Jillian2563

I’ve officially made it past double digits. I never ever want to go back to the hell I was living and I’m pretty confident I won’t. And to keep that confidence I will continue to go to meetings, post on SR, go to the therapy and all the things I’ve been doing. The biggest one is probably just letting myself have time. Time for me. Not worrying about whether or not the house will get cleaned to my liking, not worrying about those two last boxes that need unpacked from moving, nor worry about whether going to bed at 7:30pm is “too early” and whether or not I’m wasting time. Right now all I’m trying to do is pick up all the broken pieces and figuring out how to put them all together. I’m also coming to realize that I need to make priorities such as putting my phone up and actual be present. I constantly feel the “need” the check my phone. But I don’t need to. What I do need to do is spend more time with my kids. I need to make dinner, regardless if I’m going to bed early or not. I need to talk or at least listen, to my husband more, whether I want to or not. I need to have time with God. I need to focus on my health. These are the most important to me right now.

I’m sure it’s pretty common, but I’m terrified of the damage I may have caused my body. I see my primary care doctor next week. I see a specialist tomorrow for issues I’ve been having with my throat (for at least a year). It’s hard to not worry about it though. But hopefully tomorrow I will either have some answers or relief.

DBRS814

11 hard won days is awesome J! Focusing on STAYING sober should be your #1 priority now. Maybe making dinner can't wait, but surely a few unpacked boxes, unchecked phone, load of laundry etc can wait. Can you talk to your husband and let him know you'll need a little extra help? Staying stress free as possible was important for me those first few weeks til I figured out how to handle stress without a drink in hand. Your statement that you cannot go back to that hell rang so true for me too, as it was hell. Almost to the point of not worth living in anymore. The fact that you're so committed is wonderful, just keep focused, and when that little voice starts talking remind yourself of the miserable place it will lead you to. Best wishes Jillian and keep posting, reading and letting yourself breath. We're all here for any support!

ScottFromWI

Great job on 11 days Jillian. You are doing all the right things and I can very personally understand all the health worries, I was a sufferer of health anxiety on top of all the withdrawal anxiety when I finally quit for good. I hesitate to offer an advice in that respect other than sharing that many of my fears were unwarranted. I hope your doctor visit goes well, and if you are also doing therapy definitely explore your worries there too.

On the subject of worry, it also helped me to remember that I will never solve all the problems at once. Not only that, but even if I were to solve them all there will be a fresh list of things to worry about if I seek them ;-) It sounds kind of corny, but one of the tips my counselor gave me way back when was to give myself a dedicated time of the day to worry about things - an hour, 30 mintues, whatever. And then the rest of the day spend time in the moment doing things. Very hard to practice but in concept it did work to a certain extent.

dustyfox

11 days is a great achievement. Running a home, children, husband, these are tiring and when you are recovering your body is extra tired. Your mind too.
All I can say about the potential damage is....you are NO longer damaging yourself, but if you drink again you will be. While you remain sober you are healing, even if it hurts. If you drink again the healing stops.
Wishing you strength and a good nights sleep!

Jillian2563

I actually got a lot more done today than the have in the past few days; and I pretty much did what you described. I worried a little, cried a little, and then got on with my day.

Jillian2563

And that’s exactly what I keep reminding myself.

Dee74

I am sure you find,. like most of us the result will be far better than we fear, Jillian.
Congrats on day 11

D

least

Congrats on 11 days sober! You deserve a big hug!

freedomfries

Congrats on 11 days. Good luck at the doc.

advbike

You're doing fantastic Jillian! Lots of great observations, and thoughts. You'll get through this just fine.

Jillian2563

Thanks everyone. And now of course the day of my doctors appt, son is running a fever and has to stay home.

Jillian2563

Grandma watched my son so I could go to my dr appt. The dr did a nasal endoscopy and saw that my voice box is inflamed. He thinks due to acid reflux, even though I don’t exhibit other regular symptoms such as heartburn or bitter taste. He’s prescribed medication to try to for four weeks and follow up as to whether it’s helped and we can go from there. But his words were that he didn’t see anything too alarming. So that’s good I guess and hope it’s just GERD.

I came back home and now my 4 year old sons fever is higher than it was before. And he’s not feeling good at all. I hate to see him like this. It’s high despite giving him Motrin. I’ve called his dr and waiting response. He’s taking a nap now which he NEVER does. All the urgent care wait times are over 2 hrs and no online check in’s. Ugh. Please say a prayer for my little buddy. All this time I was worried about myself and now my little is sick.

advbike

Tylenol (Acetaminophen) works best for fever Jillian.

You can also put him in a cold bath if necessary

Jillian2563

thanks advbike, I just got some Tylenol for him.

Dee74

No medical advice thanks guys.
I hope you hear from the doctor soon Jillian

Dee
Administrator
SR

MythOfSisyphus

That's awesome @Jillian2563!

Dee74

Hows your son Jillian?

D

Jillian2563

The doctor had called back (before advbikes comment) and suggested I alternate Tylenol and Motrin. I gave him his last does at 7:30 last night and he has woken up fever free this am with no other meds. I was super worried yesterday because it was so high, 103.2-103.9. We will see how today goes. I hope his body got rid of whatever it was, hence the high fever. Thanks for checking

Dee74

I'm glad to hear he's better

D

Jillian2563

Now I’m not feeling so great. Go figure. I get sober and then get sick.