Day 4....
 

Day 4....resisting cravings. Give me boredom, frustration, loneliness, brain damage, 5lbs extra, and dissatisfaction please - this is fine.

I AM NOT falling into a relapse!!! I have fought this addiction for so many years that I never want to let myself get sucked in again.

I definitely prefer life sober!!! I hope to stay locked indoors safely this evening...

Make it so, U4S.

The first few weeks are uncomfortable, not impossible. Laying my head on the pillow sober every night was my primary and most important goal every day in the first few weeks.


Heck, it's still my most important achievement on any day, 7+ years later. :)

"I definitely prefer life sober!!! I hope to stay locked indoors safely this evening..."

Good job. Keep this state of mind on a daily basis.

Totally!

So awesome getting the day accomplished, always trying to end with a note of positivity (e.g. even if it is a somewhat delusional plan of action for the next day) and mainly more clean and sober then when the day started.

Anyone that pays attention to my ramblings knows that sometimes I vent about this and that.

I can say with assurance that as my clean days have counted up, my obsessions have gradually declined. They are not gone, but they are not as overwhelming. This is called the miracle that occurs with clean time. I credit it to science. Specifically, suffering and time.

The main go to move for me has been exercise. Specifically, as demanding as I can stand. Pushing into the suffering of exercise opened my mind to the natural high that makes the crave for booze go away. Getting high on life.

This has been my total key to salvation from addiction so far. Relapse looms for life for us addicts. Onguard.

Getting ready to hit the gym and get my daily guaranteed buzz.

I get a natural high from so many things these days, but exercise is the main one. I get high from petting my doggy, being nice to my wife, posting on SR, etc etc etc.

Love love love.

Thanks.

Thanks biminiblue and shakeel.

Biminiblue: your 7 years+ is very encouraging...🙌🏻🙂

Thank you both for replying....posting on here has helped me to secure another day free from active addiction 🙏🏻

_______________________
thanks for your message D122y. I certainly intend to exercise in future. I'm walking several miles a week as I'm 2 stone overweight. Once I'm carrying less weight I will commit to something more intense.
Your message is inspiring. I had 440 days sober, which has been my longest period yet, so getting back on track after this lapse really is the very best thing I can do!!!

Day 4 is wonderful, U4S. Early days, so there is still frustration & anxiety - but it will all get better.
I know this because I drank 30 yrs. & now have 13 sober ones. I never imagined my life without it, even though it was killing me. Be proud of yourself.

Hello Hevyn. Thanks for your message. This is so very encouraging! It's been 25 years for me - lots of periods of abstinence during this time, latest and longest was 14 months, which I am really pleased with. I wanted to get back to sobriety ASAP! So here I am. Thanks again, Hevyn! 🙂

You can do it, U4S. Stay hydrated and eat good food (and ice cream is helpful) and stay close! Congrats on 4 days!

Thank you VikingGF! ...I went out to buy everything I needed for detox just as the alcohol was starting to leave my system! Been indoors since then.

Day 4 is great UNITE4STRENGTH :)

D

It's a really sound way to approach things.

I'm a big believer in bunker mentality in the first few weeks. Settle in to just let the brain and body get clean - treat self well with good clean healthy comfort food, good movie, good book. Blow up the forums here like a raving lunatic.... :D

All in a days work in the early days. Let the world do it's own spinning for a bit while you get sorted.

So much easier to handle the habit breaking and social stuff if you simplify for a bit and let your bod and brain wash out.

O, and just as important, in the meantime you may find that you quite enjoy a bit of solitude. Peaceful, serene solitude is a powerful thing.

Stick around! Glad you are here. :)

-B

Hi Buckley3. Thank you. I have myself locked indoors with everything I need. Have put social stuff on hold for first 2 weeks (for some) and first 30 days (for others!). Thinking to adjust my social group again, since getting sober last time I said goodbye to two. Following this last lapse I feel things need changing again. Not that I have alcohol based relationships, it's more that I'm growing and changing and one friendship in particular isn't benefitting me really. I need to streamline my life for freedom! ...not be distracted, influenced negatively in any way by others. Excuse my rambling!

Also agree with you about 'bunker mentality' ...I had to do things on day 3 and it nearly destroyed me, but it needed doing 😅 I am practiced at home detoxes......estimating 60-100 over 25 year period!! I am part of other more local support groups (one attached to the rehab I attended)........so because of the recent lapse I came here to join SR for more anonymity and support 🙂

You are doing this! Stay close and post often. We are here for you.

Mizz - thanks! Moving through day 5 now. Still scared to leave the flat incase it's my subconscious leading me to a pub. It's hard being stuck inside and not feeling 100% on a sunny afternoon.....but I know if I pick up again it will only prolong this and it will just get more difficult again to stop.

There's often a bunch of stuff to sort out as the fog of self-deception and toxicity lifts. It can be overwhelming to look at the mess with sober eyes. Getting a bit of baseline in prioritizing sobriety is a great idea.

When the time comes to start sorting things out - be they social, family, financial, etc.. - always remember that if you start feeling overwhelmed ease off and just don't drink.

I sometimes had 2-3 day periods where I need to retreat back within myself a bit because of being overwhelmed with anxiety, etc.. I learned to accept that rather than push myself to the point of breaking or losing sight of the foundation - sobriety. In the early days I'd rather lay in bed for a day or two feeling like **** but sober rather than push myself past my limit and resorting to old habits.

-B

Sitting here listening to a phd from MIT/Harvard lecture on Financial Markets 101. This class is applies math to improve market gains (e.g. options, commodities etc. trading) and is worth 12 credits at MIT. 75% of the credit is from homework, 25% from from the final paper. No tests.

Totally amazing and stimulating. I love the internet.

This stimulation is a foundation of my continued sobriety.

Everything in life has become part of my sober temple maintenance.

Fiddling all day becomes life. Life becomes amazing, relaxing, clear, stable, and fearless.

This contrast is not apparent to never drinkers or active addicts as it relates to a before and after being a drunk scenario.

It takes the appreciation of the transition from active addiction to clean.

This takes education (from here and elsewhere), suffering, and time.

That is the essence of my current state.

I was at a party last night.

There were some folks drinking like it was the last night on earth. They skipped dinner because it messes up the buzz.

They were loud and selfish. There was probably 20 folks there and I think I was the only one not drinking. Some folks seemed to only have a beer or two, but we here all know that is a pointless move. 2 units of booze does nothing but make a person feel euphoric for a short time and then they get sleepy. What is the point of that? It is still addiction, just at a lower level.

I enjoyed being sober and eating the delicious food/deserts.

But, I knew as the night went on the drunks would just get more and more drunk and eventually black out. There had already been a dog fight and 2 folks talking about how they were going to wrestle later. It was getting a little "Apocalypse Now." I was laughing a little on the inside.

I left before that manifested, got home, washed up, and got 8 hours of glorious rest.

Woke up stronger than the day before.

Life is good.

Thanks.

ahh yes, I hear this loud. I had this approach but think I was in denial about other pressures (work, family problems, mental health)......I fell into a mental relapse first that lasted 2 months and then of course I walked into a pub. I am so happy still to have achieved a whole year+ sober, it's my biggest achievement.....so I'm just getting straight back on track 👣 again now. In the past this latest session would have gone on for months. So I feel my attitude to this relapse is healthy.

Fantastic piece of writing! Thank you for sharing this. I will get to that place you are at right now!!! I estimated it would take me 3 years to arrive. Can I ask how long you have been sober?