GreatInquiry7

So I'm about 1.5 years sober, and in my own mind I'm pretty comfortable with where I'm at, don't want to drink. And that if needed, I could be comfortable sober in a bar setting.

But the other day, I went to a bar with some friends (and they asked me before if it was okay for us to go in there, I said yes). And as they got a little buzzed/drunk themselves, I started to feel more uncomfortable and ultimately leaded to me in getting in arguments with some of them for acting/stupid being embarrassing. But outside a bar setting, they act like this I would not have reacted that way, I know I wouldn't.

I feel bad that I reacted that way and feel like I ruined the event. They say they understand and don't think anything of it.

I think subconsciously I must've felt awkward, "lesser than" for not drinking, and the social anxiety feelings that I used to have (and in the past, would have drowned within drinking) were amplified.

Anyway, I was not expecting to feel so uncomfortable, but it was one of the first times in a bar setting like that in a long time. I guess now I know, but has anyone experienced anything like this/would you call it triggering?

(By the way, this did not make me want to drink, I just wanted the feeling to go away. But I think prolonged sitting with that feeling could have been dangerous, I ultimately left)

Jillian2563

I thinks a trigger in that you didn’t have anything in common with them at that point and didn’t want to be around them in that state.

biminiblue

Sounds like you are thinking it's FOMO (fear of missing out) - I would see it as, "I don't like to be around people who are drinking because THEY are difficult when under the influence." Too sensitive (drunks) too argumentative, too loud, too opinionated, etc etc ect. Extremes, and never in a good way..

I just leave as soon as the first person starts acting intoxicated if I can't move away from them. It's not fun for me to be around it.

fishkiller

Not sure if you were triggered or not. If you did not want to drink then I would say no.
I also believe it doesn't matter.

You made it out sober.

Getting angry at drunks for being stupid is what sober people do. Drunks are annoying.

Great work on 1.5 sober years!

stickyone

I also like meeting with friends for social gathering. But it depends of the event if it's a event like a kids birthday welcome home event. But just going to a bar that is a place for drinking. I tend to stay away for that reason. Most of us tell a story when we used to drink. And it starts off with when I was young drunk and stupid I did this. Lol well that's what most are at a bar for. To get drink and stupid. No offense to the responsible people that go.

wehav2day

Honestly, I think you’re doing great. The biggest thing that struck me about your post is the honesty of your thinking.

for me, my biggest issue used to be dishonesty. I would think I “can” or “should” be able to handle a situation like going to a bar. When I got honest about it, it all became so much easier. I ask myself if I REALLY am ok with it. If so, I go. If not, I politely decline. 8.5 years in, I still occasionally have times when I’m not ok with it, and I’m good with that. Sometimes it’s the people/situation, sometimes it’s me.

Your actions and your response are both ok and perfectly normal, and it sounds like your friends accept you for who you are and where you are right now.

P.S when I’m in a place with friends and it starts getting loud/stupid, I always get a little cranky. I call it “drunk :30” my spouse knows this, so we know it’s time to move on as drunk :30 starts.

silentrun

It could be a lot of things. If it makes you uncomfortable to be in that situation then its possibly some form of self preservation trying to get your attention. It's not how you want to spend your time and that's what matters.

I've seen sober for years and there is no way I would want to sit around and watch people get drunk. Half the population doesn't ever even drink so I wonder why you stated not drinking would bring up feelings of "less than".

DriGuy

That's not what we usually consider a trigger in an alcoholic sense. Although, the term "trigger" is also used in other situations, and in that regard, the situation may have "triggered" you to lash out in a way that is not part of your normal character.