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Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
Lower Power and turning it over
One of those special meetings last night at AA. I was asked to read the Daily Reflection and pick a topic, the former basically Step Three and the latter, turning it over.
In a room full of old-timers 5-40+ years sober, I shouldn't be surprised that they turned a good topic into an essential one. I chose the topic more along the lines of admitting being powerless over people places and things and turning over to God the things over which we had no control.
My sponsor then shared that a friend of his had a 36 y/o son estranged due to his problems with alcohol and refusal to get help. Well, last week the son locked himself into a motel room and drank himself to death. This is a motel that is literally within walking distance of one of my AA meetings, a huge, beautiful church filled with light and hope down the street from one of the South's most gorgeous marinas.
So the topic segued more into NOT turning it over, or tacking it back. Then it struck me: I had picked up in the program the idea that if God is my HP, alcohol is my LOWER power. But what really struck me like a ton of bricks is this: in taking it back from God and going back to self-will...even that self-will lasted all of one drink. That disastrous first one. After that, it wasn't even MY will anymore. Drinking I have no will. I have taken that will from my HP and turned it over to my LP, alcohol. And then it's just a matter of time before I can do virtually nothing but drink or writhe in agony trying not to drink. Playing golf, fishing, gardening--all those things I would enjoy at my age and station...poof, gone.
As they say, wine makes a great servant, but a terrible master. best, SS
In a room full of old-timers 5-40+ years sober, I shouldn't be surprised that they turned a good topic into an essential one. I chose the topic more along the lines of admitting being powerless over people places and things and turning over to God the things over which we had no control.
My sponsor then shared that a friend of his had a 36 y/o son estranged due to his problems with alcohol and refusal to get help. Well, last week the son locked himself into a motel room and drank himself to death. This is a motel that is literally within walking distance of one of my AA meetings, a huge, beautiful church filled with light and hope down the street from one of the South's most gorgeous marinas.
So the topic segued more into NOT turning it over, or tacking it back. Then it struck me: I had picked up in the program the idea that if God is my HP, alcohol is my LOWER power. But what really struck me like a ton of bricks is this: in taking it back from God and going back to self-will...even that self-will lasted all of one drink. That disastrous first one. After that, it wasn't even MY will anymore. Drinking I have no will. I have taken that will from my HP and turned it over to my LP, alcohol. And then it's just a matter of time before I can do virtually nothing but drink or writhe in agony trying not to drink. Playing golf, fishing, gardening--all those things I would enjoy at my age and station...poof, gone.
As they say, wine makes a great servant, but a terrible master. best, SS
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