1 or 2 anyway. All these things, and I found myself happy, secure and in better moods. I enjoyed social things and the food. I did have less thoughts of missing out. So it’s worth it. I definitely posted similar posts in my early days. I was grumpy being around it and not partaking. But now, I’m much better and happier. My friends and family have also noticed it.

TL DR - it takes time for drinking thoughts to continue to ease up after early sobriety.
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Old 09-06-2021, 07:59 AM
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Congratulations on 100 days of sobriety. It sounds like you are making changes in your life, such as running, to help support your recovery. I think that's very important.
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Old 09-06-2021, 09:21 AM
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Cornishman - I am also on one of many attempts to quit, now just over 100 days and have found recently in the last week or so the small voice of deception and temptation has whispered to me, my memory of how frightened, anxious and desperate I was 112 days ago has diminished to a shadow but I will not be fooled - I force myself to remember, I read others who post after another relapse, I hear how they feel and I heed their warnings - don't be made a fool of - you have too much to lose! Keep close!
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Old 09-06-2021, 12:44 PM
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Start practicing gratitude every day, if you aren't already. Being grateful strengthened my sobriety and improved my attitude and my whole life.
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