jtennery

Hello everyone. Brand new to this site and forum. Hope everyone is doing well today. I just completed a little over 24 hours of not drinking. Honestly, my day ones are not too difficult minus what I would describe as being in a pretty emotionally dark place. For some reason I get really down the next day. My day two and threes something is definitely wrong with me; my brain just will not work. Hyper ADHD, anxiety, etc. I'm hoping it only lasts 2 or 3 days. Suspect this has something to do with my brain chemistry and glucose and insulin levels...not sure and couldn't get a doctor to do more than suggest I may need treatment for ADHD. Uggh! I know there is a more lucid version of myself days or weeks away. Just know the next few are going to be tough and in the past the only way I could 'think' to get past it was to drink, but have found eating good to start the morning has helped a ton. Now that I think of it, I may have this!!! Have never met anyone who has had this struggle. Physically I will feel as fine as I do today, it's just that my brain will not work.

Wish me luck! Looking forward to interacting with other forum members.

tornrealization

Great work on day 1. I think many of us had multiple day 1s but they can be your last ever day 1. I had a lot of anxiety and couldn’t sleep my early weeks. It will ease up. Then a few months went by and it got even better. I sometimes just advise that know your first few days and weeks will suck. Expect it, plan for it, come here and post. Get through it and don’t drink and it will get better.

Welcome to the forums lots of support here!

Dee74

Welcome jtennery
you'll meet lots of people here who have had that struggle - we understand.

Stick with it - you will feel better
D

jtennery

Thanks. I've pulled off quite a few 1 to 3 days in the last year. I know it's gonna s**k and joined this forum to add another layer of accountability. Just started reading some of the articles in the addiction library. Some good stuff in there.

Hevyn

Hi Jtennery - it's so good to have you with us!
SR saved me when I'd been drinking 30 yrs. & couldn't imagine a way out. The encouragement I received here meant everything. I was no longer alone.
Congrats on wanting a better life & on your Day 1. You can do it! Wahoo indeed.

UNITE4STRENGTH

Hiya. How many times have you tried to quit drinking? My brain has not been working either. Yesterday was my day 3, and I've had many of these! I had to get things done as otherwise it gets neglected. It is so frustrating trying to do stuff with less brain cells. I really do not like the fact that I damaged my brain, yet again!!! ..but we should forgive ourselves and just keep trying. My brain activity in day 2 and 3 were bad too. Day 1 I just felt rough physically. I shouldn't have been out on the high street yesterday though!! ....talk about sweating! I got my tears out the way as soon as I had a lapse, as I was 440 days sober. This time though I've been able to prevent a full blown relapse from happening after 10 days of bingeing 4 times. I realise, since rehab and reading the Big Book of AA, alcohol just isn't the same. It tasted worse, I didn't even really get 'fun' drunk and I felt more anxious and awkward even during the drinking. Main cost is health and money. Not good, so no point. All the best!!!

jtennery

In the last year and half? Maybe about 7 to 10. That doesn't include the number of times I just took a day off. Sweating is good for getting the toxins out. My body odor isn't too bad on day 2 here. Was expecting it to be worse. Anyway and honestly..I am not sure if I'll have any willpower left to quit again. Pretty close to just giving up and letting this thing ride it's course to the end. It's a strange place to not really care about much.

@UNITE4STRENGTH Kudos for being able to pull back out after 10 days. Brain chemistry is a tricky thing. I am learning that my diet makes a big difference in the early days. Getting some practice with this. I'll need to not skip meals and avoid sugars and simple carbs for now.

So far, since being in the middle of day #2 here....

• Body odor not as bad as my other tries at this stage. Normally starts going away after 3 days.
• Vivid dreams and no nightmares (yet). Expecting nightmares from past experiences to start coming full force soon.
• Woke up in the middle of the night and am typing away on this post..
• Fingers crossed that I can keep some cognitive ability today! Have at least two things I should take care of.
• Pets are fine!

Dee74

That apathy will lift the longer you stay sober jtennery

D

jtennery

I suspect so. The irony is that it may be what gets me sober this time around.

jtennery

Double posted and can't figure out how to delete this one. Have an *edit*

Dee74

you can edit for up to 15 mins, but deletions not an option for members
Most people just write 'double post' or a single dot, anything to fulfill the one character requirement

D

Reid82

Welcome to SR.

DriGuy

It's also possible there is something beyond the initial withdrawal. Drinking was very bad for my blood sugar levels, but quitting fixed that almost permanently. What you are experiencing is not the way I experienced it. But one thing I can tell you with relative surety is that it is unlikely you will be done with initial withdrawal in 3 days. It varies for everyone. 3 days was my frequent fail day, until I committed myself to sobriety. 5 days was the hardest for me, and then the worst was over, but there is no established timeline for all of this to happen that is universally true for everyone. And my day 5 was also assisted by some other insights and a deeper commitment to getting well. There will be a lot of variables different for everyone that come into play. At this point, all I can say is keep trying. The first week can be a real battle with all the anxiety and obsessive thoughts about alcohol. It gets easier after you get through that.

I remember the biggest struggles of week one as mostly head stuff. Although my brain worked fine. It's just that it was totally devoted to wanting me to get drunk, and didn't have much left over for dealing with life in general.

I was already wishing you luck, before you requested it. Getting sober is a big deal, and not easy at first, but this changes completely with time. At the beginning, all I wanted was to quit drinking, and I would have been satisfied with that. The surprise was how much better sobriety was than I expected, but that part took a great deal of time, and yes, some work, but even the hardest parts were fun to do.

DriGuy

DON'T GIVE UP. Never do that. I made so many 3 day false starts that I could not possibly count them. I believe we have the will power to quit more than once, but I really have no evidence to actually know that for sure, but once the cravings became manageable, I knew I never wanted to go through that first part again. I was actually frightened by the prospect, and I stayed on the straight an narrow because I wasn't all that sure I could do it again. I think I could have, but testing those waters was much to risky to fool around with. It's better to just put the plug in the jug, and get on with your life.

Experimentation with seeing if you can finally drink normally has been universal disaster for alcoholics. And it has been one of the most common causes of failure. Actually, experimentation is failure, but that's a matter of semantics, I suppose.

jtennery

I have no illusions about being able to drink normally. There was a time I could ration even though I still wouldn't call it 'normal'. My mistake was thinking that I could easily pull out of it again. Not so much anymore. I crossed that line a while ago.

I know this is more than just a three day battle. When corona lockdowns first happened I made it just about two months until my electricity went out for 10 days due to a storm and I decided to 'chill' w/ some whiskey. One thing I remember about that time is I found out I was a really good meal planner. Never expected that.

I have never found each time I stopped to be the same. It's been different to varying degrees.

jtennery

Thanks! Good to know! I was close to handling it the accepted way

jtennery

Thanks for the kind responses everyone. At 44 hours since my last drink and am fairing along decently. Am close to being a full blown basket case, but expected that to kick in sooner. Brain still works to a degree. At least for the moment, but can sense what's coming.

Anyway...going to drop out of this thread and will update in a day or two. Will probably be lurking this site and learning more about it. Will post an update after I get through my 'psychosis' or whatever the heck it is.

Dee74

No need to drop out JT.
if you need support, it’s here to be used

D

jtennery

Oh, yes there is ;-) I'm all over the board at times..although physically I feel fine. Almost broke and stopped at one of my bars after a hike today...The gods must not of liked that idea and filled every bar stool before I showed up so homeward bound it was. Vrooom, vroom.

Dee74

I'm glad you kept on driving

D