Recovery Without Meetings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Great White North
Posts: 4
Recovery Without Meetings
Hello all. I have been sober now 10 months now. But after leaving the treatment center, I haven't been attending meetings. I do have a recovery plan in action though, which covers many major life areas. I eat healthy and sleep well, I am working out. I make regular check-ins with an addiction therapist, attend recovery workshops and do the accompanying homework. I also read recovery books and check in with online communities similar to SR. Physically and mentally I feel great. However, I haven't been going to any meetings. Now I have the utmost respect for the AA community, believe in it and I have attended dozens of meetings. I'm just choosing not to include meetings in my recovery plan, as I feel I don't get nearly as much out of them as I would with attending classes or speaking with someone 1 on 1. Should I feel guilty about this? I am working the program the best way as I see fit, and while no recovery path is the same, I feel like there's almost an obligation to attend meetings. Or if I tell somebody I don't go to meetings, I feel like they wouldn't take the recovery seriously. I could see if I wasn't doing other things to help with my recovery, but I am doing a lot, so can my recovery plan exist without meetings? It's discouraging to read success rates without meetings isn't very good.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Remain willing, teachable, honest and openminded
in your own recovery program. It's keeping you sober
and strengthening your own resolve to remain sober,
healthy and happy.
It was explained and taught to me that I wouldn't be
able to keep what I have if I don't give it away. Meaning,
all the gifts Ive been receiving and granted thru out my
life can easily be gone in a heart beat if I can't remain
sober and pass on the knowledge of how I got here to
others still struggling or suffering from addiction.
I too went thru a 28 day rehab stay with a 6 week after
care program attached before I was set on my own recovery
journey. The AA program of recovery was taught to me
to use as a guideline to help me achieve health, happiness
and honesty in my own life.
For the past 31 yrs I went to a many a meetings, listening,
learning and finding balance in life and recovery. As a mom
and wife, career changes, personal changes, times have
changed esp. keeping distance from others for health reasons.
There are many who are unable to make a face to face
meeting for whatever reason and thus turn to the internet
for help. Like it is in face to face meetings, folks need to
hear or see those who are achieving success in recovery.
Same thing here online. We have a voice here in SR and
other sites to share our ESH, experiences, strengths and
hopes with other looking for answers and guidance to help
them achieve what so many are achieving on a daily bases.
SR has become one of many recovery lifelines I choose
to hold on tightly to help others like they do for me.
Those AA meetings are there and will continue to be there
knowing, if i ever need them I know where to go never forgetting
where I started out from. There will always be a chair waiting
for me if needed.
in your own recovery program. It's keeping you sober
and strengthening your own resolve to remain sober,
healthy and happy.
It was explained and taught to me that I wouldn't be
able to keep what I have if I don't give it away. Meaning,
all the gifts Ive been receiving and granted thru out my
life can easily be gone in a heart beat if I can't remain
sober and pass on the knowledge of how I got here to
others still struggling or suffering from addiction.
I too went thru a 28 day rehab stay with a 6 week after
care program attached before I was set on my own recovery
journey. The AA program of recovery was taught to me
to use as a guideline to help me achieve health, happiness
and honesty in my own life.
For the past 31 yrs I went to a many a meetings, listening,
learning and finding balance in life and recovery. As a mom
and wife, career changes, personal changes, times have
changed esp. keeping distance from others for health reasons.
There are many who are unable to make a face to face
meeting for whatever reason and thus turn to the internet
for help. Like it is in face to face meetings, folks need to
hear or see those who are achieving success in recovery.
Same thing here online. We have a voice here in SR and
other sites to share our ESH, experiences, strengths and
hopes with other looking for answers and guidance to help
them achieve what so many are achieving on a daily bases.
SR has become one of many recovery lifelines I choose
to hold on tightly to help others like they do for me.
Those AA meetings are there and will continue to be there
knowing, if i ever need them I know where to go never forgetting
where I started out from. There will always be a chair waiting
for me if needed.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Your path is yours alone and your sobriety and how you successfully navigate sobriety is yours alone. There are so many different roads to walk as life is not the "one size fits all" kind of thing. I encourage you to stand firm in the decisions that you are making for yourself and to own the power of your life. You are doing well. Keep doing well. Do not let others get into your head about what and how you should or should not be living. YOU GOT THIS! Congrats on your sober time. Keep moving forward!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I know I was way too sensitive to what other people thought in early sobriety.
Then one day I realized, "Hm. I can't really read peoples' minds." Even if I could, and even if they were judging me, so what? Only opinion that matters is my own.
I went to meetings for about three months in early sobriety but I stopped going after about 100 meetings. I still think the general program of AA as laid out in the book is good and the ability to socialize with other sober people is good, but there are other parts of AA that just don't work for me. Many of us here use bits and pieces of lots of different methods and spiritual connections.
Welcome to the site.
Like Mizz said, to thine own self be true. This is your journey.
Then one day I realized, "Hm. I can't really read peoples' minds." Even if I could, and even if they were judging me, so what? Only opinion that matters is my own.
I went to meetings for about three months in early sobriety but I stopped going after about 100 meetings. I still think the general program of AA as laid out in the book is good and the ability to socialize with other sober people is good, but there are other parts of AA that just don't work for me. Many of us here use bits and pieces of lots of different methods and spiritual connections.
Welcome to the site.
