Disser

I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s 11pm here in uk right now tomorrow it would have been 2 days ago but I can’t get sleep because of thinking about what happened. This is a guy that will drink almost daily of 700ml or 70cl of 40% alcohol almost daily. If I were to drink out in pub your talking about a litre because of all the drinking I do at home before I go out. Iv experienced not remembering things but my memory comes and goes and I just forget parts not everything. The only thing I remember the other night was leaving the pub. I don’t remember walking home. I must have fell somewhere because my hands are bruised and they had dried blood on fingers got wounds like I fell into a brick wall or something, bruises on my legs aswell. Flat mate said I was crying on the floor in the house. All I remember was leaving the pub wasn’t that late and suddenly and quickly I was woken up by my alarm clock in the morning for work. I don’t know how even managed to set my alarm. Still had my coat on when I woke up. Could hardly move my body, my body was shaking trying to move. I drank a lot but nowhere near the most Iv ever drank before. Has this happened to anyone ellse. Where you literally don’t remember a thing? I’m just thinking I could got run over walking home or anything. I feel like I could have died for some reason. I’m just getting really down thinking about and trying my hardest to remember things

Dee74

The longer I drank the less amount of alcohol it took to make me worse than I'd ever been before.
I think that's pretty common, as are increasing severe blackouts.

I'd focus on solutions.
Did you make it to the AA meeting?

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

Alcohols tend to be very reactive molecules due to the -OH group.
As a result, when you ingest ethanol, it can kill cells (by reacting with cells walls and literally eating them) and trigger your body's inflammatory reaction. When this happens, you feel irritation wherever it occurs. Or you get weird things like a white tongue, congestion that makes you feel like you want to throw up, etc. Since most of the alcohol is absorbed in the gut and stomach, alcohol abuse tends to cause belly pain over time.

But that's not the worst part. The first step in alcohol metabolism in the liver is ethanol --> acetaldehyde, and acetaldehyde is nasty. You might recognize the suffix -aldehyde from formaldehyde. If you drink alcoholically, this can build up faster than your liver can break it down into less dangerous substances and cause you great pain. The symptoms of acetaldehyde poisoning are similar to that of a horrendous hangover.

On top of that, when alcohol penetrates your brain, it mimics the action of certain neurotransmitters and your CNS responds by secreting neurotransmitters that have the opposite effect. This is what causes the addictive euphoria that we get from slamming back a few shots. This is dangerous because your body is constantly trying to metabolize the alcohol into less dangerous substances, and when it does, your brain will still be stuck in fight or flight mode from when you were intoxicated. This can cause additional symptoms like anxiety, horrible nausea, shakiness, hallucinations, and seizures. It depends on your particular brain chemistry and history of withdrawal events.

What you're likely feeling is a transition from traditional hangovers to alcohol withdrawal events that start when your blood alcohol level gets too low. It is likely that with future binge drinking, this will be your new normal. It is for me and one of the many reasons I don't drink alcohol anymore.

Backtogood

I had horrible withdrawls today at work. Throwing up in the bathroom, sweats, anxiety...it was horrible. I bought 4 shots after work just to feel normal. I actually had to leave work early. I'm sorry your going through this, your not alone. I think I'm totally at my rock bottom.

least

If you never drink again, you'll never have to go thru such horrible withdrawals again. I wouldn't drink again for all the money in the world. I value my freedom too much.

Disser

well it’s given me a more of a reason to stop drinking then. Not drank for 2 days now since then and I really doubt I’d want a drink today. By the time I got home from work I only had 40 mins to get a wash get changed then I have to catch bus. I would have been late. It’s okay they have another one on thurs and I’m off work that day so plenty of time to go

Disser

Well I think it’s scared me from drinking. I only hope it has for good though and I don’t end up forgetting about it

SouthernSober

It's a sobering--literally and figuratively--reality that we resist change to avoid pain and discomfort, but for many of us only unbearable pain and discomfort force us to change.

DBRS814

I hear you Disser and feel your pain. I've had more of those nights than I care to remember (that I forgot). It's scary to wake up in bed not remembering how you got home and see your car parked in the garage knowing you drove. Or waking up on a strange couch or in an ally or when you see the credit card was used at 3 places you have no memory going to. The injuries always perplexed me as well. I'd check my hands to make sure I wasn't in a fight. Then I'd have to avoid those places for weeks or months.

Yes the shame can eat you up for a bit, but don't worry, you're not alone, any drunk worth his whiskey has been there/done that. Move on, be glad you're more or less ok. You can learn from it (i.e. quit), or keep doing it like I did til it almost killed me. A wise drunk (now dead) once said, "you can't spend yourself out of debt, and you can't drink yourself sober."

As for the health concerns I'd see a doc if you're not improving.

The good news is, as others pointed out, you never have to go through that again. The peace of mind waking up everyday without fear, confusion and anxiety is priceless. It's worth a try Disser, don't let it take any more from you.

D122y

Withdrawal can be deadly. See a Dr. is the most correct answer.

In my experience...

The great news is exactly the day I quit, things started getting better.

I could feel it.

There were all sorts of horrible mental and physical issues that seemed to manifest once I quit, but over it all I could feel healing.

I talk of it as 2 steps forward 1 step back...or going through the fire of hell to get to heaven...finally...suffering and time.

Any decision to drink...no matter how much...is a relapse.

Thanks.

Disser

I know they can be deadly but Iv not been an alcoholic for long to be honest only 3 years. I’m 33 and didn’t become an alcoholic till I was 30 even though before then I would have a drink or two once every 2 or 3 weeks. It became progressive as I liked the feeling of being drunk taken me away from the **** situation I was in in life being lonely. Progressed worse until I found my self the last year drinking in the day and drinking at night most days spending all my overtime money on alcohol struggling to pay rent for a cheap house share because of the amount of alcohol I buy. I think I can get through the withdrawals. I think the worst was yesterday but I don’t know whever if more will come or not. It’s 9:30am and I’m awake and refreshed because I could actually sleep last night. Feeling fine but I don’t know why I’m even having thoughts about drinking alcohol tonight after how much pain and anger it’s brought into my life. I’m visiting family today and buying a bottle to drink on the way home tonight on the train is so tempting

Dee74

A few days ago you were seriously concerned about you health - mental as well as physical - don't rationalise because you feel ok now that means you're not doing any damage.

I don't want to get melodramatic but I remember your posts about your anger - the next time you black out you might skin your knuckles on another person, not a wall.

That's not a position you want to be in.

I had to make more of an effort not to drink than I did to drink again.
That was the only way I could change.

I know you said getting a bus to AA is a pain but I bet you've caught a bus or worse to buy booze, right? I know I did.

Don't buy booze - and don't wait til Thursday for the next AA meeting. Zoom meetings are happening all over the world and you can drop into one at anytime.

D

Disser

sorry meant thinking about buying a bottle not going to

Dee74

Yeah I knew you said you were only thinking about it - just giving out the good advice that would be a backwards step

D