Like Mizz said, to thine own self be true. This is your journey.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,154
Drizzy,
I have read many times that the majority of people who quit drinking do it without outside help. I actually heard that the first time in an AA meeting. I have a close friend who did it that way. We talk about our past drinking, and our present love for sobriety, but when pressed about details and strategies, he simply says, "I just decided to quit." I think he and other private types must have done a lot of the same internal processing I did, but they did it on their own. Or maybe they just decided to quit. Is his sobriety more or less solid than my own? I don't know. Was it harder to get sober his way than my way? I don't know. Was his method of recovery better than mine? I don't know.
Since these private types don't talk as much as the typical group recovery types, they become invisible to others in the world of recovery. We don't hear from them and we don't know who they are. My friend does communicate to me that sobriety to him is a big deal and one of the best decisions of his life, so I do think it's as important to him as my sobriety is to me.
But the point is (finally) that feeling guilty about your strategy for sobriety is irrelevant to your success. I'd drop that feeling right now. What does deserve your focus, perhaps all of your focus, is your determination to stay sober and your vigilance toward what's going on inside you. You need to constantly be ready to adapt your plans when you see danger ahead.
You've done well so far, and I see no reason for you to fail, as long as you stay focused and determined. Keep it up, and thanks for sharing here. If there's another way to do this thing, we would all do well by listening to it. Many of us have found lasting sobriety, but none of us have all the answers.
I have read many times that the majority of people who quit drinking do it without outside help. I actually heard that the first time in an AA meeting. I have a close friend who did it that way. We talk about our past drinking, and our present love for sobriety, but when pressed about details and strategies, he simply says, "I just decided to quit." I think he and other private types must have done a lot of the same internal processing I did, but they did it on their own. Or maybe they just decided to quit. Is his sobriety more or less solid than my own? I don't know. Was it harder to get sober his way than my way? I don't know. Was his method of recovery better than mine? I don't know.
Since these private types don't talk as much as the typical group recovery types, they become invisible to others in the world of recovery. We don't hear from them and we don't know who they are. My friend does communicate to me that sobriety to him is a big deal and one of the best decisions of his life, so I do think it's as important to him as my sobriety is to me.
But the point is (finally) that feeling guilty about your strategy for sobriety is irrelevant to your success. I'd drop that feeling right now. What does deserve your focus, perhaps all of your focus, is your determination to stay sober and your vigilance toward what's going on inside you. You need to constantly be ready to adapt your plans when you see danger ahead.
You've done well so far, and I see no reason for you to fail, as long as you stay focused and determined. Keep it up, and thanks for sharing here. If there's another way to do this thing, we would all do well by listening to it. Many of us have found lasting sobriety, but none of us have all the answers.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,911
AA and the people I met in it helped me get sober. But I haven't felt the need to attend meetings in a few years and with the latest surge in covid cases I won't be going anytime soon. I've been sober over 11 years and attending meetings is no longer part of my recovery plan.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 525
Either A.A. meetings are necessary for recovery or they aren't. My experience and the experience of countless others has led me to conclude that there is a type of alcoholic for whom they are necessary. I obviously have no way of knowing whether you are that type. I'd simply encourage you to keep an open mind about it. You wouldn't be the first person to discover they are that type even after months/years of sobriety without meetings.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
My sobriety plan has involved a wide range of things. I've been to AA meetings, Smart meetings and Celebrate Recovery meetings. I've seen a counselor who specializes in addiction. I've talked to my doctor about it. I've read books, articles and blogs and listened to podcasts specific to addiction. I've researched and practiced mindfulness and meditation specifically as a tool to help with my addiction, but also my related anxiety. And that's just the stuff I can think of off the top of my head ;-) Every one of these things had an impact on my life in a positive way at some point in my sober journey, and I would imagine that I will find other things in the future not on the list. For me the key was keeping an open mind, and also realizing that what I am doing today to stay sober is probably not the same thing I'll be doing 1 week, 1 month or 1 year from now.
I feel input from others is important, but the only obligation you have as it regards your sobriety is for yourself. You will meet people who are very adamant that their way is the only way - with just about every organized recovery method. And that's fine for them. That's also one of the reasons that there are so many sub forums here on SR dedicated to different methods.
I feel input from others is important, but the only obligation you have as it regards your sobriety is for yourself. You will meet people who are very adamant that their way is the only way - with just about every organized recovery method. And that's fine for them. That's also one of the reasons that there are so many sub forums here on SR dedicated to different methods.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 637
Originally Posted by drizzy 
Wow, thanks everybody for the overwhelming response. I am feeling a lot better after reading all the responses. Looking forward to being an active member here! Thanks again.
Today I work in day 466 . I haven't gone to a meeting since I began recovery and I don't have a sponsor. Ive noticed alot of members here with some good amount of time in recovery doing well in there recovery without both. I use sober recovery as a tool in my recovery which has helped tremendously. During my days in recovery I found my self getting a little restless with my routine. Which is a great improvement from my old habits. Thank you for sharing . Just front reading this post I have to mix it up a bit. I've been maintaining this new healthy way of life but maintenance doesn't feel enough I must continue to grow. Have
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I went to approximately a kajillion AA meetings - one a day every day, sometimes more - and then one day, I just stopped. (Like Forrest Gump who ran and ran and ran and the just stopped running.) It just wasn't 'doing it' for me anymore. Maybe it will later, like tonight or a few months from now or a few years from now. Those who swear that meetings keep a person sober have found that they need that particular community; and that's ok. I don't feel connected to that community in the way that some others do, and that's ok too. The principles travel well on solo trips too.
Look at the last chip you received. Note that it says, "To thine own self be true."
Do that.
No guilt required - AA says so right there on the chip.
O
Look at the last chip you received. Note that it says, "To thine own self be true."
Do that.
No guilt required - AA says so right there on the chip.
O
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